Bog man Posted February 18, 2017 Posted February 18, 2017 Hi I broke up with a narcissistic woman last week after being with her for 6 months . First 2 months amazing , but then emotional abuse kicked in . Just realised now that she was narcissistic, at the time in the relationship didn't even know about it ,it was he'll on earth . I've been no contact since I finished with her,totally messed with my head What now ?????????
RainyCoast Posted February 18, 2017 Posted February 18, 2017 i mean,,,, would you be asking this if your only single-minded concern was keeping an abusive person the heck away from you? what do you mean you have gone no contact? why have you gone "no contact" rather than just blocking her and cutting her out completely? what are you having doubts about that we can help you shed light on?
Krankor Posted February 18, 2017 Posted February 18, 2017 Are you having trouble getting past this relationship? Is some of the verbal abuse she inflicted still haunting you? Is she dominating your thoughts? If so, keep her blocked and maybe get a little counseling to help you put it behind you.
Bog man Posted February 18, 2017 Author Posted February 18, 2017 What now means ,how the he'll do you get over the war zone that you have just left ,and yes she is blocked and I never want to see her again .
RainyCoast Posted February 18, 2017 Posted February 18, 2017 oh dear have you internalized the abuse so much, or are you more shell-shocked and trying to make sense out of it? how do you feel about yourself, after all of this, and have your expectations about how people will treat you changed?
Bog man Posted February 18, 2017 Author Posted February 18, 2017 Yep,totally she'll shocked at the fact that I could let someone get into my head and take totally advantage ,I'm also thinking that the person I thought I loved wad somebody completely different, and yes at the moment my expectations of how people treat me has changed buthe hopefully that will change . I'm not angry but totally confused how a person can live such a lie just to make themselves feel better.
Matt3939 Posted February 18, 2017 Posted February 18, 2017 Bog man. It happened to me. Hell maybe you were the guy after me haha. Be thankful was only 6 months congratulations to you. Stay no contact this is important. You are probably kicking yourself for putting up with it. Look at it as a learning experience. The longer you are out the more you realize how bad it was. When you move on. I'm dealing with this now. Realize not everyone is this way. Just look at your past relationships. I know for me this one was totally different. If a new relationship is going amazing at first try not to over question it to much it is a different person. Good luck
Boughtandpaidfor Posted February 18, 2017 Posted February 18, 2017 Narcissistic people function like cults- they seduce you until you're hooked. No shame in what's happened. And you can rest now that you're free. Don't rush. And don't worry, you will learn to to trust again.
Wiseman2 Posted February 18, 2017 Posted February 18, 2017 Now you go no contact delete and block her from all messaging and social media. Then you get on dating apps with a fresh new profile and pics and start messaging and meeting women for coffee. Also now you know to look for red flags and cut your losses sooner. I broke up with a narcissistic woman last week after being with her for 6 months . First 2 months amazing. What now ?????????
Bog man Posted February 18, 2017 Author Posted February 18, 2017 Thanks for all your encouraging words . Starting to feel stronger but the more I think about it the more I think .how did I let it happen
RainyCoast Posted February 18, 2017 Posted February 18, 2017 I think you just did not expect this kind of sick. These are deeply powerless people, they foster a deepseated inferiority complex. Their felt worthelessness and powerlessness doesn't encourage them to strengthen their position in a healthy way, at some early point they learned the power seesaw means you're either trodden upon, or you tread on others. The first option would trigger the complex they don't know how to resolve, so they only go for the tread on others option. It wasn't something you did i think. Sounds like you chanced upon this mess of a woman and the shock had you disoriented, but only for a while. The fact you broke it off and recognized whatever it was was unacceptable speaks well. I don't think you're setting yourself up for more of this. If anything, my guess is you would end it on the spot with the next person who was remotely disrespectful. It's just hard to wrap one's head around crazy.
Boughtandpaidfor Posted February 18, 2017 Posted February 18, 2017 It's totally nothing to be ashamed of. It is a common relationship problem that affects a ton of people. Don't lose faith in yourself or humanity. Normal, intelligent people get sucked into these things - like being slowly boiled in a pot, the temperature increases gradually and you lose perspective of what's happening to you.
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