Issues with communication in relationship

[Matt1989]

Hi everyone.

 

I'm very new to the forums here, and have decided to make an account so that I can get some unbiased advice about some things in a relationship that I am currently in.

 

If I could put everything into one word, I would write.... Inconsistent.

 

So, this girl and I have been dating for a little over 6 months now, and already we have had a lot of problems. Specifically, I feel as though our contact/connection in the relationship is rather inconsistent, for the lack of a better term... however, she doesn't seem to feel this way. Might I add that she is a little Old-School regarding her views on a relationship, she likes the Male to be the one to make the first move sort of thing.. - She says, and I quote "I want to be protected, looked after and provided for so that I can appreciate, and then provide afterwards". Mind you, she's Chinese. So, I guess her mentality on relationships is reflected on their culture, and how she was brought up. (If I sounded racist at all, I do apologize - it is not my intention to sound racist).

 

When we're together, there's no question about it - we're both very affectionate towards each other, she wants cuddles and kisses, and the bond/connection is definitely there. However, it's the lack of communication when we're away from one another that really gets to me.

 

I would describe myself as a very anxious person, of which I am now taking steps to try and develop coping mechanisms, and hopefully feel much less anxious by speaking to a mental health specialist - I have recently made an appointment with one after getting a referral from my local GP.

 

So, this person I'm dating seems to be pretty self-reliant and content with her life. She's very goal and job oriented, and refers to herself as "Emotionally independent", however, she feels as though I am indeed, not the same way (Emotionally independent). The main issue that I'm having here (as I mentioned above) is that our communication when we're not together is very inconsistent - sometimes we'll talk a bit, and other times communication is severely lacking, but she doesn't seem to feel as though it is, and her response is that "I think you need to learn to be more Emotionally Independent. An example is an instance recently where I was talking to her on the phone. We had organised to see each other in a few days after that phone call, and she also mentioned that she would give me a call later on that night that we spoke. About 10:00 PM came about, and still, no call like she said she would. So, I had just assumed that maybe she's forgotten, as she was in the City that night with some friends. So, to drop a hint that she may have forgotten to call me, I sent her a simple message, saying "I hope that you're having a good night in hopes that it may have jogged her memory and to prompt a phone call from her.

 

Eventually it got to about midnight, and I had still not received a call from her, so I assumed that she was busy. And yeah, it made me feel a little crappy inside. I decided to call it a night, so I went to sleep. I woke up the next morning, checked my phone and had received no calls or messages from her, so I had assumed that she was probably asleep after a long night, and hoped that she would call me later on that day. The day went by, and still, no call or message.

 

The next day, after I woke up, I checked my phone and yet again, still no calls, messages or any form of communication. Later that afternoon, I sent her a message asking her to give me a call when she wasn't busy, 3 hours had passed, and still no call or message. So, I ended up calling her, but she didn't answer. At this point, I was extremely anxious and worried, and felt like I needed some closure, so I decided to drive to her house to see if everything was okay. I got to her house, knocked, and she answered the door. I told her that I was worried about her, and that I was feeling extremely anxious about the fact that we hadn't spoken for a couple of days, but she seemed fine, and felt as though that she hadn't really done anything wrong. She invited me in, and said that she was sorry that she hadn't called, and stated that she was just tired and hungover.

 

Mind you, there have been multiple instances where this lack of communication has happened, but again, she is adamant that she hasn't done anything wrong, and that I worry too much, and also that I need to be more "Emotionally Independent". She also says that she really cares about me, and thinks about me all the time, but I'm confused due to the lack of communication issue. I can't help but feel neglected in this relationship because of the lack of communication when we're not together, but my questions are, am I too obsessive? Am I too clingy? Is it wrong to feel like that I have to touch base with someone who I'm with on a daily basis? Am I anxious about nothing? If anyone WERE to be in the wrong here, Is it me or her? Something else worth mentioning is that she says that she's not really one to have a conversation through text messages, and of which I completely understand - maybe I should be taking that into consideration.

