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Ex gf broke up with me, not giving me a chance to fight/fix/change things.


Mcspisak

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My ex dumped me on dec 1. The reasons i think was because of a breakdown in communication and her not thinking i was ready for the next step. I'm 27m, she's 25f. She also has a child from her previous relationship, we met when she found out she was pregnant. and that never bothered me. there was an instant connection from day one (her words). I am an only child so i never knew how to act around an infant, though there were times where we were together with the child. We were together for 3.5 years, officially together for about 2. Even talked about moving in together multiple times. When she dumped me i was going through a crisis of sorts, lost my career and was stressed out. Unsure about things, but never unsure about her and us.

 

She dumped me out of the blue, I thought everything was good until it wasnt. We never fought or argued, enjoyed a lot of the same things, could normally talk about anything and everything. Sex was great, better each time (her words), she kept saying how much she loved me and has my heart...though looking back i do see that she was becoming more quiet and reserved. Giving me "tests" disguised as mundane questions. I tried (maybe too hard) to fight for her and fix it for a couple of weeks. But she pretty much replaced me, was seeing a "friend" the next day. the first week of January they postdated a relationship update to 2 days after the break up. Havent talked to her since. Dont really know what to say, just been focusing on myself and becoming better than how she left me. Getting into better shape, going back to school, volunteering, and saving money. One of the things she said after the break up was that she's wanting a family, something i want and thought we were building together. But this guy is apparently really good with the kid. That was his way in. She didnt give me a real chance to show how good i wouldve been. Never brought to me what she was going through until it was too late to do anything about it. I wish i could do something magnanimous to win her back, but I think the only thing i can do is just let it go. Let what will happen, happen. We arent fb friends anymore, i unfriended her so I didnt have to see what's going on, and continue to hurt myself by looking at it.

 

I dont understand how people can lead someone on for so long, not let them know what's going on, and then throw them away without fighting for what they had. Probably know the answer, but is there any hope? I really wanted to marry this girl, spend the rest of our lives together.

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If she had another relationship 2 days after your breakup, she had this guy in her sights well before she left you.

 

Your doing the right thing. Continue NC, stay in the gym, keep volunteering. The sound of it, this has nothing to do with you or your skill in interactions with the kid. She did not give you a chance because her mind is most likely made up that you two are over.

 

Good luck

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If she had another relationship 2 days after your breakup, she had this guy in her sights well before she left you.

 

Your doing the right thing. Continue NC, stay in the gym, keep volunteering. The sound of it, this has nothing to do with you or your skill in interactions with the kid. She did not give you a chance because her mind is most likely made up that you two are over.

 

Good luck

 

Yeah he has definitely been in the picture for a while. She had mentioned him a while ago, hes a regular at the coffe shop she works at. But never gave me any reason to be worried. Then after the breakup she began telling mr hes good friends with a lot of her friends, and was 'socially' hanging out when theyd all do stuff. Since like october. I know i shouldnt even want her back, but i truly love her. Its hard letting go of someone you loved completely, and for a reason that can be easily fixed.

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You're doing all the right things to move forward, so just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

 

Do you really want to try to win someone back who dumped you for another guy? Unless you were cruel to her or cheated on her you didn't deserve that.

 

If you ask me, you dodged a bullet with this one, and I really think you'll look back, wipe your forehead, and say "whew" one day. It sounds as if she's holding open auditions for the privilege of raising some other man's child. Nothing against single mothers, but let's call a spade a spade. I know it's hard to see it right now because you still have feelings for this woman, but this is a good thing.

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