Hds2014 Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 Hey guys, I've recently started NC and I've seen a common theme on this site is the increasing guilt some of us feel as the dumpee as time goes on. I find myself falling into this mindset from time to time during my healing process. What are your thoughts on leaving reconciliation totally up to the dumper? I know rationally I should be able to understand that this is what NEEDS to happen for it to ever be sincere and for there to be any potential from there on out but the longer I focus on my own self and changing for the better, the more I start to feel a sting of guilt and anxiety for doing what I'm doing. Maybe I'm so obsessed with the idea of "fate" or "soulmates" that I just don't want to do something that could screw up my path. (Not reaching out, feeling like maybe NC is hurting them, etc) It's also upsetting to still care so much about how the ex feels when I shouldn't. Do you guys believe that if reconciliation is really what the dumper wants, they will contact you and put in the work no matter what? I just feel as though some of us have such stubborn exes that we feel even if there is a chance, they may not contact us at all due to embarrassment, fear, etc... I guess overall I'd like some tips on how to stay focused on myself but to also have some faith that things will work out how they're supposed to as long as I'm doing good. I know by the looks of this my head isn't in the right place but I'm stuck in a rut today. Link to comment
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