NeedAnswers939 Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 Ok i sincerly apologize for this being EXTREMELY LONG! If you read all this. Thank You In Advance! My wife and I have been together for 9 years. Ours sexlife is not lagging anywhere, just as great as the first time. About a year ago i found out she was texting someone and we had a big fall out I won't go into that bucket but long story short... The password came off her phone at my request from now on... Not for me to snope but my ego was if you have nothing to hide you dont need a passcode on your phone end of discussion. Few months go by without any snooping and then one day she feel asleep beside me with her phone laying right on my leg.. It was like I got a gift from GOD! As if there was a bright light glowing around it lol I couldn't help it..! I opened her phone and went for the usual.. Text, email, photos... Nothing! Was kinda pleased and then something struck me! I had remembered from about 4 years ago I gave her a old phone of mine because hers broke she used it for 4 months and then got her new iPhone afterwards I thru the old phone in the drawer and forgot about it.. Couple months later i just grabbed the phone to look for an old photo or something and upon going thru the phone I opened the browser and there was a porn site open.. I quickly closed it as I assumed I had left it opened when i last used the phone but as soon as I deleted it I had realized... Wait she was using it last.. Was she looking at Porn!! But it was to late i had closed it and couldn't verify which content it was. Ok sorry back to present day shes asleep on the couch I've gone thru every possible thing in her phone a person would keep private things.. And then comes the browser.. Immediately upon clicking History BOOM! There it all was video after video after search page after video. Ill have to admit I was very turned on by this to know what she's watching and that she does watch it. Let me also add that we have watched many videos together and she is not opposed to it with me tho she will swear up and down that she doesn't watch it alone or DEFINITELY DOESNT MASTURBATE! I know this to be 50% false her browser history doesnt lie folks and honestly shes gotten pretty good at deleting her history but every now and then if I'm lucky on a quite night around the house shell drift off with the phone in my reach and immediately and go right for her browser I mean its like a disease for me I long to know what shes watching and then the fact of her pleasuring herself to it is the added bonus for me I just wish I could 100% confirm she is masturbating to it. SHE HAS NO IDEA I have gone thru her browser and seen her porn history so it's kinda difficult for me when we do watch porn together because I try to get her to open up about what she wants to watch and she always says whatever is fine with you and I'd love to put on something I know she likes but I'm afraid it'll throw a red flag.. I mean she doesn't search for anything drastic shes really into lesbian porn which most woman are but My Question here is how do I figure out if she is masturbating to the videos she is watching!
Almira23 Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 I don't get the issue here. Why is it a big deal that she is watching porn and masturbating?
lostandhurt Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 To what end? What will proving she is masturbating to porn do? She is obviously uncomfortable admitting she watches porn alone so why push it? If you only want to know for more of a turn on then why don't you play out some of the things she likes in the bedroom. The texting someone else (man or woman) sexual messages doesn't sound like it was dealt with properly. Could this porn watching be an extension of that desire to connect with someone sexually? Lost
rosephase Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 It sounds like you have a kink. Your kink is having your wife jerk off and watch porn. Why not grow up and tell her this gets you off. Because A kink is okay, it can be fun... but you obsessing and constantly checking your partner's phone is a horrible invasion of privacy. How about you sit down with your wife about sex. Talk to her about what turns you on. Stop trying to find her out. That is so disrespectful.
Capricorn3 Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 Married 9 years and you can't talk to her about this? Seriously?
Capricorn3 Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 It sounds like you have a kink. Your kink is having your wife jerk off and watch porn. Why not grow up and tell her this gets you off. Because A kink is okay, it can be fun... but you obsessing and constantly checking your partner's phone is a horrible invasion of privacy. How about you sit down with your wife about sex. Talk to her about what turns you on. Stop trying to find her out. That is so disrespectful. Agreed.....
Dahl Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 You write that you did not demand your wife remove the security passcode from her phone so that you could snoop, but then you admit that you rifle through her phone 'immediately' every time she falls asleep. Can you clarify?
Snny Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 I don't get the issue here. Why is it a big deal that she is watching porn and masturbating? Just another poster trying to show off. No offense, but you are over obsessive what your wife does. In a very creepy, stalkerish, unhealthy, and non-sexy way. ]
NeedAnswers939 Posted February 28, 2017 Author Posted February 28, 2017 No I don't believe her watching porn is a extra escape from her past texting fling.. She was watching porn way before that happened
Dahl Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 Just another poster trying to show off. No offense, but you are over obsessive what your wife does. In a very creepy, stalkerish, unhealthy, and non-sexy way. ] This is just sensational! OP, since you told your wife to take off her passcode protection on her phone to prove her innocence, or something, not sure on that, not to allow you to snoop, have you since alerted her that you're snooping 'immediately' and 'every time she falls asleep?' Why are you callously violating her trust?
NeedAnswers939 Posted February 28, 2017 Author Posted February 28, 2017 And to also clarify we have been together 9 years tech. Bf and Gf but we consider it marriage since we've come this far (plans are in the works) But yes I did not request her remove the password so i could snoop just for the little ese of knowing she didnt have a passcode meaning theres nothing on her phone she has to hide like an affair but I do ocasionally go thru it only for the fact of i want to know if she watched it or what not that day... Look folks I've tried the whole talking about it and she completely shuts down.. I guess what I'm really looking for here is how can I get my wife/gf to open up about her sexuality.. This is the only part of her sexuality that she keeps from me and I dont like secrets she knows all my dirt and soap so why cant I know hers.. I dont want to invade her privacy and wouldn't won't her to stop if she found out I knew.. So how do I get her to not feel uncomfortable and talk to me about exactly what she does.. Do i just come out and say.. Hey I Know What Your Doing Alone.. Or work it into a conversation.. Or after sex ugh... Idk what to do.
