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I thought I knew everything...


Mikess1978

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I cannot remember a day in my life when I felt that I am not really happy. It might have been a tough day, a stressful day but life has been pretty good till some time ago. I have very little memories of my childhood. I can remember everything else very well. I think, I am blessed that I only remember good stuff. I only remember the kindness of people towards me. Whatever I wanted in life, I got it. A good job, kind, caring and loving wife, a roof over our head, enough to eat, little bit saving for future, amazing family members and a good bunch of friends. I thought, I had it all. I always knew that my bad time will come. I was always afraid of it, but somehow I knew that good times cannot last forever.

 

You wake up one morning and notice, your parents are no longer with you, the child you have been waiting for over a decade left you before even arriving in this world. It creates such a huge void that your entire world fall apart. Your wife is no longer sure whether she wants you in her life or not since she has her own battle to fight, she needs to find who she is and move on with her life, with or without you. And how can you even blame her after the hell she has been through.

 

You try to find an anchor to stabilise your life, to hold on to whatever is left but that anchor is also false. It cannot provide you permanent comfort and it just wants stuff from you, it has nothing to give you.

 

How do you move on when you don't see yourself in the mirror no longer. You see someone who has lost all the hope. How can you even think of moving on when you know that no one wants you in their life, you have failed everyone.

 

Even if I find courage to live, what do I live for and for whom I live for?

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Oh Big Hugs Mike. I don't think it's true that nobody would want you. My own experience has finally brought me to the belief that most people, at some point in their lives, maybe several times in their lives will feel as you do that they have been abandoned and/or betrayed. I am not a religious person, not even a Christian, but I know the bible writes about that and also there is much in Budhist writings about that too. Certainly, I often have felt this in my journey, and in current times right now - but I don't feel the devastation. It's part of my journey in gaining wisdom and strength. Do you know that I am never lonely though often alone.

 

Are you in contact with your wife?

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You see when I came to ENA 5 or 6 years ago after a devastating breakup,mai thought I would be happy again if I met a person who I felt was right for me and who loved me. I was disappointed again (not saying that will happen to you), but I came to like my own company - I do have friends and interests - I find great solace in my many pets. I am grateful for the family I do have although my father died years ago, and my mother now has early dementia and very unwell.

 

As corny as it sounds, most of the time I feel I have ME, that I will love ME and take care of myself. It's a different type of love for many people I have in my life now.

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Oh Big Hugs Mike. I don't think it's true that nobody would want you. My own experience has finally brought me to the belief that most people, at some point in their lives, maybe several times in their lives will feel as you do that they have been abandoned and/or betrayed. I am not a religious person, not even a Christian, but I know the bible writes about that and also there is much in Budhist writings about that too. Certainly, I often have felt this in my journey, and in current times right now - but I don't feel the devastation. It's part of my journey in gaining wisdom and strength. Do you know that I am never lonely though often alone.

 

Are you in contact with your wife?

 

 

Hi Silverbirch, it seems that you are a strong person. I am not sure if I am. I am the youngest one amongst my siblings and the age gap is also decent. My brother is ten years older than me and my sister is five years older than me. So, in a way, I was raised like a baby. I never had to do anything in my early life and my family never expected anything from me so the pressure was very less and I got to do what I wanted to do, always. I think, that makes me what I am today since I was very protected during my younger life. I think, that upbringing along with never have to face any failure in my professional life made me weak emotionally. So, what a lot of people already experienced, I am experiencing now.

 

I do believe in God. I believe it is for the betterment of our society but I strongly believe that it is a man made concept. There is no heaven after life. Once we are done, we are done. My belief system was even shaken further when we lost our daughter. I still cannot accept that fact that it happened to us. I was so scared to have her because I never thought I am good enough to bring another life in this world and raise her properly, provide for her and help her become a good human being. Then I see the world and I feel, I really don't belong here because, my thinking does not resonate with others.

 

Silverbirch, what is the destination of this journey? We know that we are not going to meet the almighty at the end of it. We know that everything ends when we die so what is the end goal? Is it to be happy? Is it to be satisfied? Is it to be content? What it is? Does it really important to have a longer life full of pain and suffering or a shorter one but one which is filled with happiness and good memories of people we love? I ponder this question on daily basis but don't know the answer yet.

