Panic attacks/anxiety has left me broken, depressed, and ashamed.

[Chuck041]

This week I experienced a panic attack out of the blue. I was at work, no one was around at the time but I knew I needed help. I went to grab my phone to call my coworker, but my hands were tingling, and the muscles contracted, causing my hands to be stuck in an odd contorted manner. Unable to call, I yelled out inbetween shallow, labored breaths. My coworker came along with a couple of nurses who work at our facility. I was ushered into a back room where I then became paralyzed, unable to catch my breath, unable to move my arms, waves of numbness and tingling sensations ran through my flushed face and out through my ears, my speech was slurred, and I tried to maintain my sanity as the room spun around me. After 15 minutes I regained the use of my hands, and my symptoms began to slowly dissolve. The nurses checked my vitals and insisted that I go to the ER because my blood pressure was incredibly high. So one of my coworkers drove me while I attempted to process what had just occurred.

I knew it was a panic attack, but why? There were no external stressors. My home life couldn't be better and I've been setting limits and cruising through work. Why?

The next day I returned to work. I was fine for a couple of hours before my hands began to tingle, I became pale and sweaty, and my head began to spin. I talked to my supervisor and then was assessed by a nurse who made me return to the ER because my blood pressure was once again dangerously high. I was dismissed again at the doctors office and sent home.

Yesterday, I had an appointment with my doctor who prescribed me some different meds, (I also have ADHD), and the reality that I might have a real issue anxiety became very real. My doctor wrote me a note excusing me from work until next Tuesday.

Today I woke up short of breath for the 4th day in a row. I fell asleep the night before curled up in a ball beside a unsympathetic wife that doesn't understand, crying, just asking why.

The stigma that society has created is one that anxiety and depression is just something one can just change. The terms panic attack and being depressed are tossed around on a daily basis, without people knowing what it's like to actually experience a panic attack, or experiencing crying yourself to sleep at night and then seeing no point to get out of bed in the morning. I was guilty of that. I thought it was something I could just minimalize and eventually it would go away. I judged people who called into work because they were having a panic attack, thinking how irresponsible that was. The truth is the last four days have been the worst I've ever experienced, and I wouldn't wish what I've been feeling on my worst enemy.

Right now I feel hopeless. I feel like my world has been turned upside down and everything I thought I knew was wrong. I can't look at myself in the mirror without feeling ashamed from what I'm experiencing. The thought of going back to work on Tuesday and having to look people in the eye makes me sick to my stomach. I don't want to be around anyone, what's the point? It's only going to refuel my anxiety. This seems insurmountable, despite the meds and my few friends that might potentially understand. I don't know what to do. At this point I've just given up...

[Hds2014]

Whenever I have a bad anxiety attack I feel totally out of it for a few days after, almost like a hangover. I also feel really Dissoriented and depressed during this time as well. Just hold out hope that the aftermath and overthinking feeling will pass. Try to ground yourself often. I hope things get better for you.

[Wiseman2]

I would get a full workup and a second opinion.

The nurses checked my vitals and insisted that I go to the ER because my blood pressure was incredibly high. I talked to my supervisor and then was assessed by a nurse who made me return to the ER because my blood pressure was once again dangerously high.

[reinventmyself]

I've had panic attacks and they are horrible. I am sorry.

My first one was while I was in the rice and pasta isle of the supermarket.

Long story short. . how did pasta cause my panic attack? Was it the change in my medication from months prior?

After some therapy I learned that panic attacks are from repressed issues you haven't dealt with straight on.

 

If you are any thing like I was I was really good at stuffing things and telling myself that certain actions

(at that time, my husbands) didn't hurt.

 

The psyche is a fascinating thing. The moral of this story is you either deal with things straight on - or they deal with you - in the form of health or mental issues, including panic attacks.

 

In case no one has suggested, (and if not, that would be unusual) find yourself a good therapist. This is fixable.

 

In those moments I have said I'd rather have open heart surgery wide awake then another panic attack.

I know how painful they are

[Iggy5129]

Don't just take meds, go to therapy. Is your home life actually good because you said your wife is unsympathetic? Also start exercising and eating healthier. Just taking medication alone will not help the cause of the problem.

 

Sometimes we take on stress that we don't realize and mentally we push it down so it comes out physically. Get into therapy and dig deep to find the cause of your anxiety. It takes time to improve. Don't be so hard on yourself.

[Loralora]

Take Xanax 0,5mg every 8hours (meaning 3 times a day)

 

Or better visit a psychiatrist they'll give you the best medication and dosage suitable for you. Xanax works for everyone though. At the same time go to therapy. You'll be fine...

