60 Days NC - in limbo

[newtothegame98]

This is my first post ever, after having read many a posts on this site.

 

My ex-girlfriend and I have been broken up for about 4 months. She broke up with me. She called me after a night where I really blew it. Long story short- it was one of our first fights. Hunny-moon phase type. She calls me the next day, ends things. At first, I agreed that we should go our seperate ways . I wanted to see her, but agreed we shouldn't date. She told me she still had feelings for me, yet seeing me would be too hard. We almost met up 2 months ago, but she said she still had reservations. We continued to text. This is what confuses me, although I understand. Through this time she had told me that she still likes me. After this, she told me things along the lines of "Enjoy the rest of your life" "I never want to see you again". Having never really fought with her, I just sort of was like 'damn okay'. It seemed a bit exteme, but I understand people heal in different ways. In hindsight, I realize she may not have meant it that harsh. But, I understand.

 

After this, I became upset. I asked her why she didn't want to see me, etc. She then told me that she didn't want to talk. I agreed. I began NC. I removed her from social media, etc.

 

The worst part about this is that we attend the same college. I see her...a lot. When passing, she will look me dead in the eyes & then just look down. I agree that we shouldn't be dating, but I would at least like to be on speaking terms. Or just to say 'hey'.

 

Well, about a week or two ago my buddy and I are at a bar. Immediately I notice that she's there. However, I ignore it, stay far away and proceed to the bar. I kept my distance, and my buddy can atest to this. It's semi-crowded, but not packed. My buddy and I are a shoulder's-length apart waiting for drinks at the bar. Then out of the blue- my ex squezzes her way in between us to order a drink? I found this a bit odd. At first I wondered if I should even say anything? Then I realized that she maybe doesn't even recognize me. At first I was in shock, undoubtedly. As there are mirrors in this bar, I wondered if she actually knew it was ME standing next to her. Of course she knew. Not only that- she knows my best friend very well too (he lives with me). So as I stand there in shock, with my ex literally rubbing shoulders with me- I decide to nut-up & say 'hey'. Of course, she acted surprised, then says 'hey' to my roomate, etc. I found this encounter very awkward. Our convo was very light-hearted and we shared a few laughs. But ultimately proceeded with our nights like mature adults.

 

I have begun the healing process and have been going on dates, hanging with friends more, etc.

 

Honestly. NC has been hard, and I know I must continue. I do keep running into her, as the college I attend is rather small. I do miss her, but understand that she doesn't miss me. I realize that trying to read a person never works. Just wanted your thoughts on the situation. I hope we could reconcile one day, but thats even looking less and less likely.

 

Cheers

[SooSad33]

I suggest you remain on the path of accepting and healing.

Pay no attention to what she's doing or why.

 

I feel she chose to no longer communicate so she can do the same- work on healing.

 

You both acted respectfully towards each other when you saw each other, good. Cause you don't want to do something you'll end up regretting.

 

And best way to get over someone is.. 'less the better'.

 

Is never easy to work on a broken relationship.. takes time to accept & heal. And maybe.. someday you two can 'talk' again.. when all of this is in the past and no more feelings are involved.

 

You've begun dating again? Up to you... but don't try n use women.. to get over her. Not fair to them and can also mess you up more, as well.

[junebug123]

She doesn't want to be with you. If she wanted to be with you she can just pick up the phone at any time, call you and say I want to get back together with you.

 

She's doing what most women do when they have power over a man. She's being an attention $&@#* , she likes the fact that you look at her and think about her so she does it on purpose.

 

The fact that she knows what she is doing and that she knows that you have feelings for her still, shows what kind of character she is. I would stay away, and date others.

 

If she tries to get back into your life, just say no thank you. She will most likely repeat this type of behavior as a form of validation.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this. What was the breakup about? Sounds like a lot of anger and games on her part. Like she's got her posse telling her to be witchy to ward you off or something.

 

Yeah, ignore her and most of all, make sure you are always seen smiling, talking to others, enjoying, etc. for your own sake and to move on. The side effect is 'done with your games, moving on".

[newtothegame98]

I suggest you remain on the path of accepting and healing.

Pay no attention to what she's doing or why.

 

I feel she chose to no longer communicate so she can do the same- work on healing.

 

You both acted respectfully towards each other when you saw each other, good. Cause you don't want to do something you'll end up regretting.

 

And best way to get over someone is.. 'less the better'.

 

Is never easy to work on a broken relationship.. takes time to accept & heal. And maybe.. someday you two can 'talk' again.. when all of this is in the past and no more feelings are involved.

 

You've begun dating again? Up to you... but don't try n use women.. to get over her. Not fair to them and can also mess you up more, as well.

 

Thank you for your response! I agree with your point about dating again. I don't want to find a girl just to fill a void. I should give myself time to heal. Work on the habits I've been working. Just work on me, basically

 

cheers

[newtothegame98]

She doesn't want to be with you. If she wanted to be with you she can just pick up the phone at any time, call you and say I want to get back together with you.

 

She's doing what most women do when they have power over a man. She's being an attention $&@#* , she likes the fact that you look at her and think about her so she does it on purpose.

 

The fact that she knows what she is doing and that she knows that you have feelings for her still, shows what kind of character she is. I would stay away, and date others.

 

If she tries to get back into your life, just say no thank you. She will most likely repeat this type of behavior as a form of validation.

 

Your first paragraph--YES. That has been the only reason I've gotten through these 60 days. The ball is in her court.

 

I do believe she knows what she's doing to some degree. Coincidentally "bumping" into me. I've noticed her friends giving me stares as well.

 

But, I've been putting on a good face and have tried to act cordial through it. I don't believe she'll try and contact me though. For one reason or another, I think this is just an easier way for maybe both of us to cope? Anyway thanks for the feedback

 

 

Cheers

[newtothegame98]

Sorry to hear this. What was the breakup about? Sounds like a lot of anger and games on her part. Like she's got her posse telling her to be witchy to ward you off or something.

 

Yeah, ignore her and most of all, make sure you are always seen smiling, talking to others, enjoying, etc. for your own sake and to move on. The side effect is 'done with your games, moving on".

 

Hey thanks for the reply!

 

She ended things after I was disrespectful towards her guy friends. Admittedly, that's my fault. Bigger picture: she just wasnt that into me. I foolishly got jealous, of course.

 

However I did genuinely enjoy our time and sort feel like I blew it. But she's been in longer relationships. I feel like this hasn't been that hard on her. She seems like someone who is very confident with herself. I understand that.

 

And yes! The times I have run into her I have been genuinely happy, with friends.

 

Cheers!