 

I went out with my wife for a concert last night. I gifted her the tickets as Valentine's day gift because I knew, she always wanted to see this artist. She asked me to go with her and I went. It was a great night, everything went so well and I get the feeling that she might come back to me. Maybe, it is my wishful thinking. But the problem is that I don't think, I am good enough for her. She made this mistake 12 - 13 years ago and I don't want her to make the same mistake. I was not good enough for her at that time and I am not good enough for her now. She can definitely do better than me.

 

I am not the same person I was about 9 months ago. I have a lot of doubts about myself. There are so many issues I still cannot figure out. The one thing I loved and I was very good at was my work but now, I don't feel like working.

 

I know my wife loves me and probably no one would ever love me more than her but I cannot be selfish to destroy her life. My brother, my sister and their family love me and then there is my mother in law and sister in law. My sister in law is very close friend and we talk about everything. In fact, she is the only one who knows about our separation.

 

So yes, there are few people who love me but I don't feel the desire to go any further...

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You see when I came to ENA 5 or 6 years ago after a devastating breakup,mai thought I would be happy again if I met a person who I felt was right for me and who loved me. I was disappointed again (not saying that will happen to you), but I came to like my own company - I do have friends and interests - I find great solace in my many pets. I am grateful for the family I do have although my father died years ago, and my mother now has early dementia and very unwell.

 

As corny as it sounds, most of the time I feel I have ME, that I will love ME and take care of myself. It's a different type of love for many people I have in my life now.

 

I also used to enjoy my company. When my wife separated, I was all alone but I tired to keep my self busy. I was doing good initially, the house was so clean, I was working out a lot, nothing was pending and I was kind of enjoying the me time. I started catching up with a lot of friends I was not able to. But now, it is different. I get anxiety attacks if I am alone. I go out to run / walk because I cannot be alone in the house, it makes me so depressed. If I am with people, I am okay but when I am alone, I suffer from negative thoughts.

 

Honestly, I want to live but I think, my best life is behind me. I am someone who is used to good life so I don't even know if I can live in hardship. And again, my question about a long life full of suffering or a short one with full of happiness?

 

Thank you,

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So, my conference call with my boss did not go well. I guess it was okay but there is nothing positive. He wants me to fire one of my team member as my boss thinks that he is not performing well. I kind of disagree and tried to talk to him but he already made up his mind so I am just going along with his suggestion. I don't want to argue, I don't want any additional stress and I kind of want it to end. I have given eight years of my life to him, developed a new division for him and each year ensured that margins and revenues go up each year. Eight years are eternity these days in sales management and things are tough, when you report to the company president because, you get only one chance to present your case and if he says no, there is no one else you can talk to.

 

I will try to last as long as I can so that my severance package keeps getting better.

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Sara and I decided that we would run 5k on Friday mornings and have breakfast after that. I like the idea as I am always up early and I really want to get tired so that I can get some sleep. Friday and Saturdays are weekly off here. Friday is also my cheat day. See, I am trying to do multiple things but nothing is working out.

 

The good thing is that I lost about 7 pounds in last month. I feel good about it and people are noticing it so it is not just me who feel the difference.

 

I went to the beach and messaged Sara but she did not reply back. She ended up apologising to me as she slept in and later joined me for break fast. She then asked me to drop her to a hotel as she wanted to meet her colleague for some business thing. I don't really get it She always has this back pack where she goes with her. I don't know what to make of it. I kept thinking about it and asked her later.

 

She asked me to buy the entertainer and cheers app for her which I did.

 

Then, we were sitting in car and I asked her the question I always wanted to ask her. I asked her if I am her sugar daddy and she is seeing others also for money. She was very calm and she did not get mad at all. She said, she needed money so she asked me, she enjoys my company and sex with me and she will pay me back. If I don't want the money, she would do the same for me if I was in need. She said, she sees me as a good friend so good that she is spending more time with me than her other friends. She said that she is not seeing anyone and did not have sex with anyone since we met. I want to believe her. Do I have any other option?

