No contact, it's really difficult

[Havefaith2]

Hello,

 

So I am in the no contact period with my Ex boyfriend. I found out he was cheating on me a few weeks ago, and I was devastated. He apologized to me for cheating and hurting me, but then I found out more stuff about his secret life and I've vowed to stay no contact at this point. It's been a week and a half, and to be honest it's really difficult. He really broke my heart and I guess it bothers me in a sense that he hasn't reached out. The last point of contact wasn't a good ending, I basically told him he was a lying piece of crap and he didn't deserve me. But I can't help but wonder if he even misses what we had, or is he happy I said goodbye to him? I know at this point that it shouldn't matter what he thinks or feels, but for anyone who has gone through this it's very difficult to withdraw from someone you were with for 2.5 years. We are all human, and feel pain from betrayal. Just want to hear positive encouragement rather than judgmental criticism . I know that I deserve much more, but I am still stuck in the grieving period and my heart is hurting. Thanks

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this happened. You were smart to break up and go no contact. Also delete and block him from all messaging and social media. It's the only way to heal and move forward.

 

You told him what he needed to hear, now shut the door for good 2;6761602]I basically told him he was a lying piece of crap and he didn't deserve me.

[Havefaith2]

Thank you Wiseman2, I know its the right thing to do it's just a ty feeling and what he did to me is really incomprehensible.

[Palmerk8]

I'm sorry you're going through this. It is really hard but you are doing the right thing for you in the long run. I agree about blocking/deleting him from everything. Getting rid of all that temptation will help. It will get easier eventually, I promise. You know what they say, if you're going through hell, keep going.

[catfeeder]

I'd consider anything I learned to be confirmation that the breakup was the right thing for me. I'd make it my private goal to surprise everyone, including myself, with my resilience and ability to bounce back from someone who never deserved me in the first place. I'd gain strength rather than cave to giving a cheater one more moment of my focus.

 

Head high, you can do this.

[No1]

I remember when an X (then GF) cheated on my with my best friend. The love was destroyed and I didnt care to speak to her again.

 

Bad people do bad things and dont need a reason why they do what they do. He cheated on you because he has no morals. Not your fault, nothing you did or nothing you could do to prevent it. Are the reasons why he cheated the reason why you want to talk to him? You want to know why? Its okay to not have the answers. Just know that you were a great GF and any guy would be happy to be with you.. except for your X who is an idiot.

 

Now you have room in your life for someone better..

[Havefaith2]

I just feel stuck, I've been doing what I have to to move on but it's really hard. I do miss him, even thou he doesn't deserve me it still hurts and the pain is still there. I feel frustrated because after I told him that he didn't deserve me and that he was a lying piece of crap all he said was "ok bye". That was it, like I meant nothing for 2.5 years. He did apologize to me before I found out more about his secret life and why he chose to cheat. But I guess I just question if he is happy with the outcome, did I really not mean a thing, is he moved on so quickly? I think these are typical questions after a abrupt break up with no answers to all of this mess. I know that I was a great girlfriend to him, which is even harder to fathom as to why he would want anything more or someone else.

[Wiseman2]

That's because he's walking away like a dog with its tail between its legs.

after I told him that he didn't deserve me and that he was a lying piece of crap all he said was "ok bye".

]

[Havefaith2]

Can he really just walk away like that and not say anything else to me? He had two girls that I formed a relationship with as well. I guess it's also difficult because I am dealing with the loss of 3 relationships and not just one. Just seems al really unfair, i was good to him and his girls.

[Havefaith2]

Update, my ex reached out to me again after 3 weeks of no contact. He is begging for me back and saying he wants to come home. He wants to be a family with him and his girls and that he's sorry...He is reminiscing over our past memories and saying how he wants our life back...But he's still with the other girl. It makes no sense to me, I've been moving forward and the moment I start to feel "Ok" he reaches out. He's asking to meet up and talk, what should I do?

[catfeeder]

Update, my ex reached out to me again after 3 weeks of no contact. He is begging for me back and saying he wants to come home. He wants to be a family with him and his girls and that he's sorry...He is reminiscing over our past memories and saying how he wants our life back...But he's still with the other girl. It makes no sense to me, I've been moving forward and the moment I start to feel "Ok" he reaches out. He's asking to meet up and talk, what should I do?

 

He's still with the other girl? I wouldn't meet him or have any further conversation unless and until she's gone and he's fully done with her. Otherwise, he's just looking for the comforts of 'family' for his kids. That's not about you, it's about wanting it both ways: his new lover and you as his nanny.

 

Is that even something you'd consider?

 

I'd shut him down unless she's history. Period. And that's just a starting point.

[KMO7970]

They ALWAYS do that - reach out as soon as we start to feel ok! I agree with catfeeder. Don't meet up with him, or even really talk to him, until, at the very least, the other woman is out of the picture. Sure, he can "want your life back" and all that, but he could have thought about all of this when he strayed in the first place. I know the attention of him coming back like this can feel really good after what you've been through, but it's not worth it at this point in time.