 

Panic atacks are very common with the right medication you'll be fine...with time while going to therapy you'll decrease your dosage and even quit the medication all together when you're ready...

[RainyCoast]

but my hands were tingling, and the muscles contracted, causing my hands to be stuck in an odd contorted manner. Unable to call, I yelled out inbetween shallow, labored breaths. My coworker came along with a couple of nurses who work at our facility. I was ushered into a back room where I then became paralyzed, unable to catch my breath, unable to move my arms, waves of numbness and tingling sensations ran through my flushed face and out through my ears, my speech was slurred, and I tried to maintain my sanity as the room spun around me. After 15 minutes I regained the use of my hands, and my symptoms began to slowly dissolve. The nurses checked my vitals and insisted that I go to the ER because my blood pressure was incredibly high.

sweety that was not a panic attack, that sounds almost like you were about to have a tonic seizure. did you get an EEG as well? have a thorough medical checkup. check your inflammation markers too, make sure you don't have an occult infection, and double check whether it's your medication. if your CRP and sedimentation are elevated and it's been a while since your last dental scan, get one. mention any history of tick bites. will they check for blood clots?

 

there is nothing to feel so mortified about on monday. you had time off because you experienced a scary and potentially serious medical event. of course you panicked. people panic when a kidney stone gets stuck where it shouldn't, when they have pancreatitis pain, when they pee red, when they faint from extreme period cramps...you name it. if anything, people will kindly ask ask if you're feeling better.

 

do you take any substances, smoke weed, did you take a sleeping pill?

 

since you say you never understood people who complained of panic attacks, i am gathering you do not otherwise suffer from anxiety or other mental health problems, correct?

[Loralora]

Visit a neuropsychiatrist so you can get the proper diagnosis and the proper help, not your family doctor.

[randomer2000]

I think you need to take some medical tests as well as meet with a therapist to really talk your feelings through with. The worst thing you can do now is hide behind your feelings, let them be open and talk with your friends and family about it.

[RainyCoast]

Take Xanax 0,5mg every 8hours (meaning 3 times a day)

 

Or better visit a psychiatrist they'll give you the best medication and dosage suitable for you. Xanax works for everyone though. At the same time go to therapy. You'll be fine...

 

Panic atacks are very common with the right medication you'll be fine...with time while going to therapy you'll decrease your dosage and even quit the medication all together when you're ready...

 

i hope you are joking. why not just hand him a bag of your grandma's expired alzheimers meds as well while you're at it.

 

a doctor will prescribe whatever they see fit and instruct him on the dosage. no, not everyone can just pop xanax and benefit from it because someone on the internet told them so. an event with an obvious organic activity going on requires a doctor's attention. a family doctor does refer patients to specialists they see fit given a patient's symptoms.

[Wiseman2]

Agree. "Dangerously high blood pressure" whether it is static or situational can equally lead to a stoke or heart attack even in a young person.

 

A full medical workup, cardiac including a stress test, neurological including imaging and metabolic including thyroid studies is your best bet. Randomly popping something as addictive as benzodiazepines is never wise. You can't talk away "dangerously high blood pressure", however you could pop a brain artery with that.

a doctor will prescribe whatever they see fit and instruct him on the dosage. no, not everyone can just pop xanax and benefit from it because someone on the internet told them so. an event with an obvious organic activity going on requires a doctor's attention. a family doctor does refer patients to specialists they see fit given a patient's symptoms.

[RainyCoast]

Agree. "Dangerously high blood pressure" whether it is static or situational can equally lead to a stoke or heart attack even in a young person.

 

A full medical workup, cardiac including a stress test, neurological including imaging and metabolic including thyroid studies is your best bet. Randomly popping something as addictive as benzodiazepines is never wise. You can't talk away "dangerously high blood pressure", however you could pop a brain artery with that.

i had what op experiences happen to me, turned out it was due to a CNS infection that caused a secondary seizure disorder. it gave me several types of seizures, but this was by far the scariest, and exactly what OP describes. i don't know if he has the same thing, but he surely has something that demands professional attention. mine went away when they started treating the infection. there's still some bacterial count, but no longer causing anything like this. i was also told to stop taking the antidepressant that i was on at the time (tapering monitored by a doc) and that anything with anxiolytic or narcotic properties may contribute to such events, hence xanax may actually be counter-indicated, apart from the fact it should only be taken when actually prescribed anyway.

