How can I miss someone I wanted to break up with!?

[Rockchick26]

I don't understand what is happening. Me and my ex were together about a year, and for the majority of that time we were either on the verge of breaking up or we did break up temporarily. We have many issues as a couple and never were able to resolve them, even after countless arguments. We did have some great times though, so it wasn't entirely bad. But mostly it was one of us not being happy, it kinda alternated back and forth, although in the beginning he was the one with doubts and in the end I was the one with doubts.

 

The last straw for me came the week of Valentines Day, and without going into detail, I decided I had enough. I told him I think we are better off as friends, since we couldn't work through our issues and he even said in the past a few times we should just be friends. The other time we did that, it was only a few weeks before he said he didnt mean it and he never considered it a real breakup.

 

But now that I ended it, he said he's heartbroken and never wanted this to happen. I have to keep telling myself I wasn't happy and even though he said he was happy, his actions told me otherwise. It's been a week now, and I can't understand why I miss him so much already. Why do I miss him when I felt alone through most of our relationship and we fought so much and had dozens of near breakups? It isnt that I like drama, I was so stressed out I needed to take Xanax many times, and cried regularly. I wanted it to work out. I thought he was my soulmate when we first started dating, he thought so too. I just don't get it...we clearly weren't right for each other but then why is his heart broken and I'm sitting here a week later still crying cuz I miss him so much?

[blindfold]

You miss him because you were used to the routine of being in a relationship with this person. Trust me, the hardest bit is breaking that habit - after a while (it hasn't been nearly long enough for you), you'll start to not think about him and will start doing things your own way. Hang in there, keep no contact if it helps (it always does with me). He clearly wasn't right for you, that's what you have to keep in mind. The rest will fall into place.

[Rockchick26]

You miss him because you were used to the routine of being in a relationship with this person. Trust me, the hardest bit is breaking that habit - after a while (it hasn't been nearly long enough for you), you'll start to not think about him and will start doing things your own way. Hang in there, keep no contact if it helps (it always does with me). He clearly wasn't right for you, that's what you have to keep in mind. The rest will fall into place.

 

Our routine was more like a friendship though. We only saw each other maybe 3 or 4 hours every week and sometimes it was only every 2 weeks. We only talked on the phone maybe once a week for a few minutes. Sometimes we went days without even texting each other. We haven't had sex in 7 months. It really was more like a friendship. That is why (I thought) we decided to keep it as friends because that's pretty much what it was anyway minus the fact that we called ourselves a couple. Last night I texted him because it had been 6 days since he texted me, and I said "Still dont wanna talk?" and he said "I never said that. I'll hit you up when i get home." but he never did. But that's how he was when we were together too, half the time he never would get back to me after saying he would.

 

Ugh. I just want him back as my friend, I can deal without him being my boyfriend, like I said, he was barely that anyway.