 

She always said that she enjoy my company and she likes to go on a vacation with me. She sees me as a good friend and she would like to be my friend forever. She wants me to go back to my wife but she says, she wants to continue our friendship even if I move back to Canada or she goes back to UK or even if she falls in love with someone.

 

Question for you - how do you know if someone enjoy your company

 

How do you know if someone enjoy sex with you, considering women can easily fake.

 

I would have not been asking all this if money was not involved.

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Thank you for your posts Mike! So much to say so it might take me a couple posts to reply as AI need to think as well.

 

Firstly, I'm very pleased for you that you went out with your wife and that it went well. I hope you will both go out together again some time quite soon.

 

Well, I can't know where my destination is. Sometimes that is frustrating. I just gave to take the paths AI think are the right ones for me. I would say that I am one of those people referred to as a Seeker or a Searcher. As for religions and belief in God, I have looked at several religions and believe that my own truth is in several of them. I was born into Christian faith but from my teens my search began. I read a book which was life-changing for me: "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" which urges U.S. To face the fact that all of us are going to die, that we should live our lives so that when our time comes, we are ready. I believe as they do that the fundamental object of life is spiritual growth, and many people find that in seeking spiritual growth, they become happy and contented.

 

You speak about your privileged upbringing, and if AI understand correctly, you feel sort if guilty, unworthy, because you don't believe that you deserve that. As you might know, Prince Gautama - Budha - was also born into a privileged upbringing, and he felt somehow incomplete by that. Now please understand this - by Budhist beliefs, the fact that you had this privileged upbringing is likely due to good karma you acquired in previous life/lives. By Christian beliefs, a God loves you as you are unconditionally. I'm not sure what happens in the afterlife. My he Budhists have some convincing statements that there most definitely are people who are reincarnations. I know that there is some type of afterlife because I believe I experienced my father's presence several years after he died,mand AI know too many who experienced the same.

 

You are a good person, you deserve the best. Your managers behaviour does not sit well with your truth. I urge you to do as you say, work with him a while longer and set yourself well financially,mand then look for a work environment which sits better with your truths.

 

I believe, at least for me, that my life must have meaning. I have things I do in my life which bring meaning for me. Xx

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With your work colleague whose employment you have been ordered to terminate, is it possible for you to offer to provide him with a good work reference so that he may find it easier to get another job soon. Do you have contacts who you may refer him to?

 

This is the main issue anyone at higher level management will face when they report to the company president - his decisions are final. My boss is someone who comes to any meeting with his mind already made up.

 

If I was in a different state of mind, I would have fought but he is kind of right, not 100% though. I am a big believer in building a team and my boss is always looking for quick results.

 

I will make sure that this employee gets whatever he helps he needs.

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Thank you for your posts Mike! So much to say so it might take me a couple posts to reply as AI need to think as well.

 

Firstly, I'm very pleased for you that you went out with your wife and that it went well. I hope you will both go out together again some time quite soon.

 

Well, I can't know where my destination is. Sometimes that is frustrating. I just gave to take the paths AI think are the right ones for me. I would say that I am one of those people referred to as a Seeker or a Searcher. As for religions and belief in God, I have looked at several religions and believe that my own truth is in several of them. I was born into Christian faith but from my teens my search began. I read a book which was life-changing for me: "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" which urges U.S. To face the fact that all of us are going to die, that we should live our lives so that when our time comes, we are ready. I believe as they do that the fundamental object of life is spiritual growth, and many people find that in seeking spiritual growth, they become happy and contented.

 

You speak about your privileged upbringing, and if AI understand correctly, you feel sort if guilty, unworthy, because you don't believe that you deserve that. As you might know, Prince Gautama - Budha - was also born into a privileged upbringing, and he felt somehow incomplete by that. Now please understand this - by Budhist beliefs, the fact that you had this privileged upbringing is likely due to good karma you acquired in previous life/lives. By Christian beliefs, a God loves you as you are unconditionally. I'm not sure what happens in the afterlife. My he Budhists have some convincing statements that there most definitely are people who are reincarnations. I know that there is some type of afterlife because I believe I experienced my father's presence several years after he died,mand AI know too many who experienced the same.

