Confused about what to do

[moreno]

About a year ago, I began a romantic relationship with a friend. At that time, he was involved with another woman, whom he was apparently splitting up with and had been staying in a separate room altogether for almost a year prior to our relationship. He did move out, into my apartment, but after about three months, he left abruptly (like took his belongings without notice). He called a couple of days later and plead and apologized his way back. He said he went back because his young son was having health problems, and was struggling being away from his dad. He came back, I forgave him, then he left again (same way). We continued to talk and see each other on occasion. He has always been adamant that there is NO relationship whatsoever with his ex and that they cannot stand one another. I find out that they spent an overnight trip last weekend, that, according to him, was completely planned by her and he had no prior knowledge of this. This man tells me I am the love of his life, and that he needs me, cares about me, has a deep connection, yadda yadda, you know the story..... I am honestly in love with him, and I want to believe him, but I feel a little stupid believing him sometimes.... What is everyone's opinion?

[Hollyj]

He is playing you both, and you have fallen for it.

 

Red flags:

He was involved with this woman - good god, he was living with her - and you were the chick on the side

You really believe he was sleeping in as separate room

He disappeared on you and went back to his ex - What a stand up guy

Same as above

Went away together for a weekend

 

You cannot be this naive. I don't care if you love him, when are you going to love and respect yourself. Why do YOU allow people to treat you so badly?????????

[abitbroken]

Seriously? You let a guy who was living with someone else AND had a child living there crash at your place in the guise of love? Yes, you are being stupid. He is cheating on her with you - she could think he is crashing at a buddy's and doesn't know either. btw, you have no proof that he slept in a seprate room, either. That's just his sob story so you'd take him in. and Yes his child comes FIRST

[SooSad33]

Honestly.. I feel he is NOT emotionally or mentally 'available' at this time in his life- for a relationship.

 

Things were kicking up BEFORE he had even left that relationship.

 

And this crap- ongoing is showing you how 'unstable' he really is. He can't 'give'.

 

You may have been ready for him.. but he is far from ready to give back to you..

 

No, I don't believe this is love.. more like he's been relying on you for emotional support-- possibly cause he's insecure.. or afraid to be alone? I guess you can in ways, word this as a 'rebound'. They happen too much, too soon.. and yes, they sting!

 

I suggest you put your foot down and say no more. he is NOT healed from his past relation at all.

 

He NEEDS some serious down time to work on himself!

 

Sorry you've been used.

[Evangelina]

Letting an attached man into you life is not smart. He is not going to tell you positive things about his wife as this would diminish the chances of sex with you. The truth is you have no clue what is going on in their marriage or their marital bed.there are people that are able to divide their minds well. When he/she is there they are yours. When they leave they can stash you in a box and forget about you. You already know he is a liar and a deciever. He will trickle truth you if you ever find something is not right. I have seen people invest/waste. in these triangle type of relationships. He is using you as a bandaaid. Tell him to not contact you until he is free. Why do you trust this man? You you really think he respect's you? Do you think you respect marriage or commitment in the back of his head. He's a cake eater. He can't resolve his issues so he wants two women to do it for him. I wish you the best. Dump this disloyal loser!

[Wiseman2]

Yikes! Straight from her place to your place? Why did you allow that? Is he bouncing back and forth between you two now?

 

Stop all contact with him. This won't end well and just cycle between him living back home and using you like a motel and for new sex.

he was involved with another woman He did move out, into my apartment, but after about three months, he left abruptly. He said he went back because his young son.He came back then he left again.