Help

[Bitlost1]

Travelling with the girl I like, was all going really well. But then on a night out she told me she nearly got off with a guy and really wanted too. Which annoyed me, she didn't get off with him because she said she knew it would annoy me and was angry because of it. But it really hurt me. Should I be annoyed and how do I deal with it? Thanks

[J Miracle]

What do you mean she almost "got off" with a guy?

[Bitlost1]

She was kissing and wanted to go back to his place

[trojan]

been there, done that: She Will Eventually

[RainyCoast]

and this happened when you two were on a trip together? as a couple?

[Bitlost1]

On a trip together but not as a couple. To be honest I thought we had a chance of being more, so the situation upset me and I don't know how to deal with it, if that makes sense?

[RainyCoast]

are there other people with you? hopefully you're not sharing a room and you can distance yourself when you need to?

 

it's natural that you're annoyed, but it's at least clear as day trying for anything romantic wouldn't be anywhere close to a good option.

 

i'd tell her to get with whoever she wants to, and make it clear i don't view her as a potential partner from this point. behaviorally, rather than verbally. with perfect calm and poise. go sightseeing or clubbing or whatever wherever on your own.

 

are you staying at a certain place for the entire duration, or are you guys traveling around? if it's possible for you to continue the trip solo on a different route, that might be something you'll find yourself wanting to do if the tension is entirely preventing you from enjoying yourself.

 

has she ever indicated before that she knew you were interested, or that she might be interested in you?

[J Miracle]

Ouch, sorry to hear this.

 

You two have different perspectives on your relationship. Unfortunately she only sees you as a friend, otherwise she wouldn't tell you about how she wanted to get off on some guy.

 

Have you made it clear you have a romantic interest in her?

[RainyCoast]

i think she knew how you felt about her, given that she said she knew you'd be upset if she did get with that guy. what do you think made her anticipate your annoyance with this?

 

regardless, i think it's a very lousy move on her part. she could've told you she doesn't see anything beyond friendship with you, and even if she didn't, she was free to get with the guy. to sorta blame you she missed out on a lay as if to spare your feelings is ridiculous, doubly so seeing as she certainly isn't sparing your feelings dumping this on you now.

 

this is just not the person you want to be emotionally invested in. head high and good riddance.

[Bitlost1]

Nah just us 2, we're travelling together and staying in hostels so I'm a bit stuck.

 

The guy was a one night thing so she's not meeting again with him. I think I'll have to see how it all pans out. The reason we went together was that she was too nervous to do it on her own. And she'd recently split with her boyfriend and it felt like she was getting closer to me but we've known each other for a long time so I may have read the signs wrong.

Thanks for your advice though