Dahl Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 Do i just come out and say.. Hey I Know What Your Doing Alone.. Or work it into a conversation.. Or after sex ugh. I'm sorry - what?.. Just. What?!
NeedAnswers939 Posted February 28, 2017 Author Posted February 28, 2017 And also no offense but if I were to tell her I'm going thru her phone when I can. I only feel that would only make her delete any dirt before I come home every day leaving me to check a perfect phone leaving me to think I'm in a perfect relationship when she could be doing god knows what!!!
Capricorn3 Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 My wife and I have been together for 9 years. Ours sexlife is not lagging anywhere, just as great as the first time. If your sex life is so great then I cannot for the life of me understand why you cannot discuss this with her. Makes no sense at all.
rosephase Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 And to also clarify we have been together 9 years tech. Bf and Gf but we consider it marriage since we've come this far (plans are in the works) But yes I did not request her remove the password so i could snoop just for the little ese of knowing she didnt have a passcode meaning theres nothing on her phone she has to hide like an affair but I do ocasionally go thru it only for the fact of i want to know if she watched it or what not that day... Look folks I've tried the whole talking about it and she completely shuts down.. I guess what I'm really looking for here is how can I get my wife/gf to open up about her sexuality.. This is the only part of her sexuality that she keeps from me and I dont like secrets she knows all my dirt and soap so why cant I know hers.. I dont want to invade her privacy and wouldn't won't her to stop if she found out I knew.. So how do I get her to not feel uncomfortable and talk to me about exactly what she does.. Do i just come out and say.. Hey I Know What Your Doing Alone.. Or work it into a conversation.. Or after sex ugh... Idk what to do. Talk to her like an adult. Sit down with her and talk. If she shuts down whenever you bring up sex it might be a bigger issue. How are you 9 years in and you can't talk to her about sex?
Snny Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 Masturbation is a very private thing. You need to respect her privacy if you truly love her. And the analogy of her knowing your secrets/"dirt" has nothing to do with it. She isn't keeping any secrets from you. Just because she is dating you doesn't mean she's not entitle to her own personal time or privacy. Respect it.
Dahl Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 And also no offense but if I were to tell her I'm going thru her phone when I can. I only feel that would only make her delete any dirt before I come home every day leaving me to check a perfect phone leaving me to think I'm in a perfect relationship when she could be doing god knows what!!! What?! Is this real?
rosephase Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 And also no offense but if I were to tell her I'm going thru her phone when I can. I only feel that would only make her delete any dirt before I come home every day leaving me to check a perfect phone leaving me to think I'm in a perfect relationship when she could be doing god knows what!!! Why would her looking at porn mean you aren't in a perfect relationship? It seems like you are turned on by her looking at porn. Let her be her own person.
Snny Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 And also no offense but if I were to tell her I'm going thru her phone when I can. I only feel that would only make her delete any dirt before I come home every day leaving me to check a perfect phone leaving me to think I'm in a perfect relationship when she could be doing god knows what!!! I'm having a very difficult time taking you seriously... Because this sounds crazy and paranoia to the extreme.
Dahl Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 I'm having a very difficult time taking you seriously... Because this sounds crazy and paranoia to the extreme. Crazy about this! I'm now entirety lost. What was the actual question in the op?
melancholy123 Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 Are you for real? You are so incredibly nosey about what's on her phone and what she's doing in the privacy of her own home/bedroom. You are a real whack job and I'd kick your butt to the curb if I was her and found out what you've been doing. You have no respect for her.
Hollyj Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 And to also clarify we have been together 9 years tech. Bf and Gf but we consider it marriage since we've come this far (plans are in the works) But yes I did not request her remove the password so i could snoop just for the little ese of knowing she didnt have a passcode meaning theres nothing on her phone she has to hide like an affair but I do ocasionally go thru it only for the fact of i want to know if she watched it or what not that day... Look folks I've tried the whole talking about it and she completely shuts down.. I guess what I'm really looking for here is how can I get my wife/gf to open up about her sexuality.. This is the only part of her sexuality that she keeps from me and I dont like secrets she knows all my dirt and soap so why cant I know hers.. I dont want to invade her privacy and wouldn't won't her to stop if she found out I knew.. So how do I get her to not feel uncomfortable and talk to me about exactly what she does.. Do i just come out and say.. Hey I Know What Your Doing Alone.. Or work it into a conversation.. Or after sex ugh... Idk what to do. You sound like a control freak! You are very insecure! If you can't trust thus woman, then end it. I would be so done with your nonsense if Get some help!!!
Perrin83 Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 OP says they have been together for 9 years. Based on his immature behavior, I postulate that they started dating at the tender age of 5.
Matt3939 Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 I think it matters the relationship. I've watched porn with some of my gf. They actually requested it. Others you could tell weren't into it but gave it a go. One was against it. Porn is personal we like what we like. We have our go 2 stuff. Or it can just be random omg how did I get here. She might be embarrassed. That's her time just like I'm sure you have yours. I always liked it when some would say. "How would you like it if I was watching guy's in porn"? Um I wouldn't care in the least. I think the bigger problem is the obsession with her phone.
j.man Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 Do the police know she might be masturbating??
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