tigermoth Posted February 26, 2017 Share Posted February 26, 2017 Hi All, I'm after opinions and thoughts on this topic. I am a single mom of 1 who has been 'seeing' a guy for the past 4 months. He is a single dad of 4 kids. I've looked extensively into introducing kids to new relationships and am having trouble finding the answer to my quite specific question. We haven't specifically discussed meeting the kids yet, however we have skated around the topic on numerous occasions. I am open to the idea but am also very very happy with the pace at which things are going. It's still early days and we have both come out of long term marriages where we were both hurt and we just want to take the time to know this is 100% right before blending things. I know it won't bother him to meet my child (and as our kids attend the same school it is inevitable anyway!). I love this man and have no hesitation about having him and his kids in my and my childs future, I am simply enjoying the quiet time we spend together in our own little bubble. He feels the same way. He mentioned the other day that his eldest (17yrs) is becoming suspicious. The kids aren't coping too well with their parents divorce (2 years ago) and their moms new relationship and he mentioned trying to balance not wanting to confuse them further but also knowing he is allowed to be happy also. My question is, what could be the possible consequences of not openly discussing 'us' with his child/teenager and the child finding out on its own what's going on? Breaking the childs trust would be a biggie (as has happened already with their mom), but what else? I'm trying to weigh this all up so that we can have a very logical kids conversation as I desperately don't want 5 even more confused kids if this relationship doesn't work out (which I have no intention of it not - but having children go through a broken family it is certainly something you think about). Also, as we are both 2 years from walking away from our past relationships (and still finalizing the legal stuff) I'm just not sure that either of us are 100% ready for a full on committed relationship - I want my life with this man but I just need it to stay slow and steady for now, and it's still early days. I feel like we should only be telling the kids once we're ready to be committed for the long haul. What are your thoughts? Link to comment
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