 

You are a good person, you deserve the best. Your managers behaviour does not sit well with your truth. I urge you to do as you say, work with him a while longer and set yourself well financially,mand then look for a work environment which sits better with your truths.

 

I believe, at least for me, that my life must have meaning. I have things I do in my life which bring meaning for me. Xx

 

Thanks Silverbirch, you always make sense and I appreciate your encouragement.

 

I don't think my childhood was privileged but we always had what we needed (not wanted). I want to write a lot more as there are stories in my head which I think, I should just write down.

 

I am in this funk, where sometimes I feel I can still do it and again be on top of the world and the very next moment, I want to do something stupid. It has been long time I laughed. Sometimes I find myself crying and the funny thing is that my mind is empty, I am not thinking anything and just feel sad without any sad thought.

 

I need to find some meaning to my life as I don't have it yet. It is so stupid that I spent 39 years without ever thinking about it. I just used to think, if people around me are happy, that is the meaning of my life - to keep them happy.

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This is the main issue anyone at higher level management will face when they report to the company president - his decisions are final. My boss is someone who comes to any meeting with his mind already made up.

 

If I was in a different state of mind, I would have fought but he is kind of right, not 100% though. I am a big believer in building a team and my boss is always looking for quick results.

 

I will make sure that this employee gets whatever he helps he needs.

 

I have worked with people like that and find that very stressful to work under.

 

I'm glad you will do what you can for the employee.

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I need to find some meaning to my life as I don't have it yet. It is so stupid that I spent 39 years without ever thinking about it. I just used to think, if people around me are happy, that is the meaning of my life - to keep them happy.

 

That is a very noble meaning to have in your life Mike. As you know though, sometimes there will be times when others around us have things happen, and they can't be happy. It would be more realistic to adjust your meaning to being a person who loves and supports the significant people in your life. There is not the guarantee they can be happy, but you can't be responsible for everything which makes them happy or sad. Do you know what I mean?

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I don’t think I can ever understand Sara, either I am too dumb or she is too smart. She is someone who would be talking to you and all of sudden she will just go quiet. She would be texting you and then she would stop the conversation all of sudden without saying anything. She can chat for half an hour straight and sometimes; she is not available for entire day. When she is with me, she keeps checking her phone but she says that she does not check her whatsapp so often.

 

She would ask me everyday about what I am up to but rarely tells me her schedule. She has this habit of ignoring questions like she never reads them.

 

So, I got a message from her on Saturday morning saying that she feels terrible and she needs help. She went out on Friday night and got very drunk and came home. She does not remember anything after she left the bar and when she got up, she realised that her flatmates gave her a shower and changed her clothes. She even had some sick on her bag and stuff. It is fine as we all have done these kind of things. She said this kind of things happen to her every four years.

 

I asked her if she needs anything and she said, it would be great if I can come over to talk as she feels like talking. I offered her to bring a coffee in the late evening. We met in my SUV and we chatted a bit. Surely, very soon she asked me if I can give her some money as she cannot find her ATM card and she cannot find her cash. I was so surprised, I thought she just wanted someone to listen to her. The funny thing is that she said to me that she has some loan in UK and her ONLY account is in negative. So when I asked her, how did she plan to withdraw from an account which has no money in it, she said, she lost all the cash and she was just worried about her ATM card as she cannot find it.

 

 

Why would you go to a bar if you do not have enough money for the next day? I really like her and I enjoy her company but she is too smart to waste money like that.

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I ran 5K today and it felt so good. It does not really rain this much in Dubai but I don’t know why, weather keeps getting better in Dubai. We even had some snow few weeks ago. I am not sure what to make of all that talk about global warming. I know, people with come up with some excuses again. Last week was so gloomy that IU felt really depressed.

 

It was raining hard and we both (Sara and I) were so wet but we decided to enjoy the weather. Somehow, I feel better mentally when I am with her or when I am doing stuff. Busy is good for me. So,

I am doing my personal training sessions three times a week and I will do this 5K with Sara once a week. I also signed up for some circuit class so let’s see how it goes.

