missyb33 Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 Hey..I cant talk about this with friends or family as they love my current boyfriend..so do I..we have been together for 7 years..but my ex..my first love..is often in the back of my head.He makes me feel a way only he can.He told me he wants to hang out that he misses me etc.I get butterflies thinking about it..but also guilt.I know he is no good for me.He uses drugs..no real morals..just different views..but he has this special place with me and I dont know what to do.Can I really hang out with him and be ok with it and have it not set me and my bf back? Why do I still love someone that is bad for me when I have an amazing guy? Blah.Please help! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mustlovedogs Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 You really can't hang out with him because it's emotional infidelity (IMO). Seeing him may make you realize he's a scumbag... but it's not worth the risk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 Have you been in touch the whole time? Bad boys give you butterflies but broken hearts and stds too. It sounds like you are bored with your bf and looking for excitement. Did the badboy ex just get dumped or is he looking to cheat on his gf for the thrill of it?He told me he wants to hang out that he misses me etc..I know he is no good for me .He uses drugs..no real morals.. Why do I still love someone that is bad for me when I have an amazing guy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Miracle Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 Have you been harboring these feelings for 7 years? why is he suddenly coming back around after all this time? What do you expect to achieve by meeting with him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missyb33 Posted February 25, 2017 Author Share Posted February 25, 2017 This is what I am wondering.I could see him and realize he is and always will be toxic.Thanks for you honesty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missyb33 Posted February 25, 2017 Author Share Posted February 25, 2017 We didn't talk for years.I don't know why he is around all of a sudden.He has never had a gf since me.It is so hard for me because I have never been able to heal from him.And as for being bored..I don't know if it is boredom..or the fact he wants to get narried soon and it scares me that I will never be able to love the way I did my first..I love my boyfriend and he is my best friend..I just can't let go of my ex emotionally Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dahl Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 Bad boys give you butterflies but broken hearts and stds too. The above quote is a winning tee-shirt waiting to happen. And sums up my thoughts, better than I would have. OP, I think you sound as though you are trying to do the right thing for everyone, and perhaps you are frustrated that you can't get your private, spontaneous thoughts to cooperate and behave as you wish. If so, I can entirely understand. Have you been able to find an outlet for this internal conflict with any one/thing (from professional intervention to capturing your ideas on paper in a journal or the like), at all, or have you had to deal with it exclusively on your own, since you feel uncomfortable running this by your usual support system, given your circumstances? I wish you luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randomer2000 Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 Sounds like he's that "bad Boy" That most girls crave for even if their in an emotionally stable relationship. All I can say is this guy is bad news and you should be happy with your current boyfriend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missyb33 Posted February 25, 2017 Author Share Posted February 25, 2017 Thank you everyone for your honest advice.I feel like if I don't see him..I will always wonder..and I think I owe it to myself to face him and get closure.Noone has ever hurt me like he did which means when he says he misses me it makes me feel great about myself.I have written about this often.I use to talk to friends and even boyfriend about it..as I have not done anything wrong..but I just feel guilty about possibily seeing my ex.It feels like I need to know how much I mean to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 It's your call, as long as you're prepared for the harsh reality of losing both of them. Also, keep in mind that "closure" comes from within, yet I'm sure you're already aware of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 The most important person to be honest with is yourself. Meeting up to see if the flame is still there is not "closure". Closure happened when you broke up...or should have. This is for your ego because he came back with some typical player flattery. You "feel guilty" because you are bored with your current bf and surely won't be announcing to him about this date and seeing if the hots are still there for the exbf. Are you hoping to line up the exbf before you dump the current bf or just have a fling? I think I owe it to myself to face him and get closure.I just feel guilty about possibily seeing my ex. It feels like I need to know how much I mean to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missyb33 Posted February 25, 2017 Author Share Posted February 25, 2017 I actually told my boyfriend aboutvthis.I do not hide anything as I have not done anything wrong.I get what you are saying though.It is more of an ego thing perhaps.I never got closure though..I mean..my ex told me he loved me and cried when he dumped me.I just always wonder what if.Which is my issue of having problems with letting go Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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