Confusing signals from ex girlfriend?

[Guesttt]

Hello. I'll try to keep this as brief as I can. I starting working with this girl in september and got to really talking in october and really hit it off. Although she had a boyfriend (who she broke up with late that October although has been over it for months prior). So all seemed well and good and we made it official starting December , a little quick I admit but we were both head over heels for each other. All is good until end of January she gets back from a trip to new York with her girlfriend's and I get dumped after picking her up from the airport she said that she doesn't want a relationship she has been in one back to back for the last 6 years and doesn't know who she is and needs a little time but wants to be friends I hesitantly accept. Im not happy but respect her wishes.

 

Over the next two weeks I don't freak out and spam her but maybe contacted her a little more than I should she seems okay with it blowing hot and cold all the time figuring stuff out. Till she starts getting mad at me, I back off and dont talk to her for a week. Which really is what I needed to take a step back and relax ask her if we can start fresh clean slate. I get a "okay sure". The following week now she avoids all eye contact when I walk by her in the building acting kind of awkward around me.

 

On valentine's day she gets a big bouquet of roses and chocolate and flowers delivered to work and genuinly looks happy to see them. I talked to her coworker after said they seemed to be from a family member ( which I can see although I didn't take it well at the time). Today (the day after) we are both leaving at the same time I'm trying to be nice ask her how the day went blah blah and all her answers are short. Finally I asked "hey are you uncomfortable around me". She said yes. I'm like "can I ask you why" she goes UGH loudly says no and walks off.

 

We're still in a relationship on Facebook left that way to not get attention from other people I know she isn't dating. I'm really left confused as to what is going on.

[gebaird]

I suspect there is something she isn't telling you because she doesn't want to hurt you, but her breakup story doesn't seem quite right to me. If she was happy in her relationship with you she wouldn't have ended it, regardless of what she said about back to back relationships.

 

You're a friend at best and an annoyance at worst. Go no contact so you can heal. If you can't avoid seeing her, just keep the conversation brief and casual -- no relationship or "what do you think of me?" talk.

[Guesttt]

See this is my thinking too confused me because up until the day prior to the breakup she was acting loving and normal then like a light switch went cold and distant then back and forth and I guess she has been asking about me after the split. She never was good at communication though always just shut down. Her last day is in a few days so it will be easier , not talk for a month or two I think and then see how I feel. The more happy I seem the more mad she seems at me

[No1]

I wouldnt even say you two were really BF and GF. You two dated but it ended quickly. Im going to be honest and say that its over and you should stop pursuing her because she is done with you. Once you accept that it is over then you can move on and not look into her signals. She is someone you dated but its time to let her go.

[Wiseman2]

The most important things are that she broke up and that you work together. Tread very carefully at work and stop all the personal questions, etc. She asked for space, so that's the best thing to do.

 

Keep in mind once you step into the office what you are doing could be construed as sexual harassment.

 

Sorry to say but wake up and smell the coffee. "Family" doesn't send roses on Vday to someone's office. go strict no contact, avoid her at work and be professional. Delete her from all social media, change your profile to single rather than look pathetic. And block her from social media as well.

Although she had a boyfriend who she broke up with late that October and we made it official starting December. she said that she doesn't want a relationship contacted her a little more than I should Till she starts getting mad at me, I back off and dont talk to her for a week. On valentine's day she gets a big bouquet of roses and chocolate and flowers delivered to work

[Betterwithout]

When someone uses the word "dumped" versus "we broke up" I feel that person was, and still is hurt from the breakup more than the person doing the dump-ing.

When kicked to the curb, you're in pain and it doesn't make sense crawling back to the person who kicked you to the curb in the first place.

Reading your paragraph assures me that this is what happened in your case.

 

Sorry it happened, heartbreak near Valentines Day sucks, but you need to go NC and move on to someone who cares about you. end of story.

[Guesttt]

Yeah kind of the cold hard fact I needed to hear. Kind of what I got from everyone and didn't want to believe it. I'm not usually one to get roped into mind games and stuff never been in this situition before so I didn't fully know how to handle it all my break ups prior have been straight forward, communicated good and never left me guessing. I'm also too strong of a person this chasing look isnt for me and I don't like it that's for sure.

[No1]

Yeah kind of the cold hard fact I needed to hear. Kind of what I got from everyone and didn't want to believe it. I'm not usually one to get roped into mind games and stuff never been in this situition before so I didn't fully know how to handle it all my break ups prior have been straight forward, communicated good and never left me guessing. I'm also too strong of a person this chasing look isnt for me and I don't like it that's for sure.

 

Its ok to say its over. I promise that the sun will still rise and set without her. This is a good thing to happen to you. You now have room in your life for someone better for you. Think positive and see what happens.

[Guesttt]

100% agree , as weird as it sounds I feel leaps and bound's better , even today I've seen her 4 times and didn't aknowledge her but did the people she was with I could sence a what the heck kinda vibe made me feel even better. The more I step back and really think i dont have time for this, i got 2 months to find a condo , i have school starting in march and have a second job about to start evenings and a month to get my car ready in time for a show jeez haha. Really appreciate the replies!