Lasteyed Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 I've been talking to this girl for almost a week and we already met and we have been talking a lot she talks to me and she told everything almost everything about her and seems like she's interested but today out of nowhere she said she's not ready for dating and wants to take it slow but we are still meeting this week so I'm really confused like what to do (btw I already told her that I get it you wanna take this slow)
gebaird Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 Is she coming out of a bad relationship? Has she been hurt in the past? I'd still meet up, but be open to possibilities. It may just be her anxiety talking and things could turn out just fine.
Person1001 Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 I've been talking to this girl for almost a week and we already met and we have been talking a lot she talks to me and she told everything almost everything about her and seems like she's interested but today out of nowhere she said she's not ready for dating and wants to take it slow but we are still meeting this week so I'm really confused like what to do (btw I already told her that I get it you wanna take this slow) Be very careful, I have been in that situation, but because he showed interest, I continued dating him. After putting in a month, getting a bit invested, he told me he wasn't ready and I didn't hear from him for 3 months. Go out w/her, but keep your options open and do not jump into anything too fast.
Lasteyed Posted February 22, 2017 Author Posted February 22, 2017 Quick little note she said she's not ready for dating and doesn't wanna rush into things my bad for wrong information
J Miracle Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 She's not ready for dating, however Shes dating you..? This sounds like that zone. We all know that zone. That dreaded friend zone. Tread cautiously.
lostlove76 Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 Hi. I'm a woman, and I've given this line before, so I wanted to offer some possibilities for what it might mean. When I've said it, it's meant one of the following: 1) My mind and heart was still with someone else, either because I was heartbroken that things had ended and I wasn't yet over it, or I was wanting to be with him but he wouldn't commit so I felt I needed to look elsewhere 2) I liked the guy as a friend, and wanted to like him as more, but wasn't quite feeling it. Didn't want to hurt his feelings, so "not ready for dating" seemed the kindest and simplest thing to say 3) Didn't know the guy well enough, was experiencing some anxiety about opening up and giving it a chance, afraid we wouldn't like each other, so kept him at arm's length I would be wary if I were you, and try not to get invested. I agree with J Miracle that it's her way of putting you in the friend zone, whatever her reasoning and feelings may be. That's not to say that it's a definite lost cause, because friends can turn into more, feelings and circumstances can change. But the chances of that happening are low, and it's not worth the heartache and confusion if you get too attached. I would drop this one and onto the next, unless you're okay with being just friends indefinitely. In a sense, it's kind of leading someone on to say that they're "not ready for dating," because this makes the other person feel like if they wait long enough, there's a chance. But people often don't know what to say and don't want to hurt someone's feelings, so they resort to saying something neutral. Or, more selfishly, they want a buddy they can lean on emotionally, so they say something vague in order to friendzone them.
MissCanuck Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 I would skip this girl, OP. She's letting you know now she doesn't want to date. If that's what you're after, I would keep moving.
Andrina Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 When two people have opposite relationship goals, it never works. I know my time is precious. Isn't yours? You'd like to kiss her and she, at the most, wants to watch a movie together. I'd tell her: Now that I've found out you're not ready to date, I'm going to break our date. We're looking for different things. Staying friends wouldn't be good for future date possibilities. A great new girl would wonder what the hell you're doing hanging out with another girl who you wanted more from.
ShatteredMan Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 I wouldn't break any dates, but I would definitely date other women. There could be another guy in the background here........ That being said, if she asks if you're dating other girls, be truthful and tell her "yes". Also, if you meet someone else and things begin to get physical, you should be truthful to anyone else you're dating and let them know. More than likely, this will end that relationship but at least there is no deception involved and it allows anyone else that you've been dating to move on.
Betterwithout Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 textbook friend zoning. Time to move on to someone with mutual interest in a relationship
katrina1980 Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 I've been talking to this girl for almost a week and we already met and we have been talking a lot she talks to me and she told everything almost everything about her and seems like she's interested ----- **but today out of nowhere she said she's not ready for dating and wants to take it slow ..... ^This is when good communication skills come in really handy. When she says this, this when YOU ask her to clarify what she means. Does she want just a friendship? Or FWB? Or strictly friends with a sexual undertone until she is "ready" to date? Sounds to me like she just wants a friendship (with you). She has been out with you and is just not feeling attracted enough to want more than that (sorry With another man to whom she IS attracted? Could almost guaranty she will be *ready* to date him. If you want more, wish her well and move on.
Sportster2005 Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 She's not ready for dating. That's pretty straightforward. Wish her luck and move on.
katrina1980 Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 OP, did you meet her on a dating site? I always find it curious when someone is active on a dating site, but then announces they're not ready to date! We read a lot of these stories on here, which is why I am asking. Like I said before, my first thought is that they *are* ready to date, but are just not attracted enough to date you. If you did not meet her on a dating site, then it's possible she isn't ready to date in general. However I still think if she were more attracted, she would want to. That may be just me projecting though, cause that's how I feel.
Wiseman2 Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 Oops. That is classic friendzoning. Learn to recognize it early. All talk and talk and more talking but then no dating. #-oI've been talking to this girl for almost a week and we already met and we have been talking a lot she talks to me. out of nowhere she said she's not ready for dating.
katrina1980 Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 All talk and talk and more talking but then no dating. #-o Yup, and no sex .... :splat:
tattoobunnie Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 If you want a relationship, then do not go out with her. When she says slow, and is not ready for a relationship, it means she is either dating a whole slew of guys, or not over her ex, and she's trying to string you along. NEXT!
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