sallymae19 Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 Just over 2 months ago I started dating a guy, he initiated it and in the first two weeks we went on several dates. He was super interested, messaged me in the morning and all throughout the day and at night. When we'd see eachother we always arranged the next time we'd see eachother. Now he doesn't text as much, the last week hardly at all. I don't expect 24/7 contact I know it's not healthy but he's making no effort and I can't remember the last time he messaged me first. I spent the night with him and he reassured me he cares about me and I've got nothing to worry about and that he could fall in love with me one day, yet when he dropped me off at home the next day he didn't made plans to see me again. He's had a stressful event happen this week, and he didn't message me for over a day, I could see he was online on and off the whole time yet completely ignored me making me think it was over. I've had bad relationships in the past where men have just vanished on me, and I have massive abandonment issues, but am I overreacting or is he losing interest? He doesn't seem the same as he did in the beginning yet reassures me I have nothing to worry about. He met my parents, but hasn't said anything about me meeting his. Is he too scared to bring it up to my face so says what I want to hear but is slowly phasing me out?! He struggles to open up in general and I don't want to keep pushing him because I don't want to scare him off. Please help I feel like I'm going crazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SherrySher Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 It sounds as though he lost interest. He had the chase, then you got into bed with him very quickly, now there is no mystery left so he's gotten bored. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SooSad33 Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 Never feel a relationship needs to be 'forced'. Yes, is up to them at that end to 'show interest' as well and 'give'. Sounds like he's just fading- not trying. Then drop it all.. walk. Don't cause an issue.. respectfully walk away. Not a whole lot evolved in just 2 months... not even grounding. So- work on accepting and realizing he's just not into it. Let go.. and in time you may find someone who IS as interested as you are. Sadly, not all are. So- go in with not-so-high expectations.. and give it time. Either it builds.. or dies out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 Don't enter a dating situation if you need to "be reassured" that they won't ghost. It means you are allowing it to go too fast too much too soon and getting over-attached and over-invested. Dating, especially only a few weeks, is to get to know each other. It's not a time to bring drama like "abandonment issues" and other such baggage into the situation. There's only so much reassuring anyone can do when you don't do your work and deal with your issues first. Texting all day is not dating or a relationship. Relax and don't be so clingy that you push him away. Lay back, pull your self-respect and confidence together and wait for him to text.2 months ago I started dating a guy. Now he doesn't text as much, the last week hardly at all. I spent the night with him and he reassured me. I've had bad relationships in the past where men have just vanished on me and I have massive abandonment issues,He doesn't seem the same as he did in the beginning yet reassures me I have nothing to worry about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sallymae19 Posted February 23, 2017 Author Share Posted February 23, 2017 When I say I spent the night, it wasn't the first time, we've spent serveral nights together. So I don't think it's a case of we slept together and that's it he's got what he wanted because we started sleeping together after 2 weeks (oops) so I don't know if it's that, it's just confusing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sallymae19 Posted February 23, 2017 Author Share Posted February 23, 2017 He says he sees a future with me and he wouldn't find someone like me again, and I know words are easily said but not necessarily meant but he's genuinely a good guy, he crashed his car and says that's why he's being quiet, but I just feel like he's gone suspiciously quiet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sallymae19 Posted February 23, 2017 Author Share Posted February 23, 2017 Thank you, I'm gonna lay off and not be so clingy. I guess whatever happens then will show how he feels about me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 Ok. Do this. Stand up, go to a mirror and say this out loud: "It's not all about me all the time!". Let other people live and breathe without you needing constant attention and reassurances.he crashed his car and says that's why he's being quiet, but I just feel like he's gone suspiciously quiet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sallymae19 Posted February 23, 2017 Author Share Posted February 23, 2017 Haha when you put it like that I feel kindddd of stupid and insensitive.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randomer2000 Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 He might be losing interest yes, but you seem to be thinking way too far ahead as well. He crashed his car, that definitely takes a toll on a man. It doesn't have to be about you 24/7. Don't overthink simple situations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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