Lotusavx Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 I had a great date with a guy last night. We had great conversation and got along really easily. He kept mentioning things about his life and saying stuff like "if you ever come here with me"..etc. On the way home, he asked if I would want to hangout again and I said for sure. Then he texted me later that night and said he thought I was gorgeous, asked if he will get a second date and what I would want to do for a date next time. I got a really good vibe from him. I feel like I am getting too attached to the idea of him eventually being my boyfriend. How should I not keep my hopes up too high?? Link to comment
mbee Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 Just be realistic. With my ex-boyfriend, we got on amazingly well and the entire time (until he asked me to be his girlfriend which was 1.5 months in, I treated every date with the possibility that this might be our LAST date). So go in with that mindset. I'm having a great time, things seem to be good, but remember this might be our last date. There might be some incompatibility there, we are still getting to know each other. A relationship should be about 2 people who are ultimately compatible. Use each date as an opportunity to learn about him. I get that you are excited but you hardly know this person, he's still very much a stranger to you. Take each date for what it is. You had a great time, awesome. Now go on the 2nd date, see if you have a great time and enjoy. Then go forward. There is no reason to have high hopes for a guy you just met and barely know. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 Excellent. Take a deep breath and do this one step at a time. Think great dates!, not bf just yet. Let this unfold and pace yourself.I had a great date with a guy last night.I feel like I am getting too attached to the idea of him eventually being my boyfriend Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 Just relax and enjoy the ride! Who knows? I've sometimes had great dates, followed by more great dates... and then realised the guy was a douchbag/still overly involved with his ex/completely under his mother's thumb about six weeks later, and then it was time to make my apologies and leave. Let's hope it all goes swimmingly well for you! Link to comment
justshine1 Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 A first date on valentine's? That's romantic. Was it a blind date....how did you two meet? Link to comment
Lotusavx Posted February 15, 2017 Author Share Posted February 15, 2017 we met on a dating website. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 I feel like I am getting too attached to the idea of him eventually being my boyfriend. Which may be precisely his intention (so you'll have sex with him sooner). I don't even mean that negatively (not yet anyway lol), just a possibility to be aware of. How should I not keep my hopes up too high?? By staying grounded in reality and keeping things in perspective. You had ONE date. This man hardly knows you. Nor do you know him. Take all his "future talk" and compliments with a grain of salt. No doubt he's attracted, but in these early stages, anything can happen. Feelings can change on a dime, so my best advice is, again, stay grounded, keep things in perspective, pay attention to ACTIONS (not words), and have fun! Good luck! Link to comment
Dahl Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 On a quasi-related note, I always liked a line from a television show in which the protagonist is cautioned (and reasonably so) not to get his hopes up, to which he responds with heart-rending earnestness: "That's what hopes are for." The above posters have given you top rate advice and you strike me as sensible, to boot, so please know that I am in no way advocating feckless, reckless red-flag-eschewing self-destruction. But when you can, as much as you can, enjoy your life. I wish all the best for you. Link to comment
surfdiva Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 I had a great date with a guy last night. We had great conversation and got along really easily. He kept mentioning things about his life and saying stuff like "if you ever come here with me"..etc. On the way home, he asked if I would want to hangout again and I said for sure. Then he texted me later that night and said he thought I was gorgeous, asked if he will get a second date and what I would want to do for a date next time. I got a really good vibe from him. I feel like I am getting too attached to the idea of him eventually being my boyfriend. How should I not keep my hopes up too high?? Whoa....cool your jets there darlin! LOL! This was a first date (was it your first???), I'm sure it was amazing and I'm super stoked for you. Just try your best not to look too far into the future. Take things slooow, get to know him. Keep things realistic but you never know! Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 You can't possibly know who this guy really is after one date. It's great that you have a good time. But that was it. A one time, good time. You go out with him again and you take your time getting to know him. Even a mass murderer can pull off being charming on a 2 hour date! You do not know him and having those 'future boyfriend' ideas already clouds your judgment and sets you up to be really vulnerable and easily taken advantage of. So stop . .now. Slow your roll. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 Just keep in mind that it has only been ONE date. Link to comment
spandora Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 I would take it slow. I had 3 amazing dates with a guy, only to find out he's still hung up on an ex who has BPD and who abuses him. He was still "friends" with her, and last week she went off on him on some crazy text ragefest OVER NOTHING, that sent him spiraling down into a depression so bad, I ended up talking to him about this woman for 7 hours on the phone. No joke. He realized because of getting close to me, that he wasn't ready to date. I have had to walk away and it hurts, even after such a brief period of time, because I could tell he was a great guy, and we had SO much in common. A lot of potential there but it took the 3rd date for me to find out, he is in a messy trainwreck with his ex, still, and I need to walk away. Link to comment
limichelle Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 I'm in the same boat as you OP. I had an amazing first date and second and now the third will be Saturday. I guess we have to realize that these things can develop into a relationship or fall apart early on. Being the eternal optimist romantic, I shoot for it turning into a relationship and I wish the same for you. But we both won't know until more dates. Lisa Link to comment
JaggerJim Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 First date, and your planning a boyfriend. Now on the second date, don't go planning a wedding. :surprise: Link to comment
Lotusavx Posted February 16, 2017 Author Share Posted February 16, 2017 lol that really made me laugh! Link to comment
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