I split with my partner because of trust issues

[Amandachris]

I am absolutely devastated . I have had the most amazing relationship with a man for the past five months and I began to miss trust him just recently so I ended it . There were no real reasons I just had this gut instinct that something wasn't right . Things like his phone constantly going mind you he is self-employed so I know he does get a lot of messages and phone calls . Booking trips with his friends and telling me after he has booked them. Going out on nights out and I don't hear from him till in the afternoon the day after yet most of the time we are never off the phone from each other texting and calls . I am now desperate to get back together with him. I'm not functioning at all I'm losing a serious amount of weight as I cannot eat I pharmacy quite easily but I'm awake all night long thinking about him and the things we have done .

We had booked holidays trips and birthday treats and have just spent the most amazing valentines together . I really feel I have made a horrendous mistake but he won't go back and I am in a mess . I think my friends are sick to the back teeth of hearing about it and I don't know where to turn . I gave him this weekend to think about things and rang him this morning and he hasn't answered and I know I shouldn't have rang him

[Matt3939]

Did you make your actions known during the relationship? Or did the dumping come out of the blue for him? Are you seeing anyone to try to address your insecurity?

[BeenThereB4]

Your relationship was very short. Five months is not a long time at all. I feel sad for you that you are allowing your health to be affected so negatively over someone you barely knew.

 

From what you've written, you drove this man away and it was a good thing for him to end the relationship. So what if he received a lot of calls and texts? As you said, he is self-employed. Why were you angry that he booked trips with friends before telling you? He barely knew you. Expecting him to get your approval before he made plans with friends was extremely controlling of you. It's not as if he didn't tell you at all, or tried to hide what he was doing. You were his brand new girlfriend, not his wife. You were really overstepping boundaries here.

 

You say that he texted and called you almost all the time, except for when he went out. There is nothing wrong with this. Did you really expect him to be glued to his phone, talking to you, 24/7? That is a really unreasonable attitude. So what if he didn't contact you until the afternoon after a night on the town. Maybe he wanted to sleep in or relax.

 

Unfortunately, you tried to control this man and were too clingy. The great thing is that this was an extremely short relationship that didn't take up much of your time. You have plenty of time to learn from your mistakes and treat the next guy with more respect.

 

I agree with Matt that seeing a professional about your insecurity will give you the confidence to have a better relationship in the future.

[Dahl]

Hello and welcome to the forum.

 

Even if he's interested in continuing this relationship, what will you do to prevent it winding up in the ditch again immediately?

 

S'a lot of drama and strife for five months. Are you in therapy / willing and able to seek professional help?

 

Good luck.

[HeartGoesOn]

I gave him this weekend to think about things and rang him this morning and he hasn't answered and I know I shouldn't have rang him

 

What was he supposed to think about after you had already dumped him?