He blocked me on Valentines Day

[Mm49]

3 months post breakup. I ended it, blocked him, then unblocked because he flipped out and turned all friends against me. He kept stalking me and having third parties watch him and get info about me. Prank calls, visits to my home to leave things at my doorstep and/or take my holiday decorations and door wreaths down. Things really escalated after saw me in person for the first time post breakup on Jan 27. Then he was constantly on FB messenger (previously could never see him), neighbors saw him lurking around my home, items appeared at my door, he followed me to grocery store, and hacked several of my social media accounts. Then I accidentally clicked on a sticker on FB messenger and it sent to him. I didn't want to do it- my phone froze up and I had simultaneously received alert that someone was at my door on surveillance camera, which always scares me. But he is super shy and awkward, so I thought he could see it as olive branch. His actions were how he used to act whenever he wanted to get back in contact with me but was too shy to do it. Days went by, I got calls from weird numbers, my door wreath was taken down, etc, just like usual.

 

He knows that Valentines Day is my favorite holiday. So I was stunned today to see that he blocked me on Facebook. On Valentines Day! Why? Is this just a tactic of his? I've ignored it so far. Think he'll unblock me? I'm so hurt and angry.

[angrythoughts]

I'm so confused!

 

You're upset that he's blocked you on v-day but according to your post you've dumped him and he's stalking you.

 

So you want him back is what you're saying?

 

Maybe I'm slow... I feel like I'm reading this wrong.

[milly007]

I would think that him blocking you and not trying to contact you on FB is a good sign, based on what you posted.

 

Sounds like you for one reason or another may enjoy this unusual attention that you get from him, and now that he's blocked you on FB, as opposed to you blocking him, your ego may be a bit bruised.

 

Do you think it could be your ego feeling the hurt here, OP?

 

Just a thought.

[lostlove76]

Agree with the above. Do you care about this guy and want him back, or no? You broke up with him, ignored all his excessive attempts to get your attentions, and now you're upset that he blocked you?? I sense that this is all about ego on your part and you enjoy being chased. You don't really want him, you just want him to chase you.

[lostlove76]

I was about to ask how old you guys are, but I went and read your other thread and see that he is 35. Not sure how old you are. But my guess for both of you was seriously going to be around 20.

 

You BOTH need to disengage and quit playing these games. If you want him back, why make him go through all these dramatic actions?? Your other thread said you want him back. You're both full of drama. You may not be the one doing all this stuff, but if you yourself didn't enjoy the drama, you wouldn't be enjoying the chase. You obviously enjoy it, or you wouldn't be upset that he's blocked you. So ask yourself - why do you need all this drama in your life? Do you think he can change and become a calm person? I think not, given that he's doing all this at 35. What's going to end up happening is that he's going to end up in jail; I think you said you'd already contacted the police about some surveillance footage. If you're enjoying this so much, why call the police?

 

I'm sorry to be harsh, but I see it as unkind to sit back and watch him go to all these lengths and actually enjoy it. You can't control what he does, and I have no advice on how to make it stop. But you aren't asking how to make it stop - you're asking if we think he'll unblock you. I guess I'm at a loss for words beyond that. Just ask yourself why you find so much enjoyment in this kind of attention, and ask yourself if you're being a kind person to find pleasure in watching him go off the deep end.

[Mm49]

If he had not engaged in all of the games and tricks post-breakup, I would not care. I got some cognitive dissonance because he was always doing something. But he would never reach out directly. He is shy and socially awkward (he admits it) and not good at dating. In fact he just lost his virginity a few years ago. So the increase in activity after he saw me in public did make me miss him but I also had anger because of his stalking of me and hacking my accounts. The anger is when I went to police. But the constant activity by him made me remember our good times and miss him, especially since I ran into him so much. I'm bothered by the blocking because he did it after he tried all these ways to get my attention and because he chose to do it on Valentines Day-my favorite holiday. I was actually more expecting him to contact me directly, not block. Plus I know his games, and fear this is not the end. Does it seem like he picked Valentines Day as a way to hurt me?

[lostlove76]

I'm sure he did it in retaliation, yes - you hurt him with rejection, so he's hurting you with rejection.