 

I am on the diet though; it does not go well with my travel but I will try to stick to it as much as I can. I am also trying to meet my buddies as all I can think of is keeping my mind busy. Last night, I did not feel like coming back to home so I parked my SUV on the beach side and slept there till 2:30 am. I think, it was not bad. I am not sure why, I feel so much claustrophobic now in my own house.

 

Got a lot done at the work also. I have a circuit training tonight and I hope that I sleep well tonight.

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I don’t think I can ever understand Sara, either I am too dumb or she is too smart. She is someone who would be talking to you and all of sudden she will just go quiet. She would be texting you and then she would stop the conversation all of sudden without saying anything. She can chat for half an hour straight and sometimes; she is not available for entire day. When she is with me, she keeps checking her phone but she says that she does not check her whatsapp so often.

 

She would ask me everyday about what I am up to but rarely tells me her schedule. She has this habit of ignoring questions like she never reads them.

 

So, I got a message from her on Saturday morning saying that she feels terrible and she needs help. She went out on Friday night and got very drunk and came home. She does not remember anything after she left the bar and when she got up, she realised that her flatmates gave her a shower and changed her clothes. She even had some sick on her bag and stuff. It is fine as we all have done these kind of things. She said this kind of things happen to her every four years.

 

I asked her if she needs anything and she said, it would be great if I can come over to talk as she feels like talking. I offered her to bring a coffee in the late evening. We met in my SUV and we chatted a bit. Surely, very soon she asked me if I can give her some money as she cannot find her ATM card and she cannot find her cash. I was so surprised, I thought she just wanted someone to listen to her. The funny thing is that she said to me that she has some loan in UK and her ONLY account is in negative. So when I asked her, how did she plan to withdraw from an account which has no money in it, she said, she lost all the cash and she was just worried about her ATM card as she cannot find it.

 

 

Why would you go to a bar if you do not have enough money for the next day? I really like her and I enjoy her company but she is too smart to waste money like that.

 

Mike I would be 99.9% certain that Sara has a type of double-life. The reason the conversations come to an end is that there are other people in her life - very likely men who she has relationships with just like she has with you. I think that is very manipulative of her to say that she needs to speak with you, and then to ask you for money. The thing with Sara is that you should take the relationship for what it is. She may well like you, but she is using you for money. I had a relationship with someone for a couple of years who was like that, and he also had more than a double life - he had women all over the place who he was using like me. He was a very good liar, and I suspect Sara is the same. It doesn't pay to take anything these people say as truth.

 

Its a very good thing that you are running and going to gym and catching up with your buddies.

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That is a very noble meaning to have in your life Mike. As you know though, sometimes there will be times when others around us have things happen, and they can't be happy. It would be more realistic to adjust your meaning to being a person who loves and supports the significant people in your life. There is not the guarantee they can be happy, but you can't be responsible for everything which makes them happy or sad. Do you know what I mean?

 

Hey Silverbirch, I need to tell you something. I love camping and we used to love to this place in Canada called SilverBirch for camping. A lot of great memories related to that place.

 

I think, we search our soul when we face tough time. This is what is happening with me. In the past, I never thought about life. We were just busy in living life, taking vacations, saving up for future, inviting family and friends over, it seems that there was no need to search the true meaning of life.

 

I believe I have been good with my family and friends. The only thing I considered I have was money so I always tried to help with money and my time. I am not sure what people think of me but I think, I have never hurt anyone, cheated anyone intentionally.

 

The best compliment I got few weeks back was from my nephew. He comes over to my place for weekends and he just started working and this is his first job so he feels lonely. He noticed that I am not myself so he said, "don't worry about anything. There are tons of rich people in this world, but you are the only one I know who spends on others". That was so nice of him to say that. Generous and kind are the words my friends and relatives use to describe me.

 

This meaning of helping people makes me feel empty also. I feel, they like my money, not me. They will like me only till I have money. So, my value is based upon the money I have, I have nothing else to give people around me. That is why, I am not so afraid of leaving this world because I know, they will miss money, but not me.

 

Sometimes I wish if someone really cared about me. I know my wife does but I know for sure, she can do better.