 

There are a lot of things that I like about her though - She's very pretty, intelligent, the sex is fantastic, she has taught me a lot of things about life in general (I feel as though I have improved as a person since dating her) and she's affectionate, which I really like. But it kind of feels like that in the relationship, there are some really really good things about her, and then there are some really bad things (or at least I feel are bad - however maybe I'm being unreasonable)

 

Today, we spoke on the phone after I visited her, and she said to me that she wants us to quiet down for a bit. She wants me to "be myself" for a while, and the same with herself, and that we should be apart for a while so that I can "find myself" and sort out these supposed problems with my anxiety that I have, and to ultimately become "Emotionally independent". She tells me that she doesn't want me to feel unloved, or neglected etc, however, she doesn't seem to be making changes in the relationship to rectify this issue that I'm having. Or again, am I being unreasonable?

 

So, I guess this is all what's bugging me the most about her and I. Can anyone give me some advice or criticism? Am I expecting too much here? Am I being unreasonable? Or, have I made some valid points that would be a genuine cause for concern?

 

I would really appreciate some advice on this situation, as it has taken a lot for me to reach out and write this. Thank you for reading, and have a great day everyone.

[rosephase]

I don't think there is anything wrong with either of you. You just want different things. Wanting to talk to someone your in a relationship everyday is pretty normal and there are plenty of women who would happily talk to you every day.

 

I do think she is out of line not responding to you when you had agreed to talk later. Even just a text that says "Sorry I'm busy I'll give you a call tomorrow" I don't think it's out of line to expect that level of communication. But she clearly does. And if I made it clear to a partner that I didn't want to have that level of contact and he showed up at my door because I didn't pick up my phone? I would be a little freaked out.

 

She is very independent. She is being honest with you about what she needs. You've been honest with her about what you need. It just isn't a good match. Neither of your desires are "wrong". Both approaches can be perfectly healthy, you just want different things.

[Dahl]

Hello, Matt, and welcome to the forum. I saw a post from you go by a bit ago - I think you're a fine addition. Glad to have you.

 

Right, so, I read through the above and it's dead well sorted. Your insight is solid and you pose good queries in organized, intelligent ways.

 

I'm not reviewing your post, here, please know - rather, I didn't want you to think that here you'd made an effort to carefully outline your situation and sensibly highlight areas of particular concern and I was just ignoring it all.

 

You're going to get loads of brilliant, bang on feedback and analysis from the forum rockstars, in any event, so I doubt my initially narrow focus is going to be a deficit, in any event.

 

But to that end, what struck me in reading your post and what I hoped to gain further clarification on is this - are you feeling fulfilled by this relationship, as it is, now? On the most basic, fundamental level?

 

Because, whether or not you are wrong a/o your concerns are ill-suited, somehow, or inappropriate - I'm not sure that this element is then mutually exclusive with your nevertheless valid need to be in a nourishing and steady environment.

 

(for the record, I absolutely do not think that you are wrong. These are your feelings and opinions; I'm not sure that you *can* be wrong in this aspect)

 

In other words, Matt, this woman may be a fine and worthwhile soul and she may be flexible and willing to accommodate you without end - but this still has a great deal of a mismatched stiffness to it, to me, and I'm having a hard time getting beyond this worry.

 

Am I entirely off base? It happens often, so don't be afraid to say so.

[Matt1989]

Thanks for your reply, and I appreciate your honesty.

 

I can understand where you're coming from when you mentioned " And if I made it clear to a partner that I didn't want to have that level of contact and he showed up at my door because I didn't pick up my phone? I would be a little freaked out.". I guess that I was desperate for some closure, and that my anxiety got the better of me.

 

So, hypothetically, what if I were to simply learn to be content with having a lower amount of communication with this person? Do you think or believe that would be a viable option? Or would it be wrong of me to do something like that? To change my needs and expectations of my partner to help save a relationship?

[rosephase]

Thanks for your reply, and I appreciate your honesty.

 

I can understand where you're coming from when you mentioned " And if I made it clear to a partner that I didn't want to have that level of contact and he showed up at my door because I didn't pick up my phone? I would be a little freaked out.". I guess that I was desperate for some closure, and that my anxiety got the better of me.

 

So, hypothetically, what if I were to simply learn to be content with having a lower amount of communication with this person? Do you think or believe that would be a viable option? Or would it be wrong of me to do something like that? To change my needs and expectations of my partner to help save a relationship?

 

Some people can change that need. Some people can't. Do you want to change it? Or do you just want to stay in a relationship with her? I think the big question is WHY do you want to change. If you feel like it would make you a happier and more secure person weather of not you had a relationship with her than go for it! If you are just doing it in hopes that she will want to be with you again? I don't think that is a good reason to change. Especially since your needs and desires are well within a healthy range.

