Why do we always fight?

[emmalarae]

I always start fights because of what he doesn't do. He always play football and never hangs out with me. He is always Impatient and always tells me to hurry. He tells me to forget about fights because he doesn't care about them.

[journeynow]

Is it "always" or it it actually "sometimes"? If you fight because you don't like who he is, why not let him go and look for someone who is a better match?

[gebaird]

This is why you always fight:

I always start fights

 

If the relationship isn't meeting your needs, don't be afraid to walk away. Alternatively, you could refrain from starting these fights and just let him do his thing. The fighting doesn't seem to be solving anything.

[emmalarae]

Is it "always" or it it actually "sometimes"? If you fight because you don't like who he is, why not let him go and look for someone who is a better match?

 

It's always but I just can't let him go. He says he has been told he needs to step up a step and that is true. I just think he needs improvement on the ways he acts around me.

[SherrySher]

Maybe he just needs to learn to appreciate you and needs to start making efforts on his part.

You need to step back, stop asking for his time. Go do your own thing, don't chase. If he cares, he will wake up and start appreciating you and will ask you for your time. If he doesn't, then he was never truly interested in the first place.

Don't let yourself be treated badly. I know it's difficult when you care about someone, but you don't need to become their doormat or try to force them to care. He does need to step up but the only way to do that now is for you to back away and see if he is actually going to make the efforts.

[j.man]

It's always but I just can't let him go. He says he has been told he needs to step up a step and that is true. I just think he needs improvement on the ways he acts around me.

Frankly, he doesn't need to do anything about the way he acts around you.

 

He's responsible for his own needs, not yours. If yours aren't being fulfilled, stop nagging, dump him, and find a man whose needs are in line with your own.

 

You always fight because you've elected for the standard "pick a man and train him" strategy. It doesn't work.