So many issues

[P33]

Where to start. Around 2 years ago I met a girl in a group therapy setting where I of course learnt a lot about her and vice versa, with no intentions as she was then in a relationship. Some time after we went on a date and had a brief intense few days which didn't work due to her volatility. She takes anti depressents etc for mental health issues and was drinking at the same time so she was a mess. a lot has happened since then and for the most part I would ignore her and she me. She's been in countless dysfunctional relationships in her past which I know, and have obviously affected her. I try to be as open as possible nowadays which I find is the best emotional policy. She would contact me every now and then, once even just to try to make me jealous, this is her MO. It's not ALWAYS the case though. Recently I've bumped into her, she's quit alcohol and admits she was out of control, like other girls I find they're most happy with contact on their terms rather than mine, so we've been going to lunch, getting closer and more honest. Now though we have a date booked in an intimate setting and it concerns me, mostly because I know how she can be. She currently has some other guy after her who she was reasonably close to (but not physically) but he has moved away and she isn't interested in but he is.

 

She told me she can't sleep prior to seeing me which I took as a good thing and I decided to tell her I do like her, she said she likes me too and lets see what happens, but she can also say quite blunt things, such as 'I think you crave female attention' and 'you need a relationship and I need convincing'. Admittedly this isn't scathing, who knows maybe I'm looking to much into this. What I have to say is that i've been very up and down myself and am about to start anti depressents today myself after finally relenting to my Doctor, as I have anxiety issues. I struggle with my own emotions and am a little concerned that if we get VERY close and then she puts her walls up or turns, as she appears to push people away, the after effects could seriously unbalance me. I just need to explain I'm in my 40's and she's older than that.

 

Advice?

[Dahl]

I met a girl in a group therapy setting

 

Not being a smart alec, here, but I'm afraid this sounds like a non-starter, and I'm thinking this is why.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately, I question the wisdom of dating someone you met in this setting. As you mention, she's a hot mess, even if she cleaned up for now. Work on your own health and recovery.

 

Eventually she may bring you down as she's not too stable.

2 years ago I met a girl in a group therapy setting. Recently I've bumped into her, she's quit alcohol we've been going to lunch, getting closer and more honest. Now though we have a date booked in an intimate setting and it concerns me, mostly because I know how she can be. she can also say quite blunt things, such as 'I think you crave female attention' and 'you need a relationship and I need convincing'. I'm in my 40's and she's older than that.