 

Wouldn't you rather have a partner that is happy to be in contact with you?

 

Personally I also find this: "I want to be protected, looked after and provided for so that I can appreciate, and then provide afterwards" idea to be sort of gross. It sounds like she wants someone to take care of all her needs and desires and to have none of his own. I would be uncomfortable about signing up to protect and look after and PROVIDE for someone who doesn't take the time to text me back when I'm worried.

[Matt1989]

Hi Dahl, thanks for replying to my post.

 

Regarding fulfilment in the relationship, it's a yes and a no. As I mentioned in the job initial post, the affection is certainly there when we're together, of which holds a lot of satisfaction and fulfilment in itself. However, the times when she doesn't really reply to my text messages and communicate with me to let me know what's going on - a simple brief text would definitely suffice, but she sometimes just doesn't want to come to the party so to speak.

 

The relationship feels extremely hot, and then can become extremely cold, you know?

 

I can understand what you mean when you say "mismatched stiffness", I would agree with you on that..

 

 

I'm certainly all for making compromises and sacrifises to help better a relationship - but that being said, would it be wrong of me learn to simply accept, and be content with different level of communication that I'm expecting? Or does this just simply seem like a bad match?

[Dahl]

 

Personally I also find this: "I want to be protected, looked after and provided for so that I can appreciate, and then provide afterwards" idea to be sort of gross. It sounds like she wants someone to take care of all her needs and desires and to have none of his own. I would be uncomfortable about signing up to protect and look after and PROVIDE for someone who doesn't take the time to text me back when I'm worried.

 

Seconded. I get old-fashioned, traditional.. Whatever.

 

But does this not sound simply..

 

Opportunistic?..

[Dahl]

Hi Dahl, thanks for replying to my post.

 

Regarding fulfilment in the relationship, it's a yes and a no. As I mentioned in the job initial post, the affection is certainly there when we're together, of which holds a lot of satisfaction and fulfilment in itself. However, the times when she doesn't really reply to my text messages and communicate with me to let me know what's going on - a simple brief text would definitely suffice, but she sometimes just doesn't want to come to the party so to speak.

 

The relationship feels extremely hot, and then can become extremely cold, you know?

 

I can understand what you mean when you say "mismatched stiffness", I would agree with you on that..

 

 

I'm certainly all for making compromises and sacrifises to help better a relationship - but that being said, would it be wrong of me learn to simply accept, and be content with different level of communication that I'm expecting? Or does this just simply seem like a bad match?

 

Candidly, Matt?

 

This is a bang on bad match.

 

It would be horrifying if you swallowed your own reasonable needs and suppressed your valid desires to make a fit, here.

 

She doesn't have to be a bad person to be the wrong person for you. And if you are having to debate turning your own hopes and pleasures inside out and then vaporizing them, she's just not the right person for you.

[Matt1989]

Well, as I mentioned in the initial post, I'm in the process of having appointments with a mental health professional to try and better myself, and to help me deal with my anxiety properly, in turn, maybe that would help me to feel a lot better and less anxious when there is a lack of communication simply due to her needs in that department.

 

I am insecure, I'll admit that... But maybe it's the anxiety that makes me insecure? Also, regarding the "I want to be protected, looked after and provided for so that I can appreciate, and then provide afterwards" thing seemed pretty off to me too - I needed to know whether I was wrong in feeling that that was unreasonable or not on her behalf. In a relationship, I believe that it's a two way Street, and that two people must meet half way. You're ideally supposed to be a team, right?

 

In a lot of situations, I feel as though she doesn't meet me half way, and the majority of the time, I'm going out of my own way to see her, and do things for her. Examples being, 1.) the majority of the time driving to her house to see her, when she rarely comes to see me 2.) the vast majority of the time, driving both of us to go out on dates when she's completely capable of driving, and 3.) I've spent a hell of a lot more money on her in the form of presents and dinners etc, than what she's spent on me (materialistic, I know). I just feel like I'm not being met half way, you know?

 

Maybe we're just not compatible due to the extreme differences in mentality that we have on the idea of a relationship. Her mentality is that she expect the man to make the move, and take charge etc.

