Complicated issue

[Tpalm641]

Ok so I'm in a complicated issue. Iv been in a relationship for about a year and a half. But before I get started with that. I have to give a little background I'm 28 years old male and have depression issues. I have no friends except for my gf. She's the only one I feel like I can count on and talk to. Iv always had issues making friends and to be honest am afraid to make friends. One cause I don't want it to take away from my time with my gf and two cause its just uncomfortable for me. So my gf doesn't spend much time with me anymore shes always with friends I see her once a week about and when we hangout she tends to not wanna do anything cause she's too tired and just wants to sleep. She parties a lot and drinks a lot as well with her Friends which is why she's too tired to do anything. When I try to make plans to do stuff with her she rather just do those things with friends and not me. She also goes away a lot with her friends to vegas and Florida which I'm never invited Too. When she goes she will barely texts me sometimes not even at all cause she's too busy with friends or what not. When I text her and she's with her friends she says she can't talk but when we're together she texts her friends all day constantly. I want her to hangout with her friends and I want her to have a life besides me I just feel insignificant. She says I'm very clingy and to be honest maybe so cause she's really all I have. When I try not to be clingy for instance she will go away I won't text her for a day or two cause I wanna not be clingy and give her space but anyway when she finally texts me she still thinks I'm still being clingy cause I tell her I miss and love her so much. I tend to spend a lot of money on her and buy her things constantly cause I wanna make her happy cause it makes me happy being good to her. It's really an unexplainable feeling it just feels really great doing things for her like giving her massages. But she seems to not really care for instance there are times when I'll buy her flowers and she says she doesn't want them or I'll give her massages and she will say she's too tired to give me one back. I knew going into our relationship that she wasn't a very nice person to be honest cause she treated others around her like **** was very nasty to people and her family. which I hated to be honest but she was always good to me so I looked past it. But now she treats me like she treats others. I know deep down inside I should probably walk away and probably deserve better but it's so hard cause I'm afraid of being alone and having no one to turn too for my depression and personal issues not to mention I do love her so much cause she's been such a part of my life and Iv gotten so used to her being in my life. Now Iv spoken to her on numerous times about how I feel and nothing ever changes and to be honest it never will I either deal with it or I leave. Our sex life has also been very non exsistant. She's always sick or too tired or isn't in the mood and if we Do have sex I tend to do for her and don't get much in return. Iv never been so scared to walk away from someone cause I love Them so much. All I honestly want is for her to be happy that's all I ever wanted and I'd do anything In this world to make her life better. Questions are welcome

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this but you don't sound like a good match. How long have you been dating? How old is she?

 

Unfortunately you can't buy love or friendship or respect. You need to not revolve your life around her. Even if you are introverted or a homebody, you need more friends and involvement with other interests. This is unhealthy. She is using you and taking you for granted and you are smothering her.

 

What you really need is a therapist to turn to. You gf can not treat depression.

I have no friends except for my gf. and I want her to have a life besides me I just feel insignificant. I tend to spend a lot of money on her and buy her things. But now she treats me like she treats others. I'm afraid of being alone and having no one to turn too for my depression and personal issues Our sex life has also been very non exsistant.

[Tpalm641]

Sorry to hear this but you don't sound like a good match. How long have you been dating? How old is she?

 

Unfortunately you can't buy love or friendship or respect. You need to not revolve your life around her. Even if you are introverted or a homebody, you need more friends and involvement with other interests. This is unhealthy. She is using you and taking you for granted and you are smothering her.

 

What you really need is a therapist to turn to. You gf can not treat depression.

 

Your right my gf cannot treat depression but Iv been to psychologist, psychiatrists my whole life literally and been on more Drugs than most have ever even heard off and Iv realized the only thing that has ever helped is having a friend or gf that I can trust to talk too and that I know will listen to me. Knowing someone has my back or loves me and cares about me it's the best feeling Iv ever felt. The down side of that is I become dependent on them

[J Miracle]

Do you have any interests or hobbies? You could join a meetup group or club that pertains to your interests. Making friends isn't easy, and it takes effort. But it's much healthier to rely on friends and family for support, rather than just one SO. I've been there. I work alone as a freelancer, I live alone currently as well. I have to put a tremendous amount of effort In Finding and maintaining a social life. However it's worth it. I always have a buddy to go have a beer with if things get tough. But it takes effort to get that.

 

This social issue seems like the first thing you should tackle after you handle things with the lady. I would really think about breaking things off, your lifestyles sound polar opposite. Also backing away from her, if you choose to do so, and being single for a while will kick start your drive to build a good social circle.

 

Good luck.