Girlfriend builds emotional barriers

[Ndmt]

Alright, this is my first ever post on here. Just want some advice on what is happening. Basically, my girlfriend is being distant with me, and she mentioned she is just trying to protect her heart. When we hang out in school, she just gives me cold shoulder for no apparent reason, and I just feel neglected. I'm just wondering if I should play hard to get, or is there anything else I can do.

 

P.S. Yesterday I learned about women's tests and how failing them affects their attraction towards you. I wonder if I can do something about that as well.

 

Thanks for all the help in advance

[gebaird]

I'm just wondering if I should play hard to get

 

No. Playing games could easily backfire. Instead, make an effort to understand why she is doing this. Is there abuse in her past? Is she highly sensitive? Does she have a good relationship with her parents or a bad one? Is something you are doing making the problem worse?

 

Read the book "The Five Love Languages." It may help you understand the ways she and you give and receive love. Disconnects in this area can lead to serious relationship issues.

[Ndmt]

No. Playing games could easily backfire. Instead, make an effort to understand why she is doing this. Is there abuse in her past? Is she highly sensitive? Does she have a good relationship with her parents or a bad one? Is something you are doing making the problem worse?

 

Read the book "The Five Love Languages." It may help you understand the ways she and you give and receive love. Disconnects in this area can lead to serious relationship issues.

 

She was never abused in the past. Up until recently, she was all about me and I was all about her. But now it feels like I give everything and get nothing in return. Now she just seems uninterested in me. She isn't all that sensetive, and her relationship with parents is pretty good. I just want to know what's the best thing I can do.

[MissCanuck]

She doesn't sound like she is really ready to be in a relationship, OP.

 

If she seems uninterested, well...she probably is losing interest. I would ask her if she wants to continue this. This isn't about some silly "test" she's putting you through, unless she is totally immature. It just appears as though she is pulling out of your relationship.

 

Don't pull back and play hard-to-get. A healthy relationship doesn't involve such games. Have an honest conversation with her and find out what has triggered this change in behaviour.

 

How old are you both?

[Wiseman2]

Agree. Skip the PUA games. Instead ask her what's going on. How long are you dating? Maybe she's on the rebound or doesn't want sex or too much too soon. However why is she "giving you the cold shoulder" at school? How is she when you are on dates?

my girlfriend is being distant with me, and she mentioned she is just trying to protect her heart. When we hang out in school, she just gives me cold shoulder for no apparent reason.

[Ndmt]

Sorry for such a long reply. We are both 18. Recently she has got new friends and has been spending a lot of time with them outside of school, yet she doesn't make plans for me. She even lied to her parents to go to the beach with them, but she doesn't make plans for me. We had something happen between us, (sexual mishap) and she said she needed time for reflection because we were reckless. Anyways, she has been spending odd amount of time with her other friends, who are mainly guys. So I don't really know what to do in this situation either. Any advice?

[Ndmt]

It just seems like I care more about the relationship than she does. Should I just stop putting in effort? Should I just move on emotionally before I get hurt?