 

Sometimes when I try and sit her down to talk about stuff, it seems like I'm talking to a brick wall because she hardly ever has anything to say. She's tends not to talk about her feelings much because she feels as though that I'm incapable of helping and says "I don't want to talk about my problems, unless you have a practical solution to the problem, I'm a very practical person". She is very robotic at times.

[Matt1989]

Dahl, I appreciate you being straightforward with me about this. I'm starting to see now that it is indeed a bad match. I'm extremely upset right now, because there are so many good things about her of which I absolutely love and appreciate infinitely, however it's all amounting to nothing in the long-term due to the negatives that are causing so many issues for me.

 

You make some very valid points. Right now, I'm heartbroken quite frankly. I don't deal with break-ups very well, and to top it all off, I suffer from waves of depression also.

 

Right now, I'm afraid of falling into another deep depression like I have in the past, and it's an extremely scary place to be for me.

[Dahl]

Oh, Matt, I am sincerely sorry for the turmoil you're suffering.

 

I want to reiterate that I profoundly do not think that you are in the wrong with anything you have posed, flatly. You have a strong and adept ability to work within your own internal processing in an admirably even-handed and sensible manner, particularly given how uncomfortable it may be to explore this all on your own given the anxiety you are concurrently working to manage.

 

You're not the one, in any way, trying to impose your feelings and desires on another. I'm worried that you are willing to bury these needs in your efforts to be positive and productive and make this work.

 

I'm not saying that you shouldn't like and feel for this woman, Matt. I just hate to see you force yourself to be a man that you are not in order to be with her.

[Matt1989]

Also, another thing that is worth mentioning is that recently she said to me that "There can only be one Matt, and although I may be able to find someone else that can provide for me financially, they may not be able to offer me the same amount of affection and love as what you've been giving to me. I want us both to settle down for a while, and afterwards, see what we can do for each other regardless of whether we're together or not. I want you to grow, and be be happy, and work through these problems that you're having, let me know what you think xx"

 

After we got together, seeing how organised she is and how content she is with her life right now, and observing her lifestyle, I felt as though it would be a good opportunity for me to have someone there to help push me, and make me be enthusiastic about making changes in my life, and just doing well in general. And I do see that as a positive, because I really need something like that in my life. But at the same time, it feels like she's trying to change me for her convenience. However, to help validate that, I would keep saying to myself "You need this Matt, you need someone to help push you in life to be a better person".

[Matt1989]

Yeah, I understand what you're saying here, Dahl. You're completely right in what you say about how I'm feeling etc, and I do appreciate you taking the time to provide me with some great advice, and to help put things into perspective for me.

 

So I guess it has to end then, I will have to put my foot down and tell myself that it's over, and I should move on.

[Dahl]

Also, another thing that is worth mentioning is that recently she said to me that "There can only be one Matt, and although I may be able to find someone else that can provide for me financially, they may not be able to offer me the same amount of affection and love as what you've been giving to me. I want us both to settle down for a while, and afterwards, see what we can do for each other regardless of whether we're together or not. I want you to grow, and be be happy, and work through these problems that you're having, let me know what you think xx"

 

After we got together, seeing how organised she is and how content she is with her life right now, and observing her lifestyle, I felt as though it would be a good opportunity for me to have someone there to help push me, and make me be enthusiastic about making changes in my life, and just doing well in general. And I do see that as a positive, because I really need something like that in my life. But at the same time, it feels like she's trying to change me for her convenience. However, to help validate that, I would keep saying to myself "You need this Matt, you need someone to help push you in life to be a better person".

 

Matt, let me steal my woolen blanket and wickedly hot mug of coffee from another thread and put it around this quote. Oi, mate, does this not leave you a bit cold? I'm desperately trying to get my brain wrapped around the above sentiment and failing, and I'm frantically figuring in cultural and linguistic disparities.

 

You strike me as a straightforward and warm, open and receptive romantic partner.

 

She.. I can't come up with an extreme extreme enough. I'm losing simple adjectives even in the attempt.

 

I'm not saying that she is a bad person. Truly, I am not.

 

But is she the type who is going to warm hearth and heart for years to come?.. I just don't see it.

 

Am I right to think this is important to you, the affection and physical connection?

[Matt1989]

Yeah, those describe me pretty well. You're correct there, sir. I guess it did leave me a bit cold, yeah.

 

And, I really don't know about that whole warm hearth and hear for years to come thing. I really don't know.

