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feelings for someone I don't know...


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Hello. I’ve actually never shared anything on forums before. I don’t know if that was the best solution though. I feel like I can’t talk about this subject to anybody. I’m constantly just running with this idea alone. Just to start, I’m a 16 year old teenage girl that has never had any relationships before.


So all of this started at the beginning of the year. This guy came to my friend and I, asking us if we could lend our phone. The first time I saw him I didn’t feel any feelings or attraction for him. A few time after, I noticed he went to the same school as I did. After watching him a multiple times discreetly, I’ve started having like “feelings” for him. From this day I’m feeling something really special for him but I couldn’t describe it. Actually I think I’m attracted to his style (the way he dresses up) and the fact that he looks really mysterious. I’ve not actually seen his face close. Weeks passed and I had to go to the cinema with my class to watch a play of Romeo and Juliet. He was also there. I watched him during the projection. I felt like I was in a movie. I don’t think he knows I exist. He’s probably never seen me. Whereas I’m always thinking about him. I found his name on FB. But all of this is so painful. He probably has a girlfriend and he’s like 2 years older than me. Since that I often want to cry. I don’t know how to deal with that. Every time I see him I wish he wasn’t here.

I know all of this is stupid and I shouldn’t pay that much attention to a guy I don’t know, but I don’t know what to do.


What should I do ?

Thank you

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It's ok to have a crush on a guy. If you want to be friends with him just start smiling, be approachable, friendly, say hi at school when you see him, etc. Learn now not to be shy.

I’m a 16 year old teenage girl. From this day I’m feeling something really special for him but I couldn’t describe it. I felt like I was in a movie.
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The problem with crushes is that a large part of who you think they are, are a figment of your imagination. They are like an empty vessel that you get to fill with all kinds of fantasies. However, continuing to fixate on him may prevent you from appreciating decent people right under your nose as it is impossible to compete with the fantasy you have built. The solution is to try to focus on other things and meet new people. Try to make your real life as fulfilling as possible so that you don't feel the urge of escaping to fantasy land.

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What you have is a good old crush on this boy. Totally normal for a girl of 16. If you want to get to know him smile at him when you see him. Eventually say hi to him. If you get a chance for some small talk, do it. Find out his interests. Nothing ventured, nothing gained!


The problem with crushes is we develop imagined qualities in the other person that may or may not exist. We build them up in our minds to be a certain way and then are shocked or disappointed to find out we had it wrong the whole time!

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Enjoy the time in life that you can see someone and idealize that person without ever knowing what they are really like. As you said, like being in a movie. Because soon you'll find reality by starting to date people, going through the drama and misadventures of that ..... until a very few years from now you'll see someone attractive to you and your first thought will be - "Wow, looks good. But I wonder what is wrong with them and could I put up with whatever that is."

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