Wife thought I shaved body hair I never had, is she cheating

[dnantz]

I had my shirt off this morning and my wife of 23 years asked why I shaved my shoulder hair. I have never had body hair from birth on shoulders, back. I shared this with my sister and she thinks she is having affair with a man that has shoulder hair and just mistaken the 2 of us. Any thoughts.

[Almira23]

Reading your previous post, since she has cheated on you in the past, I wouldn't be surprised if she is trying to find ways to accuse you of the same.

No one here can tell you if she is cheating on you with another man. If you both do not trust each other, why are you together? why haven't you taken advantage of counseling?

[tattoobunnie]

Um, I think that's a far stretch from what she was asking?

 

When my husband once shaved as a teenager after months of dating, it took until I touched his face to realize he had shaved it off. And I'm considerd beyond observant and detail-oriented. It's just when it comes to weight and facial hair, totally blows over my head.

 

Have you been cheating on her? Are things not right lately? Does something feel off?

[dnantz]

I did forgive her for an emotional affair and had moved past it. I then , recently discovered that she hung out with an old friend at the beach and at a bar and her girlfriend told me that she had her hands all over this guy. She denied it and then I found the pictures of them with her hands all over him and then she still denied it.So that brought up old trust issues. I just thought it weird that she thought I shaved off body hair I have never had.

[Dahl]

I had my shirt off this morning and my wife of 23 years asked why I shaved my shoulder hair. I have never had body hair from birth on shoulders, back. I shared this with my sister and she thinks she is having affair with a man that has shoulder hair and just mistaken the 2 of us. Any thoughts.

 

I keep my skepticism bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as a general rule, but this didn't strike me as necessarily incriminating.

 

Could she be hinting (not suggesting this, just offering an example of another avenue you could consider) that she wants you to do some manscaping? Or something similarly innocuous? How is your communication, in general?

[dnantz]

Not cheating on her. Just thought it odd!

[dnantz]

Ok, I was just skeptical and I already manscape and have for years.

[Wiseman2]

Wait? The fb woman has shoulder hair?

My wife got a new best friend on Facebook (woman) and fell in love with her. That friend was having an online affair with a man and also got my wife to do the same with same man.

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[Dahl]

I could not fault you for being skeptical.

 

Did you ask her to clarify this misunderstanding, and if so, what did she say?

[dnantz]

No, but funny , this would be a guy. That was a different affair. She had that and an cyber affair with a man as well.

[Dahl]

Sorry to hear that. Are you confident it's best to continue this relationship? I appreciate the longevity, but are you happy / fulfilled?

[vanity]

maybe she is cheating.

but if you havent seen any signs of cheating do not stir up something that just could have been a mistake.

what if she was thinking of someone else and didnt mean to say that so you? even though she shouldnt think of anyone else while layong next to you.

whats was her response when you approached the situation ?

[dnantz]

I did question her and she said she thought I had hair on my shoulders.

[Scoe141]

Have you two been to a counselor? (Especially due to previous events.)

[Wiseman2]

How bad are we talking about here?

I did question her and she said she thought I had hair on my shoulders.

]

[Dahl]

Hrm. That explanation makes my brows quirk more than her initial inexplicable query.

 

Did you respond to this excuse and if so, do you recall her follow-up?

[tattoobunnie]

Also, I once ask my husband if he trimmed his nether regions one day last year. And I've known him since he was 16. And no, he has never trimmed. We are 38 btw.

 

God, I sound dense.

 

But either way, I've never cheated on him emotionally, physically, financially, or even with flirting. If it takes one comment about whether you trimmed or not to really send you questioning, it's time to either hash it out, get couples counseling, or pack it up, and call it a day on this marriage, because she definitely is not cherishing you.

[Wolfshook]

Have you never seen somebody you see every day and notice something you've never noticed on them?

 

There are things we dont pay attention to,and then something draws our attention to it and we wonder.

 

So I wouldnt worry directly about that,but your past with her seems awful.

[randomer2000]

I mean I agree that it is somewhat skeptical, but do you not think that it is a little far fetched as well? Not saying that it couldn't be true, but its just odd to jump to conclusions immediately.

[Matt3939]

I got the whole hair thing twice. I always trimmed my privates. I couldn't see how a woman would want to go near something not kept up. It's actually my last 2 relationships. One I think she was actually used to hairy guys (that i am) she didn't complain just was surprised that I took care of it. The other was a problem. It wasn't an issue before the insecurity came to be. She told me to never shave trim down there. I said I have forever. Well I did stop. She thought I only did it cause I was with others. Almost laughable I did it for her and me oh well. So it might mean nothing or it might who knows.

[SherrySher]

Senile?

I mean, if she's remembering hair that never existed, who knows. But I agree with you OP it is weird. 23 years is a long time and for her to all of a sudden not recall.

I would say it's weird but not necessarily malicious.

Bit insulting too..I don't think I'd like it if someone recalled something about me that wasn't even the case. But I wouldn't put it down to cheating.

[dancinggirl67]

Hmmm. Is it not strange that the woman you have been married to for 23 whole years would not know that you did not have shoulder hair? I know where every mole and every birthmark and every bit of hair is on my boyfriend's body and that is after 4 years!

 

Yes, of course it is possible your wife is having an affair and confused you and her lover.

 

But... you do not know for sure.

 

Why do you assume this of your wife? Do you trust her? And have you seen OTHER signs in addition to this comment? One sign alone rarely points to an affair. It is a series of actions and things that do not add up consistently. So, for there to be something going on, you would be needing to see not only other signs or "red flags" but you would be seeing them consistently. Perhaps not every day but they would be repeating themselves, causing you to question what is happening. Do not discount your gut instinct either. This is very valuable. So, if you feel something is not right and you see other signs, then you should investigate further. Keep quiet and keep watch.

 

If you actually mention it to her and she IS cheating, she will only deny it and continue doing it, trying to hide things better.

 

I am wondering how your sister jumped to that conclusion? I would like to say it could have been an innocent statement but I don't think it is. Unless you are your wife have not been having sex for years or sleep in separate beds or never see each other naked, I cannot wrap my mind around why she would say such a thing.

 

Wait and see is all you can do. You cannot hang her on that one statement. But what it does is arouse your suspicion to keep watching her. Time will tell. If somebody is cheating, the truth will always come out because they all slip up eventually once they get too confident.

 

Good luck.