 

Again, another thing to mention is that she has said some extremely hurtful things to me during an argument we had about a month and a half ago.

 

Basically, we had organised to see each other one day after work, have dinner at her house and then go out somewhere romantic. However, what happens was, when I was almost home, she sent me a text saying "I think I'm going to call tonight off, I'm tired and don't feel like doing anything anymore"

 

I proceeded to call her to try and pry it out of her (as per usual) to see what was wrong, and why she had such an abrupt change of heart. After about 20 minutes of trying to find out what's wrong, she eventually blurted out "I don't think you're in a position to be dating me. Here I am, tired from work and having to go out and buy food for dinner to cook, paying for everything, doing all the work. You're not in a position to be dating me financially, I'm paying for everything most of the time, and it's not fair on me" my reply was that what she was saying was not true at all, and that I have paid for her dinner many times in the past, and that she was being completely unreasonable.

 

Trying to defuse the situation, and to be as adult and mature about it, putting aside the absolute bull lies that she just said to me, I said to her that I wanted to come around and make her feel better. She said to me "there's nothing you can do to make me feel better, but do what you want"

 

I drove over there, feeling absolutely furious. Got to her house, and we just had a massively heated argument, in of which she said some extremely hurtful things.

 

She said things to me like "you're uneducated, I have 3 master degrees, and you have none" a few weeks before that, I mentioned to her that I was buying a new car soon, and during the argument she said "you're excited about buying a $4,000 car..., anything below $8,000 is garbage to me!!" she pretty much belittled me and made me feel like a peice of crap.

 

The argument ended, and I was convinced that that was it, and never expected to speak to, or see her again. About a week later, at 2 o'clock in the morning on a weekend, I heard a knock on my window, and it was her. I was completely shocked because I never expected to see her, or even talk to her again. She said that she wanted to talk to me and that she was extremely sorry about the argument that we had, and that she hasn't been able to sleep all week. She also said that I feel like a terrible person.

 

It was cold outside, and I could have just told her to go away, but I didn't. I let her in, and she stayed the night. I couldn't have possibly told her to go away, I would feel cruel if I did that, it's just not me. I forgave her.

 

Maybe she's playing mind games with me?

[Dahl]

Maybe a power trip? Or trying to emasculate you to keep you from objecting when she is neglectful or rude as you try to reach out and connect during the day?

 

Matt, this relationship sounds worse and worse. I have the sense that you are a fiercely loyal person, but I can't believe that you have endured so much without giving your notice and running, not walking, away.

 

I'm a fairly tolerant girl, and I can't imagine how I would begin to work with a bloke who behaved this way. How early into the relationship did the 'honeymoon' phase start to fade?

[Matt1989]

I see. Maybe, who knows. I'm very sorry to have bored you with all the details in all of these long messages, I guess I was just venting.

 

I'd like to think of myself as loyal, yeah... Thank you for that. The issues and doubts about the relationship came pretty early for me at least, and I should have seen that as an indication of how the relationship was going to be, and I should have realised that she wasn't right for me.

 

I guess I'm just a fool? If I were smart, I would have ended it there and then, and could have saved myself a whole lot of heartache, but I was too afraid of being alone and as a result, I have wound up in the situation that I am in today.

 

I'm probably at fault here - I should have acted more swiftly.

[Dahl]

I see. Maybe, who knows. I'm very sorry to have bored you with all the details in all of these long messages, I guess I was just venting.

 

I'd like to think of myself as loyal, yeah... Thank you for that. The issues and doubts about the relationship came pretty early for me at least, and I should have seen that as an indication of how the relationship was going to be, and I should have realised that she wasn't right for me.

 

I guess I'm just a fool? If I were smart, I would have ended it there and then, and could have saved myself a whole lot of heartache, but I was too afraid of being alone and as a result, I have wound up in the situation that I am in today.

 

I'm probably at fault here - I should have acted more swiftly.

 

Gosh, Matt, I'm not bored. This is why I hang about, here.

 

Please don't be so quick to blame yourself for the problems in a relationship that, at the best of the benefit of the doubt, still takes two to sink or float.

 

Nor are you a fool. Frankly, I don't believe that you even suffer fools, well, far less act like one - matters like this are never easy to maneuver. It's such an untenable quagmire, at times. If it were a driving test, we'd none of us be licensed.