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Mike I would be 99.9% certain that Sara has a type of double-life. The reason the conversations come to an end is that there are other people in her life - very likely men who she has relationships with just like she has with you. I think that is very manipulative of her to say that she needs to speak with you, and then to ask you for money. The thing with Sara is that you should take the relationship for what it is. She may well like you, but she is using you for money. I had a relationship with someone for a couple of years who was like that, and he also had more than a double life - he had women all over the place who he was using like me. He was a very good liar, and I suspect Sara is the same. It doesn't pay to take anything these people say as truth.

 

Its a very good thing that you are running and going to gym and catching up with your buddies.

 

I know what you mean. Sometimes, I can tell that her talk is not making any senses and she makes mistakes in covering it up. Like she said that she does not have money because she cannot use her bank card. However, she told me many times that she has no money in her bank account and it is in negative.

 

She told me yesterday me not to question her motives and it is insulting to her. If she did not want to be my friend, she wouldn't hang out with me.

 

I still hope you are wrong and Sara is a good girl. The problem is that we will never know. Sorry, this is hopeless me.

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I had great day yesterday except the little chat with Sara. You know, sometimes you really want to know what is going on, you press the other person hard hoping that they will break or react differently but Sara is always so calm. She always says that she wants to be my friend forever and if she falls in love with someone or find another guy, she would let me know. What lese can I do except believing her.

 

The circuit training was great. They want me to sign up and I really thought about doing it - personal training on Monday, Wednesday and Saturday and circuits on Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday. When I came home I realised that a group session of circuits should not cost same as my PT especially when my PT comes to me. It does not make any sense. Also, my PT made a program for me to follow up on the days I am not working out with him. I think, I will go again for the next free session on Friday and then stick to my program.

 

I lost 11 lbs in six weeks so I feel good. I know, the next 29 lbs would be tough but I will give it my best.

 

I have a busy day at work, a lot of conference calls and then I am meeting a buddy for drinks. The thing about diet is that it kills your social life. My cheat day is on Friday and this is when my nephew is visiting me so I need to entertain him. On week days, no one wants to meet you without food or drinks. I think, I need friends, I need to keep busy so I should drink a bit, just little bit.

 

Another day of survival.

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I met my wife when we both were young; she was actually very young. When we got married, I was 26 and half and she was 21 and half.

 

The situation was very different back then. We are naïve, young and madly in love. Though her family and my family supported our marriage, I don’t remember if any of our friends or relatives had any faith in our marriage. They always said this would not work. She had to fight these doubters more than me.

 

I don’t think there is better woman than my wife in this world. She is very kind, caring, hot, social butterfly, amazing cook (I learnt eating after getting married) and loyal. She always puts family first and have similar thinking like me on most of the subjects. She is super smart and was always an A student. She is good at her work and always puts others before her. I can go on because she really is so amazing.

 

My wife trusted me and she started her life with me. We had very little at the time and we were barely surviving. Things though got better with the time. I never knew that we were going through tough time. My wife kind of left everything for me. To be honest, her life with me was not as comfortable as with her parent and she was trying to adjust with the new place, trying to make new friends etc. She scarified a lot for me and the worst part is that I thought, we were doing okay. I was clueless.

 

She had tough time with the new place and culture. Making friends is also not easy. But she never complained. I believe, we had so much fun on cheap stuff. She has this huge heart and she made sure that I was happy.

 

Later, she went back to school and finished her education. With that, she got a lot of self-confidence and also a profession. When she did not have a professional degree, people took advantage of her because she was too young.

 

I think, if she would have married someone else, she would have not faced these difficulties. Life would have been very easy for her. Due to me, she had to go through all the pain.

 

I also don’t fit in anywhere. I rarely make friends and most of my friends now are my business associates. I am opposite of her, I am introvert, someone who enjoys his own company, I like staying at home, I talk to people only if I know them. She is out going, she loves dancing, going to clubs, making tons of friends and everyone loves her social skills.

 

We also did not plan our life well. We just wanted to do so many things. I think, losing our daughter was the last straw in our relationship.

 

She wanted to find herself, she wanted to search her soul and she wanted to find the meaning of her life and whether I still fit in it.

 

I think, I don’t fit in. My best days are behind me. She is young at 33 and she can definitely do better.

