Should I stay or leave?

[chebell]

This post is going to be a long one so I appreciate everyone who reads it through and gives me some advice or hope since I've lost it all myself.

 

So, me (22) and my boyfriend (23) have been together for 1,5 years. We have had our ups and downs, have really good time together and our sex life is beyond amazing. We've travelled together, I've also met his family who loves me and treats me very well, give me presents and are so thankful for being in their son's life. He's an introvert and he said in the beginning of our relationship that he needs a lot alone time. He also lives alone. I try to give him as much freedom as he needs, we see each other 1-2 times a week, but never 2 days in a row, although we live like 3km away from each other. He can also go days without talking to me. Last 3 months have just been not so good. We have had a big argument once a month over silly things that he has caused. For example, he lied that he was home, but actually was in the club with his friends (including females). He said he didn't want to tell me the truth because I would be overdramatic and cause drama. Why he's saying that is because I'm quite a jealous person, but I let him have his female friends who he knew before he met me. I cry every time we argue and he says that he loves that I'm so emotional because that means I care about him more than anyone, but it's also hard because I tend to overreact to everything. I trully love him and I want to make him happy everyday, bringing him little presents etc. I've been by his side all this time when he has needed me - since his family lives in another state I was the only one there for him when he was in hospital; I was the only one to celebrate his birthday with him and all in all I've supported him in everything. And I can say the same about him, he has been there when I need him the most. That's why I'm so afraid to break up with him, because I know I wouldn't find anyone else who could replace him. I can say that he knows me better than my own family.

He has graduated uni, but hasn't worked at all in his life and gets his money from his parents. But he's an amateur music producer and plays in a band and I support his decision. I work full time and also go to uni. That's where our differences start.

 

Yesterday was his birthday and I had organised a surprise for him, something I've never done to anyone else. I actually took loan to make it happen, that's how much I want to make him happy. At first I brought him to the hotel with town's best view, rose petals on bed, candles, champagne, everything one could ask for. Then we went to the restaurant where his best friends and his brother were waiting for him. He was so happy to see them and his friends told him that it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't organised it and they thanked me, but I didn't hear a single "thank you" from my boyfriend. One of his friends asked him if this birthday meet-up is still happening the next day. I hadn't heard anyhing of this and confronted my boyfriend about it, he said that they are going out to celebrate his birthday the next day with his friends (including his friends' girlfriends). Then one of his friends said that I should come too, I've never gone out with his friends and thought that it would be a good idea to get to know them, but my boyfriend didn't say anything.

 

When we got back to the hotel room, he was very drunk and started acting weird. He randomly said that his life purpose is music and it will always be his priority. I asked him what about me and he said he doesn't see me as a priority. I was confused and he accused me of not understanding him. He went to sleep and he didn't even want to have sex. I was awake all night and cried because I felt so stupid for caring so much. In the morning he saw my cried eyes and asked what's wrong. I told him what he had said to me and he said he didn't remember anything and hugged and kissed me and apologized. I forgave him, but I was still crying. He had a massive hangover from last night and he couldn't deal with me. When we were leaving the hotel, I asked him about this meet-up they were gonna have and if I'm invited too. He said no, although his friend had invited me there last night. I ordered taxi to get us home. My place was before his, so as I was leaving the car I didn't say anything because I was so hurt, he could see that I was upset. It's been 8 hours and he hasn't contacted me since. He's going to have this birthday celebration with his friends tonight. I just feel so sad and left out and don't know what to do. I'm afraid I will be again the one to run after him and say sorry for being overdramatic.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately you sound much more invested in the relationship and attached than he is.

 

He told you the truth here, believe him: "He randomly said that his life purpose is music and it will always be his priority. I asked him what about me and he said he doesn't see me as a priority"