 

obviously, we can't tell what's actually going on with OP, and i noticed in his last thread he has depression on top of ADHD, so i understand the psychological part of it can easily be exaggerated, and the whole event written off as only in his head. unfortunately, contorting and rigid limbs, with the feeling the paralysis is about to spread to the chest, high blood pressure, these are all very much organic. the only way this is "in his head" is if there's literally something physically messing with it. i wouldn't dream of writing this off without an actual doctor to get to the bottom of it.

[Abby01]

I would get a full workup and a second opinion.

I agree. It might not just be high blood pressure. neurologist may be needed

[catfeeder]

my doctor who prescribed me some different meds, (I also have ADHD)

 

Your meds for the ADHA may be toxic to you, and it may take time for the stores of it to flush from your system. Ask the doc for a referral to a psychiatric MD and to share your records. The Psychiatrist may prescribe something other than what your regular doc prescribed and will monitor the effects. Ask the Psych MD for a referral to a talk therapist who will aid in that monitoring and help you manage the anxiety and the ADHD.

 

Address your thinking to avoid spinning yourself into a deeper hole. While panic attacks are scary as hell because they mimic heart attacks, it's the opposite of helpful to view them as a chronic 'forever' condition--especially when removing the med that may have caused the problem. So don't use your intelligence to work against yourself by adding shame and catastrophic thinking to the mix.

 

Also, you mention an 'unsympathetic' wife. How is your relationship with her? If you're in a lousy marriage, don't you believe that it could be a source of stress you haven't considered?

 

I'd skip worrying about how you're perceived, and I'd jump on board a healthy treatment train. I'd drink lots of water to flush out toxins, I'd use the Internet to find a list of hair, skin and laundry products to switch and rule out allergies, and I'd make it my private goal to surprise myself with my resilience and ability to bounce back from this with PROPER treatment without relying on the same doc who isn't helpful and may have prescribed the very medication that may have caused the problem in the first place.

 

Head high, you can do this.

[Loralora]

Nope not joking.

 

When I have stress anxiety do to a near exam I take xanax 0,2mg and sleep like a baby and wake up feeling fresh and rested for the exam.

 

Xanax (Alprazolam) is the best drug in these situations with the least chance of addiction. I only take it when i really need it, like once every 3 or 4 weeks or so.

 

But I'm not a neuropsychiatrist, better go to one, they'll find the best suitable medication and treatement for you.

 

P.S: The symptoms the op has expressed seem like a heavy case of conversion neurosis which is always managed by taking anxiolytics such as Xanax. In the meantime therapy must be started untill the patient getts better and slowly starts withdrawing from taking drugs such as Xanax.

But a neuropsychiatrist will give his last opinion.

 

I have experienced tremor and numbness in limbs do to heavy stress.

 

Google conversion neurosis and you'll understand the resemblance.

 

I wish you well..

[RainyCoast]

that's not what a conversion symptom is.

good thing randomers on the internet can't prescribe controlled substances.

[Loralora]

that's not what a conversion symptom is.

good thing randomers on the internet can't prescribe controlled substances.

 

If it was a CNS infection like you are suggesting he wouldn't be able to write or talk or communicate...if CNS infections are left untreated in a very short period of time they can leave you in a comma.

 

We don't need to debate and waste time like children who is right and who is wrong. I gave my opinion based on what I know. I suggested the op goes to a neuropsychiatrist and not to a family doctor and they'll take care of it. All the op needs to do is to go a specialist (neuropsychiatrist). The op should go private on his own if the family doctor doesn't reffer him.

[RainyCoast]

That is unbelievable. What way have you of knowing how long i have lived with a systemic infection and whether i could or not function? You can write and communicate for years with a CNS infection. Like i did, and thousands do. And work. And rear offspring. And travel. Get degree after degree, teach, welcome people into the world, and bury them. Sick as a dog and feeling like you are dying all the while. Worrying you won't make it until the next picc line. I didn't spend a decade as a toxicologist to hear it from gruesomly uninformed people, and i did not rely on my occupation, nor on uneducated steangers, when i needed a doctor. I went to a doctor. Who treated it. Who diagnosed it. Who referred me to specialists. Who prescribed medication.

It is one thing to share personal experience and thoughts,and urge him to seek medical assistance like posters did. It is another for you to "sell" absurdly incorrect information and "instruct" people to take controlled substances.

 

Op doesn't seem present. I assume that is because he is under medical supervision. Which is what a forum can't provide him. I see no need to continue answering to teens who could just as well open a book, or academic databases before "treating" people.