 

This is soooo unhealthy, and like I said, he's going to end up in jail. Especially if you resort to calling the police when you feel angry. His behaviors are excessive and I'm not condoning them, but you seem to want him to do it, so how can we really judge him for it? You can't have it both ways. You can't want the attention but then get mad about it, just as you can't get mad about it and then get upset when it stops. If you want him back, why make him jump through hoops? Taking down Christmas decorations is extremely immature, btw - again, something a 20-year-old would do, not a 35-year-old. But if you want him back, just take him back! Don't sit back and enjoy all this, then call he police and watch as he gets arrested. I'm sorry, but that just makes no sense.

[Mm49]

I'm sure he did it in retaliation, yes - you hurt him with rejection, so he's hurting you with rejection.

 

This is soooo unhealthy, and like I said, he's going to end up in jail. Especially if you resort to calling the police when you feel angry. His behaviors are excessive and I'm not condoning them, but you seem to want him to do it, so how can we really judge him for it? You can't have it both ways. You can't want the attention but then get mad about it, just as you can't get mad about it and then get upset when it stops. If you want him back, why make him jump through hoops? Taking down Christmas decorations is extremely immature, btw - again, something a 20-year-old would do, not a 35-year-old. But if you want him back, just take him back! Don't sit back and enjoy all this, then call he police and watch as he gets arrested. I'm sorry, but that just makes no sense.

 

I don't think I made him jump through hoops because all he had to do was reach out to me directly like an adult. I conveyed this to the third parties he sent. I wish he would've contacted me that way, not all of his excessive and immature actions of taking down decorations. He even sent one of his friends to take down my decorations and the friend busted up my surveillance camera too.

 

Is there any way to improve the situation? As in, any hope? I wonder if the blocking was purely to get a reaction out of me?

I'm not giving to contact him now, but do you think he'll unblock me? I realize it is very unhealthy, particularly the shenanigans he's done and hacking my accounts. I guess I'm just wishful that we could work it out. However, I see that his actions (including those while we were together) aren't exactly pointing towards a man who is capable of talking things out and resolving conflict. A big reason I ended things was because he played games to avoid heart to heart talks.

 

I just want to feel better!

[lostlove76]

I don't think I made him jump through hoops because all he had to do was reach out to me directly like an adult. I conveyed this to the third parties he sent. I wish he would've contacted me that way, not all of his excessive and immature actions of taking down decorations. He even sent one of his friends to take down my decorations and the friend busted up my surveillance camera too.

 

Is there any way to improve the situation? As in, any hope? I wonder if the blocking was purely to get a reaction out of me?

I'm not giving to contact him now, but do you think he'll unblock me? I realize it is very unhealthy, particularly the shenanigans he's done and hacking my accounts. I guess I'm just wishful that we could work it out. However, I see that his actions (including those while we were together) aren't exactly pointing towards a man who is capable of talking things out and resolving conflict. A big reason I ended things was because he played games to avoid heart to heart talks.

 

I just want to feel better!

 

To be honest, he doesn't sound capable of maturity. I think if you want him back, you'll just have to give in to his attention-seeking bahaviors. And then what? Is he capable of being calm and mature and sweet while actually in the relationship, and just goes off the deep end when separated? If so, and you want to be with him, then just get back together. He's not going to mature overnight and come to you for reconciliation in the way that you wish he would. He's experiencing a lot of anxiety, and probably some control issues, and isn't thinking clearly. I don't really see how he could be stable within a relationship, either, but you would know better than I. To be clear, I'm not recommending you get back with him. Trashing property and involving friends is EXTREMELY immature and disfunctional, not to mention illegal. But you don't seem to mind so much, so I'm not going to tell you not to be with him. You know exactly what you're in for, and you're capable of making an adult decision about that. This is probably horrible advice lol. I should tell you to drop him, but I can see that this isn't what you want to do. So I'm just trying to show you what it looks like from the outside, and you can make your own decisions from there. As for what he'll do - I don't imagine that this is the end of his efforts. He'll keep doing what he's done.

 

I'm sorry you feel bad though. I do understand that part, at least

[MissCanuck]

This man is mentally disturbed.

 

You need to stay away from him, and get some professional help to figure out why you think he is a candidate for reconciliation at all. I mean that in the kindest way possible, OP.

 

This isn't normal.