Infatuation

[Matto85]

Anybody else been in this situation? So I started talking to this girl I met on FB around Christmas and after a few days of talking I noticed how very much attached she was becoming and clingy, which I don't mind clingy except we haven't met in person yet, and this may make me sound like a jerk but if she's that clingy to a person she hasn't even met that might be a tell-all of her personality. So I kept us at a distance a little bit as to not lead her on too hard, but we still did text. By the time I set up a date I think she was convinced I wasn't all that interested. It turns out she was really cool and chill and I had a fsntastic time and since then I can't stop thinking about her, I've become totally infatuated. The thing is I may have texted my way into the friend zone, which is admittedly smart on her part because in her perspective I may be a waste of her time and I can't blame her for thinking that. I don't wanna make any promises I can't keep but I'm too infatuated to descend into the friend zone, which wouldn't be hard since we can't spend every day together. Am I being reasonable? Or am I being selfish in which case I should I just let her go?

[junebug123]

I think you are over analyzing the situation. It's more of a simple push pull dynamic.

 

Where she showed more interest in you in the beginning and then when you receprocated that interested she started to pull away.

 

I mean it sucks when that happens, but it happens and some people are like that. Sometimes you find people who don't pull away, it's more about them and not about you.

 

There's no need to beat yourself about this. Something that helped me once was listening to this guy talk about relationships. He explained that he imagined the relationship didn't exist until the person contacted him again.

 

I find that helps me to stay active in my life and not stress about others. Well, good luck and I hope it works out.

[Wiseman2]

Excellent. Now stop the textathons and focus on in person dates. Don't become a male-girlfriend by chatting constantly. Talk about meeting up for the next date.

By the time I set up a date I think she was convinced I wasn't all that interested. It turns out she was really cool and chill and I had a fsntastic time and since then I can't stop thinking about her, I've become totally infatuated.

[Matto85]

Excellent. Now stop the textathons and focus on in person dates. Don't become a male-girlfriend by chatting constantly. Talk about meeting up for the next date.

 

Yea I'm afraid that might've happened already. Not only did she seem to thwart my suggestions on going out but it seems the tone has shifted to a more of a friend vibe. Plus I get the feeling she's talking to other people.

[Matto85]

Which is ok because in writing this last night I figured out that I'm probably being selfish. I'm infatuated and I'm thinking about what I want in the here and now. I think it'll wear off regardless of what happens. If I'd been talking to her his long and I can't see her in my life beyond casual dating the best thing to do is not pursue it right?