Online dating apps

[mfan]

Hi everyone,

I've heard Tinder is basically for hookups and not a good choice for someone looking for a long-term relationship. What about the newer apps like Bumble, Skout, etc? Are those more "serious" apps than Tinder? Do they have enough of a user base that someone who doesn't want children would have a reasonable chance of finding another person who doesn't want children (typically a challenge even on OKCupid and Eharmony)? Thanks very much.

 

-mfan

[j.man]

I've never understood the Tinder stigma. I used it back in the day when it was genuinely a hookup app (now it's definitely much more mainstream). Still managed to find women who were interested in actually dating when I wanted to. The app is just the tool. It's how you use it. Know what you want, express what you want, act and present yourself accordingly. If you don't want to hookup, meet in the afternoon for coffee rather than Friday at 10:00pm for drinks. There's a lot of small, pretty common sense things you can do to make sure your interests and goals are asserted regardless of the app.

 

I wouldn't get too caught up on the interface. And make sure you're using it as a supplement to real-life prospecting and not as a substitute for it.

[spinderella]

I think Tinder is fine...you have to vet the people you match with. I know opinions vary a lot on this but I personally prefer to have a good deal of messaging before I agree to meet. I would get some guys saying "I don't like to waste time texting for long - lets just meet up IRL" or something to that effect. Not for me.

 

I met my last bf on OKCupid - and we lasted nearly a year and were pretty serious!

[Dahl]

Hello, mfan. In no reflection of dating sites/aps, but only to add an option - is something called Meetup available to you? The categories are legion, and seem to range from single/romantic interests to activity / volunteer based groups. Might that provide, if not necessarily an alternative to strictly dating sites, another option for meeting like-minded folk a/o getting involved with interesting activities?

 

I wish you luck!

[SooSad33]

IMO- this kind of thing is VERY challenging for many. Not a very high success rate.

So go in with no high 'expectations'.

 

Been around them over 4 yrs.. longest was 5 mos.. and he wandered. The rest have been repeated 'hits' on meeting up. No thanks! As they ususally want you around short-term.. walk and grab a new one.

Dont want to be 'used'.

 

Yes, even when they are 'specific' on their intent, means nothing.... and this is where so many end up affected in such a negative manner.. because of the 'numerous' attempts.

Can just get old.. and many get frustrated.. or damaged as result.

 

So- take it easy.. don't jump at the first one who gives you attention... and be cautious. As even the men are saying 'Sane women only pls'.... so.. says a lot.. lol.

 

I have backed off.. because I've had enough that I don't think highly about these 'dating sites' anymore.

I know a few on there.. some even just want to chat now n then. ( no expectations).

 

So... take it with a grain of salt. Can be a little more challenging when you're older, since at that stage in their life, they're already 'set in their own ways'.. and it's pretty much.. 'this is my life- can you handle it?'... Often it's.. No.

 

Gd luck.

[mfan]

Hello, mfan. In no reflection of dating sites/aps, but only to add an option - is something called Meetup available to you? The categories are legion, and seem to range from single/romantic interests to activity / volunteer based groups. Might that provide, if not necessarily an alternative to strictly dating sites, another option for meeting like-minded folk a/o getting involved with interesting activities?

 

I wish you luck!

 

Hi Dahl,

I go to meetups frequently and I enjoy them, and it's certainly a possibility I'll meet someone that way. I've made a couple of friends through meetup already. I agree with everyone who says one should plant seeds in lots of different places. As for apps I wonder if some are better suited to long-term relationship seekers than others. Thanks!

[kktang]

The new Hinge is supposed to gear towards relationship rather than hookup. My female friend started out on okc and tinder toward the end of last year and dropped okc eventually, she said many people have moved to tinder so same crowd but fewer junk messages in tinder.

 

I agree with j.man it's more your filtering skill than the platform. I feel guys are more honest about their intention on tinder which I like.