I asked if she's free and she asked "why"

[Rae1234567891]

I had some small talk with a girl and I'm trying to ask her out on a date. I asked "what are you up for sunday?" and she replied "why?". What should I say back?

[Wiseman2]

Hey..."why" is better than no, right? Follow it up with this or similar: "I like to take you {for dinner, a movie, drinks, whatever}".

I had some small talk with a girl and I'm trying to ask her out on a date. I asked "what are you up for sunday?" and she replied "why?". What should I say back?

[Scoe141]

Tell her you're writing a book.

 

Seriously, don't say that. Just follow up with "I was wondering if you would be interested in grabbing coffee, tea, dessert etc." If you sense trepidation then leave it be.

 

Good luck.

[j.man]

I know this is a pretty edgy idea, but you could go ahead and tell her why.

[DancingFool]

You should say I'm asking to see if you are free for a date with me. This is not complicated.

[JaggerJim]

Do you think she likes you? Usually when a girl says "Why" it's because she already knows what your going to say.

 

If she was keen, she'd probably say she wasn't doing anything. She'd show interest for you to ask. Did she show interest?

 

You can ask her, but I bet she comes up with an excuse. Just a gut feeling.

[Dahl]

I know this is a pretty edgy idea, but you could go ahead and tell her why.

 

There's simply no way to know unless you see it through. Do you still care to ask her out?

 

Good luck to you, whatever you decide.

[DancingFool]

Do you think she likes you? Usually when a girl says "Why" it's because she already knows what your going to say.

 

If she was keen, she'd probably say she wasn't doing anything. She'd show interest for you to ask. Did she show interest?

 

You can ask her, but I bet she comes up with an excuse. Just a gut feeling.

 

Here is a suggestion: Never ever make ^these kind of self defeating assumptions. Instead be straightforward, ask for what you want boldly and with confidence (it's sexy) and deal with the acceptance or rejection like a man, ie always with courtesy and respect.

 

If she says yes, you have a date. If she says no, you are exactly in the same place you were just a moment ago, dateless. Keep in mind also that getting rejected is actually a sort of advantage to you in that you know to move your focus away from someone who is not interested and on to greener pastures and a girl who actually is. Stops you from wasting time on time wasters.

[abitbroken]

Never do that. Say "would you like to go to the movies on Sunday"

 

I would never answer an "are you free at X" question, because then someone could say "good, so you can mow my lawn" or rope you into watching their nephew or volunteering for something you hate.

 

I always ask "why do you ask?"

[Naomi99]

I have a friend who would ask "Are you busy next Thursday?"

and I would say, "Not really."

 

Then she would say, "Cool…can you babysit baby timothy?"

 

It's a manipulation trap.

[abitbroken]

I have a friend who would ask "Are you busy next Thursday?"

and I would say, "Not really."

 

Then she would say, "Cool…can you babysit baby timothy?"

 

It's a manipulation trap.

 

^^^^ Exactly. its a loaded gun.

[Matt3939]

I asked "what are you up for sunday?" and she replied "why?". What should I say back? ("Cause you all ready got me up" then open your raincoat. Done. I'd say drop the mic but you bought the cheap coat and it has very shallow pockets.

[reinventmyself]

When I was in my 20s I was crazy about this guy I was dating and he used to ask me what my plans were all the time.

Until I wised up I would answer him thinking he was about to ask me out.

 

He did half the time and other times I was left holding the bag, so to speak.

Imagine 20yr old me: 'What am I doing tonight? Nothing' . .end of conversation. uhg

 

So having given it some thought, if a man asked me that question, I might ask 'why' as well.

When she put it back on you, what was your response?

[angrythoughts]

I know this is a pretty edgy idea, but you could go ahead and tell her why.

 

I can't 😂.

 

Tell her why and see what happens. Don't be offended by it. She's probably just wondering.

[lostlove76]

You have to be more assertive. No one likes to risk rejection, but confidence is sexy. When I was younger, I really liked this shy guy at my work. We would always chat at breaks, and he always asked me what I was doing later. I always said "probably going downtown" because I didn't want to seem like I had no life (and I did actually go downtown, I wasn't just making it up - but it was just something to do, and if asked to do something else I would have been up for it). This went on practically every day for weeks, until he finally asked me if I wanted to hang out. And I said yes! I just needed him to ask me. I thought maybe he was just being friendly and conversational when he was asking me what I was doing later.

 

So give it a shot! Ask her more directly if she wants to go do something. If she says no, just play it cool like it's no biggie.

[Scoe141]

You have to be more assertive. No one likes to risk rejection, but confidence is sexy. When I was younger, I really liked this shy guy at my work. We would always chat at breaks, and he always asked me what I was doing later. I always said "probably going downtown" because I didn't want to seem like I had no life (and I did actually go downtown, I wasn't just making it up - but it was just something to do, and if asked to do something else I would have been up for it). This went on practically every day for weeks, until he finally asked me if I wanted to hang out. And I said yes! I just needed him to ask me. I thought maybe he was just being friendly and conversational when he was asking me what I was doing later.

 

Oh man, I was waiting for an ending. Like you two got married, etc.

[lostlove76]

Oh man, I was waiting for an ending. Like you two got married, etc.

 

Haha. We didn't get married, but we did date and then live together! It turned into a terrible situation, but I'll spare you the details.