lilacskies Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 I was seeing this guy who cut off all contact recently without officially ending it. We just sort of stopped talking. I got very attached and developed deep feeling for this guy. During our time together he made me to believe the feelings were mutual but commitment wasn't there. He said/did many things that I'm having a hard time getting over. From him saying he loved me to him telling me he was never attracted to me bc of my body; from the soft kisses and caresses to the "love taps" and poking fun at my imperfections that were insecurities. Little things he would do that would build me up but also the things he would do that would bring me down. I never fully felt like myself with him but I still love him. Recently, I started having nightmares about all the awful/amazing things he said/did to me. I say nightmares bc i wake up from them screaming and crying with hands clenched so hard I broke skin. The second night waking up like this I ended up calling a suicide prevention hotline to talk to some one. I felt hopeless like I wasn't even safe from him in my dreams. After talking with the person on the hotline she suggested that he was emotionally abusive and referred me to a website. A lot of the things he would say and do went under this category. I'm still having a hard time believing that it was emotional abuse and not just me being not good enough for him. So Im looking to get professional help from a therapist about it. I shouldn't be having nightmares, or unable to eat, or feeling so worthless bc of my experience with him. He really messed with my head and as much as I try to do things I love or spend time with people who care and move on I can't stop shaking. I can't stop feeling like I'm absolutely nothing bc of the things he said and did to me. I feel like a hollowed out person now. My question is do you think it silly to be seeking professional help to work through a break up? It wasn't like it was a long timeframe but I feel like I can't do this alone this time. I've been through breaks ups before but this one has a different effect on me. I feel like I'm being dramatic going to this length to feel better like I should be able to do it on my own. Am I crazy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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