 

Why to make the same mistake again when life is giving you a chance to fix it?

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Why do keep looking at my phone when I know there wont be any messages.

 

Why do I tell myself that I will not send any messages any more when I don't get any replies but I still end up sending more?

 

Why do I give so much importance to people who got no time for me?

 

Why do I expect something when I know, its not coming?

 

I was in such a good mood this morning, I worked out, I arrived early at work and got some work done and now, a small thing came drastically change my mood????

 

Will it ever get better or I will just feel like this always?

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Hugs Mike. I think you sound like a very nice person with a lot to bring to a relationship - not just money - but that is nice you were able to help the people you love. Your life certainly has not been meaningless. However, I think it's a good thing thing that you and your wife are both taking a look at your lives and asking yourselves the big questions. My ou are a very kind person Mike and very smart. I think you and your wife sound like a very good match! Doesn't matter that in some ways you are opposite - you sound like you complement each other.

 

I love silverbirch trees too and I also love camping. A lady friend of mine and I go camping together. We don't need to travel far as we have some very nice places close to us - many. I live in a small country town with a lot of nature around us. We are inland, hours from the coastline, but I have found nice lakes, a huge weir and even a place near waterfalls where we go swimming. I loved camping, and when I was young, in my teens, I went over to New Aealand which I am told is a lot like Canada, and I travelled and saw as much as I could in a six month period.

 

my sister has been to Dubai twice - her husband was working in Afghanistan for 2 years. They love Dubai.

 

I am FASCINATED by Sheikh Mohammed of Dubai for many reasons - mostly because he is said to be the greatest horseman in the world - but much more than that. He has a connection with horses which only a few people can have. I love horses, and he loves his. He has so many talents.

 

I'm I. The middle of doing something but will write again tonight quite soon.

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Hey Mike, you are doing really great actually even though you might think you are not. I really believe that in a few weeks, if you keep doing the things you are doing now, you will a lot better,mand things in your life will start to fall into place. Please don't give up on your marriage. I think you were a good husband and a good person, and that you and your wife sound right for each other. Just give it some time. Have a nice day Mike, and I hope we chat again soon. All will be well in time.

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Hugs Mike. I think you sound like a very nice person with a lot to bring to a relationship - not just money - but that is nice you were able to help the people you love. Your life certainly has not been meaningless. However, I think it's a good thing thing that you and your wife are both taking a look at your lives and asking yourselves the big questions. My ou are a very kind person Mike and very smart. I think you and your wife sound like a very good match! Doesn't matter that in some ways you are opposite - you sound like you complement each other.

 

I love silverbirch trees too and I also love camping. A lady friend of mine and I go camping together. We don't need to travel far as we have some very nice places close to us - many. I live in a small country town with a lot of nature around us. We are inland, hours from the coastline, but I have found nice lakes, a huge weir and even a place near waterfalls where we go swimming. I loved camping, and when I was young, in my teens, I went over to New Aealand which I am told is a lot like Canada, and I travelled and saw as much as I could in a six month period.

 

my sister has been to Dubai twice - her husband was working in Afghanistan for 2 years. They love Dubai.

 

I am FASCINATED by Sheikh Mohammed of Dubai for many reasons - mostly because he is said to be the greatest horseman in the world - but much more than that. He has a connection with horses which only a few people can have. I love horses, and he loves his. He has so many talents.

 

I'm I. The middle of doing something but will write again tonight quite soon.

 

Camping always gave me some relief from my work life. My work is very demanding and stressful. I am not hardcore kind of camper, we load everything in the truck, half cooked foods, tons of alcohol, ready to eat food and the only thing we do while camping is cook food, eat, drink and play games. We also enjoyed going for walks in the woods. I think, camping is great fun. Canada has a lot of good camping sites.

 

I think, now my wife has a profession, she has a good job and she just started her professional life, she can do a lot better than me. I am mentally broken now. My thoughts are negative and I am not at my best now. My wife deserves better. I still love and I know she loves me too. I will do whatever I can to make sure that she is taken care of. This is the only thing, I think I can do.

 

Enjoy your evening SilverBirch!!!

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