When do I start feeling relief?

[lizardo55]

I made a few posts about a guy I've been dating for about a year. Mainly it came down to we had very different beliefs on certain topics and he basically told me he was unsure if we would ever work out long term. He said he wanted to give it one more shot, but since he said he was unsure, I said we needed to part ways. Rationally, I know this has to be the right decision. There's no way I can be with someone if they can't accept me for me. However, I'm not feeling any relief from the decision. It's only been a week.. but will I ever start to feel relief or happy from this decision? I've just been down and depressed and now wondering if this is a huge mistake. I am staying busy and reaching out to friends/family and I've started going back to my therapist. However, nothing seems to be helping as of now..

[gebaird]

There's no way I can be with someone if they can't accept me for me.

 

Hold on to this thought. It will keep you strong each time you regret your decision or think about going back. What you want is real love. What you'll get from this guy is counterfeit love. Keep searching for the real thing.

 

Yes, it will get better. No, it won't be easy.

 

Think of it like having surgery. The end result is better health, but first your health is made WORSE by the surgeon's scalpel. Weeks and months of recovery, rehabilitation, and physical therapy then follow, but eventually you get to a point where you are much better off than you were before. "Emotional surgery" involves a similar process.

 

Stay strong, trust that the decision you made was right, and look forward to better days ahead.

[Wiseman2]

That's so fresh, give yourself time to calm down and reflect particularly since you made the decision. The heart often takes time to catch up with the mind.

he basically told me he was unsure if we would ever work out long term. I said we needed to part ways. I'm not feeling any relief from the decision. It's only been a week.

[J Miracle]

There will always be uncertainty in relationships. I guess you should wonder if those differing beliefs are fundamental, and can drive you tow apart. Spirituality, politics, parenting.. Those are heavy. But if you prefer ice berg, and he prefers arugula, you should be able to accept that.

 

A week is not very long to heal.

[spinderella]

Remind yourself that its going to hurt for a while. Who knows how long, but its going to be a while. It wont feel a little better every in the beginning, but it gradually improves until it no longer rules your daily thoughts.

[Person1001]

I made a few posts about a guy I've been dating for about a year. Mainly it came down to we had very different beliefs on certain topics and he basically told me he was unsure if we would ever work out long term. He said he wanted to give it one more shot, but since he said he was unsure, I said we needed to part ways. Rationally, I know this has to be the right decision. There's no way I can be with someone if they can't accept me for me. However, I'm not feeling any relief from the decision. It's only been a week.. but will I ever start to feel relief or happy from this decision? I've just been down and depressed and now wondering if this is a huge mistake. I am staying busy and reaching out to friends/family and I've started going back to my therapist. However, nothing seems to be helping as of now..

 

Good on you that you aren't waiting around for him. The relief will come at some point, where you will see that its better to be alone then settle for someone who doesn't know what they want.

[No1]

Slow down, its been a week. You are going to go thru a whole catalog of feelings between now and when you are healed. Just know that this is the best thing to happen to you. The break up was needed and you two would of probably eventually broken up down the road somewhere and that time would of been just wasted. But because you two realized the reality of the situation, you can now move on and find someone better for you.

 

Any loss is going to hurt, even if its with someone you were not fully compatable with. But take the good memories with you. Remember the good times and those moments helped you become a better person. So hold your head up high.