[Loralora]

That is unbelievable. What way have you of knowing how long i have lived with a systemic infection and whether i could or not function? You can write and communicate for years with a CNS infection. Like i did, and thousands do. And work. And rear offspring. And travel. Get degree after degree, teach, welcome people into the world, and bury them. Sick as a dog and feeling like you are dying all the while. Worrying you won't make it until the next picc line. I didn't spend a decade as a toxicologist to hear it from gruesomly uninformed people, and i did not rely on my occupation, nor on uneducated steangers, when i needed a doctor. I went to a doctor. Who treated it. Who diagnosed it. Who referred me to specialists. Who prescribed medication.

It is one thing to share personal experience and thoughts,and urge him to seek medical assistance like posters did. It is another for you to "sell" absurdly incorrect information and "instruct" people to take controlled substances.

 

Op doesn't seem present. I assume that is because he is under medical supervision. Which is what a forum can't provide him. I see no need to continue answering to teens who could just as well open a book, or academic databases before "treating" people.

 

I'm not a teen. I'm 27 years old, turning 28 in a couple of months and I am a medical student with a few exams left or I wouldn't bother trying to answer medical questions.

 

Look up CNS infection symtoms and tell me coma isn't one of them..it comes fast if left untreated, I suppose you started treating it on time..and managed it through time.

I was refering to cases that don't know they have the infection and neglet treatement that quickly getts bad and has many complications such as comma.

 

Look at this link:

 

 

Anyway thanks for your compliments..

[RainyCoast]

i know how long i had it for. i know how long clients may have it for. hope you'll continue to study. long and hard. lol. i don't have to look anything up, i did that before they let me coordinate microbiology lol. and knew what encephalitis was long before. most forum members aren't illiterate buffoons either, and share informed opinions. yet somehow, the rest of us still don't think we're fit to (mis)diagnose or instruct people to take meds an actual doctor hasn't prescribed. noone on this forum can diagnose or treat, and a forum doesn't replace actual medical attention. nobody cares how many more times you have to flunk before you call yourself a doctor, you still can't diagnose and prescribe on a forum, or instruct people to take benzos. how is that so difficult to understand.

unfathomable.

 

OP, you planning on updating us? If not, perhaps this thread has started to serve purposes other than sharing thoughts and directing posters with medical questions to actual doctors. I hope you heal well, and that your anxiety lessens.

[Loralora]

You don't know if I misdiagnosed the op's condition or not the op hasn't updated us yet.

 

I know I can't formally diagnose or prescribe untill I finish medical school, but that doesn't mean that I can't give my medical advice based on what I know and learned so far.

I never said a forum replaces actual medical attention that's why I advised the op to go to the neuropsychiatrist. Allthough just because I haven't finished yet and am not yet a doctor that doesn't mean that I can't be right on my diagnosis and prescription.

 

There are many good and qualified doctors that might misdiagnose, it happens no body is all knowing or God. Even the best doctors can be wrong sometimes.

 

Actually I am not a flunking medical student, I am a very good one. I have 4 exams left and I study most of the day and on my free times I sometimes log in this forum, and I am especially interested to see the medical cases and issues people present and see if I can help and see if I diagnose rightfully for my own benefit. I am very interested to get a follow up on everyone's condition after they have visited the doctor.

 

If I made any spelling mistakes that's because I am not an American and I don't live in the US.

[Seraphim]

It's an international forum so not everybody here is American. Lots of people from all over.

[Loralora]

I was just explaning why I might have spelling errors.

 

P.S. I forgot to mention I actually aced my neuropsychiatry exam the first time I took it. So I am very very curious to know what the op will tell us about his diagnosis.

 

Also I forgot to mention people that get treated for conversion neurosis usually get treated for depression at the same time with antidepressants.

[Seraphim]

Remember the need to constantly be right or prove yourself right just for that sake doesn't win a lot of favour.

[Loralora]

Remember the need to constantly be right or prove yourself right just for that sake doesn't win a lot of favour.

 

You're right....with some people you can never win and it's not even worth it.

 

But I have sacrificed a lot to be where I am, for people who don't even know me or my success history to tell me I am a flunk.

 

Everyone is entitled to their opinion especially me who's life revolves around medical themes, but I can't educate the whole world I can only educate and control myself..

 

I don't go around telling people I don't even know that they can't do their job especially when I am not even 10% sure that they can't.

 

Ow well it is what it is...lets just hope the op got the help he needs and deserves at the right time..

 

I am just glad that not everyone is this unappreciative for a soon to be doctor's opinion, because it would sure suck sacrificing so much to get into med school, get through it and then finish it and never get appreciated or thanked by all the things doctors actually do for the population.

 

Med school never getts easy, you just get used to it. And the life of a doctor is a very hard one, but nobody actually understands without going down that road themselves.