 

Are you deciding what to do, now, then, or still thinking it over, in general, as to what you want to do?

[Matt1989]

Ok, thank you then. It's very nice of you to take time out of your day to help others. I, and I'm sure many others, appreciate it a lot.

 

At this point in time, after having everything put more into perspective, and the situation seeming a fair bit clearer now, I'm most likely going to break it off with her. I am going to use this time that we are apart to reflect, gather my thoughts and just think. I know that her and I will make contact at some point in the near future. When we do, I'll let her know how I feel, and tell her that it's done. For good this time. If we continue on, it will just be worse for the both of us. I'll wish her all the best, say goodbye and then try my best to move on.

 

It's strange though. You see, after we had that aforementioned terrible argument, as I mentioned, I was convinced that we were never going to talk, or see each other ever again, and to be honest, I was feeling surprisingly ok. Sure, I felt sad, but I was coping pretty darn well. I didn't cry, and was overall feeling alright and in the state of mind that it was finished, and that it was time to move on. And then, bam, there she was outside of my window, haunting and torturing me in a sense. But now, this time around, I'm an emotional wreck. I called my work this morning and told them that I wasn't coming in today, and said to them that I wouldn't be much use today, as I have not slept in 26 hours.

 

I really appreciate your help here, Dahl. I believe in karma to a certain degree, and believe me when I say that good things will come to you. Thank you again...

[Dahl]

Any time, Matt. I take a good deal of solace from this place, too.

 

I do, personally, think that you would be making the right decision by parting, but please know that I am well aware that my opinion is just that, and I hope you will feel comfortable keeping us up to speed on how you are faring, irrespective of any particular choice. You are supported, not pressured here.

 

My goodness, please do indeed get some sleep! I would wonder if that may be contributing to the more expensive reaction you feel that you're having this time as opposed to other occasions? You must be exhausted from your general corporeal self to your very synapse tips. It's unreasonable to expect you to be able to make life-altering decisions on no sleep.

 

I hope you will carve out you time, to reflect, renew, restore, as you see fit, unapologetically and without hesitation to be generous and kind to yourself in your scheduling.

 

Having had the opportunity to rest and recharge, I hope you will be able to evaluate your ideas and feel confident in them, no matter the reaction that they get.

 

If she does fail to carry herself with dignity and seeks instead to knock you down, we're here. You are not alone with this.

 

I wish you nothing but the best, Matt. Please take care and let us know how you are.

[Matt1989]

Yeah, I've had a little bit of sleep, and feel a little bit better I guess. And yes, I am quite exhausted and my feelings are really all over the place right now, but none the less, this is a good opportunity in time for me to sort some stuff out in my head - I'm also in the middle of making another appointment to see a mental health professional, to address, and hopefully fix some of these issues that I have.

 

Afterwards, I will certainly touch base with you to let you know the outcome, etc. Again, thank you so much for your advice and support, it's appreciated more than you can imagine..

 

Take care also, thank you.

[mandeelove]

Hi you sound like me in regards to wanting to talk to your partner daily and have them keep their word on when they call. Then you get anxious when they dont. Yup sounds like myself so I dont think u are wrong wanting that. Its a very normal need. Some need that more than others but nothing is wrong with you . Maybe you are incompatible in this regard. So you have to decide if u can live like that or conform to a more cold hearted person. But with that can bring resentment in the long road...your needs being ignored...her getting aggitated or calling u clingy. I been down this road before because I am clingy and maybe the other person was distant. Drove me nuts even if we had a great connection. Just think long and hard about what u want. U deserve someone on your level.

[Matt1989]

Hi there, and thanks taking the time to lend your input on this - it's a little comforting to know that there are others that have certain needs like me, and to know that I'm not crazy or being unreasonable/expecting too much.

 

As I mentioned to Dahl, of whom has been a great deal of help in this for me, I am beginning to really believe that this girl and I are simply not compatible, and that our needs to a certain degree are on different levels.

 

After having things put into perspective a little bit, I'm feeling as though I should make the final decision to break it off with her for good. This relationship is not healthy for me, and is quite frankly causing detriment to my mental health - the longer it goes on, the worse it will become for her and I.

 

She's definitely not meeting me half way, that's for sure. However, that being said, I don't think I can blame her as such, or hold any bitterness towards her in that regard, it's just the way she is.