aMolloy Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 I have been with my boyfriend - ex now I guess - for just short of 2 years. We have, of course, had out share of problems but nothing we haven't been able to get through. Including a 2 week break up at one point. Things have been great and despite the odd week or so every couple of months of bickering we haven't had major issues until this New Year. He has never been one to be able to deal with stress very well and seeing as this year is his final year in college, he's under more stress than usual. Since the start of the new year, things have started to get rocky with more bickering than usual and him being complete polar opposites with me. Either totally into me and telling me I'm the best thing to happen to him. Or else the other end of the scale and him not wanting to speak to me or see me for days at a time. But, being the madly in love loyal little puppy I am, I was always there no matter what. Ready to sort out anything that was thrown at us and move forward in our relationship. Then, everything started to change when he was interviewed for, offered and accepted a job in Scotland. We currently live in Ireland and I still have a year of college ahead of me so a long distance relationship was on the cards from the word go. I tried my best to be supportive, putting on a brave face and telling him to choose what he thought he needed to do for his career. One night last week, it all kicked off when a conversation about him moving away got out out of hand and the situation escalated into the worst argument we've ever had (read: broken glasses and LOTS of tears and shouting). He ended things on the spot, saying it wouldn't work out when he went away and that there would be too much stress and upset. Two days later we met up to have a calmer conversation. I stated my case about wanting to try things long distance and that I couldn't live with thinking 'what if' and that if we tried and it didn't work, at least we'd know. After 3 hours of back and forth, he decided he wanted to try again. Since then, he's mentioned another couple of times that he's not sure we made the right decision but ultimately cuddled me every time, assuring me everything would be okay. We even went to a college ball between then and now and I posted the photos on social media, getting comments from friends and family about how cute we are together and how lovely we look. Today is Valentine's Day and we had made plans to get a takeaway and play oldschool video games all night, a quiet night together. When he arrived at my house to pick me up, everything seemed absolutely fine. We kissed as he came in and I told him about my day as we hadn't spoken since the morning as we were both busy with work and school all day. I gave him his present (a small bit thoughtful present including things that are sentimental to our relationship) and his whole demeanour changed. He tensed up and his face dropped. I asked him what we wrong and he told me he didn't feel right about upsetting me anymore and that I deserved a lot better than him. I tried to assure him I wasn't upset and he started tearing up. I tried to comfort him but he burst into tears. I was so confused but all he kept saying that he was sorry and that he's a terrible person. I tried to talk sense into him but he wasn't having any of it and told me it needed to be over. Then he left and I am still in shock. I feel like there's a huge knot in my stomach and that everything is falling apart. I love him more than I can even explain and I can't get my head around it all, especially when everything was relatively alright before our big blowout fight. Now I don't know which way to turn and other than my friends, the only person I can think of who I want to speak to and have comfort me is him which is making me feel ten times worse. I've tried calling him to speak about it but he won't answer the phone and has already changed his profile picture and relationship status on Facebook. (Not a huge deal, I know, but I still stings that it was so quick after) I feel like an idiot for being so excited about our night tonight, even telling my friends out plans. I fixed my hair and did my makeup and dressed nicely too as I wanted to make an effort for the occasion. I'm so crushed by this and feel lost as he truly was my rock. Any tips on losing your best friend, partner and lover all in one? Has anything like this happened to anyone else and how did you deal with it? Looking for anything to give me a little day of hope that this pain will end because all I want to do now is crawl into bed and not come out until it stops hurting so much. Link to comment
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