Unsure whether to end long distance relationship..

[Advice95]

I have been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for the past four and half years. We live about an hours drive from one another, so the distance isn't too long, but it's long enough for us not to see each other often. We met on Twitter, and I instantly fell in love with his personality. He was, and still is, very sweet, and he compliments me a lot.

 

He never had a profile picture of himself on Twitter. I wouldn't say I was 'catfished', because we spoke on Skype quite a few times before we met, so I had a rough idea what he looked like. He is of an Indian background (born in England), and I am English. He's not my 'type' physically, but I was instantly taken by his personality.

 

When we met in person for the first time, I found out then that he was shorter than me. I'm 5ft6, and he's about 5ft4. This didn't really bother me at first, because I was so in love with him as a person, but over time it has really started to bug me. We first got together when I was 17, (he was 18 ) and I often got teased about him being short by people I went to school with. I tried to put it to the back of my mind, but now that I'm having doubts in other aspects, these insecurities are starting to come out, as shallow as it sounds.

 

The relationship now doesn't feel the same as it used to be. On both parts, we used to get really excited when we knew that we were going to see each other, but now it just feels like a chore. At the start, my boyfriend would do anything to be able to spend a few hours with me, but now he can't be bothered to come over and see me unless it's for a night at least, as he doesn't see it as 'worth it'. In a way I can see his point, but when I think about how he'd do anything for a few hours with me, this hurts.

 

His family are nice to me, and I get on with his parents and brother, but I feel like my parents are a lot more welcoming. They always invite him on family holidays and to family events, but his parents never invite me to any of theirs. We've only been on two holidays as a couple in the 4 and a half years of being together, but he often goes on holiday with his parents. He went away three times last year, and I didn't get invited to any of them. This hurt, especially as he came away with my parents and I (I'm an only child) to New York for my 21st birthday. But I do get on with his parents, and they are nice to me when I see them. The only family event I get invited to with his family is when it's his birthday, and I feel like that's only out of pity.

 

Now that I'm 21, I'm a lot more mature than at the start of the relationship. With it being long distance, it's so difficult to experience the physicality that most other relationships have, and I struggle with this, as we don't see each other often. Before the last time I saw him (which was just over a week ago), it was 8 weeks since we'd properly met up with each other. We've been in a long distance relationship for 4 and a half years, and now I'm struggling, because I don't know when the long distance will end.

 

When we first got together, he was just starting uni, and I was in college and working. Up until January this year, he had never worked a day in his life. I'm proud of him for getting this full time job that he's now at, but it obviously restricts us even more as to when we can spend time together. He works Monday to Friday, and I sometimes work weekends too. With no end to this in sight, I don't know whether to hold onto this relationship, or let him go.

 

One of the toughest things about this is that I'm not actually angry with him, and he hasn't done anything 'wrong'. The crazy thing is, I actually thought to myself the other day that I kind of wish he'd cheated on me, because then at least I would be able to make a decision. Admittedly, not for a while, we tend to argue a lot, but about silly things. We've been fine for a few weeks, but it has been weekly at certain points in the relationship.

 

We are spending less time together, and the communication is starting to get very samey and boring. I don't know what this means, which is why I'm feeling this way, and unsure what to do. When we do talk, there is definitely a connection. We share lots of inside jokes and have a lot of great memories!

 

I'm also not physically attracted to him any more. I fell for his personality at the start, and now he doesn't seem like he is as bothered as he once was, so as this attraction is starting to wear off, I'm seeing him physically, which I'm also not attracted to. But he's a sweet and loyal guy, who loves me. I'm worried that if I leave him, I won't ever find anyone else who loves me like he does, but I don't want to stay with him for the sake of it. I'd also be super jealous of any future girlfriends, as he's a romantic, and I know they'd be treated well.

 

I spoke to him yesterday about how I've been feeling, so he is aware, but I'd really appreciate some advice on this! I only have 3 friends, none of which I could go to about this, as their dating history is either a failure, or non existent! I also feel awkward taking to my parents about this - I first told them about him by texting them!

 

My boyfriend has given me some space so I can think, but I'm lost in my own thoughts. He is my first boyfriend, and I'd really like some help? Thank you!

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately you got together way too young and that stunted other experience. It seems to have run it's course considering it's a ldr, getting boring and there's no attraction left.

 

It's wrong to string someone along because of "future jealousy", because that's borne of possessiveness and insecurity.

Be kind and set him free since you have grown so indifferent.

We first got together when I was 17, he was 18.

I'm struggling, because I don't know when the long distance will end.

the communication is starting to get very samey and boring.

I'm also not physically attracted to him any more.

I spoke to him yesterday about how I've been feeling, so he is aware

My boyfriend has given me some space so I can think