Snny Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 If this is in the wrong forum category, I do apologize. So after being with my husband for 12 years and FINALLY having stable jobs, we are thinking about trying for a baby. I'm a little happy about it, but feel more overwhelmed by it. Just one problem: I have a tremendous fear of hospitals. My husband use to work at a hospital, so one would think I have overcome my fear of it, right? Wrong. I refused to visit my husband's work except for one occasion of bringing him dinner (and it took a LOT of courage for me to go). I literally had raised heart rate and shakes from just sitting in the parking lot. Husband does not know about that because I didn't want to look like a coward in front of his coworkers and make him look bad. My irrational fear stemmed from a traumatic experience as a five year old. My uncle died from AIDS virus and my lasting memory of him was seeing him sick and dying in a hospital bed with no concept of death (my family honestly thought he would make it). I had a very difficult time processing death for a few years after that incident. The same year, my aunt was in a devestating car accident that gave her severe traumatic brain injury (TBI) that she is permanently in a wheelchair and under nursing care. So I view hospitals as a place of death or a place of near death. I only went to the hospital after getting a concussion from an abusive ex boyfriend, which serves as another bad memory. My question is how do I overcome this fear before getting pregnant? I had two friends who recently delivered two beautiful babies but they had complications along the way and are still recovering. Not feeling that... I prefer adoption because I'm a wuss over hospitals and surgeries but my husband really wants his own child. He is ok with having two kids as long as one of them is biologically ours. Oh and in case anyone is wondering, I'm in my early 30's. So yea, time to make a decision. Link to comment
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