Possibly oversharing then again oh well

[bria96]

I'm actually so hesitant to post on here because on my last post I feel like I was judged for cheating on an ex who continues to emotionally manipulate me into keeping him in my life. Because I was sexually abused as a child I've always been drawn to it and unfortunately as I got older I began using it to cope. Just a few weeks ago I was assaulted by someone that had nothing but cruel intentions towards me and I'm finally cutting him off after six months. I'm also trying to cut things off with my ex because I've hurt him dozens of times because I'm hurting on the inside. Even my own mother blamed me for the assault and I have no type of support so it's hard for me to walk away from toxic relationships. I'm doing my best to be strong for myself and I don't want to hurt anyone anymore I know I can be toxic even to the people I care about because sometimes I do it unintentionally but the effects are lasting. I just want to be selfish in the right ways and finally move forward.

[reinventmyself]

I just want to be selfish in the right ways and finally move forward.

 

That's a start. The fact that you want to change is a good sign too.

Stay away from people that mean you harm. Be on your own for while and learn to be self sufficient.

You'll make wiser choices in who you associate with and won't settle for less.

[Seraphim]

I am so sorry. ONLY the criminal is responsible for a crime. NEVER you. Is there anyway you can get counselling services? ( I myself was sexually abused as a kid and assaulted as an adult.)

[Wiseman2]

Toxic relationships can bring out the worst in anyone. You may be lashing out, right? You need someplace to walk to when you walk away from toxicity. Make sure you have goals and direction. School? Work? or finding those. Have a calling, a direction. Make sure you tie up any vulnerabilities the wrong people could take advantage of such as a drug habit or being jobless or homeless. Be solid.

 

Go to places where there are healthy rather than toxic people. Volunteer in an animal shelter, join some free clubs and groups that are about things that interest you and attract good decent people. Bond with good people to support you. Distance yourself from those who bring you down. Cut out losers and users asap.

emotionally manipulate me into keeping him in my life. I'm finally cutting him off after six months. I'm also trying to cut things off with my ex because I've hurt him dozens of times because I'm hurting on the inside.

[bria96]

I am so sorry. ONLY the criminal is responsible for a crime. NEVER you. Is there anyway you can get counselling services? ( I myself was sexually abused as a kid and assaulted as an adult.)

 

Yeah I qualify for victim of crime services because I was ran over a few months ago. I'm sorry for you as well I definitely feel for you... I've seen one counselor however it was a male and he made me uncomfortable but I'm looking into another one. Has counseling helped you

[bria96]

Toxic relationships can bring out the worst in anyone. You may be lashing out, right? You need someplace to walk to when you walk away from toxicity. Make sure you have goals and direction. School? Work? or finding those. Have a calling, a direction. Make sure you tie up any vulnerabilities the wrong people could take advantage of such as a drug habit or being jobless or homeless. Be solid.

 

Go to places where there are healthy rather than toxic people. Volunteer in an animal shelter, join some free clubs and groups that are about things that interest you and attract good decent people. Bond with good people to support you. Distance yourself from those who bring you down. Cut out losers and users asap.

 

I work 2 jobs and I'm in college getting 2 degrees when I graduate in may, actually petitioning in a few days but I find time for the bs. I want to do social services and teaching after I transfer. I write letters to transgender individuals in prison on Tuesdays I have direction in life I also have a lot of unaddressed trauma.... not making an excuse but I'm starting to realize what's brought me here

[Seraphim]

Yeah I qualify for victim of crime services because I was ran over a few months ago. I'm sorry for you as well I definitely feel for you... I've seen one counselor however it was a male and he made me uncomfortable but I'm looking into another one. Has counseling helped you

 

Absolutely. I have had years of counselling and all different types of methods. I would say I am 1000% times better.

[abitbroken]

I work 2 jobs and I'm in college getting 2 degrees when I graduate in may, actually petitioning in a few days but I find time for the bs. I want to do social services and teaching after I transfer. I write letters to transgender individuals in prison on Tuesdays I have direction in life I also have a lot of unaddressed trauma.... not making an excuse but I'm starting to realize what's brought me here

 

I suggest that if in your personal life you have trauma and drama and toxicity, that you not write to inmates. It may be tempting for you because you feel people in your direct life don't really care, that you will latch on to someone who may also be very manipulative. For now, you want to seek counseling and only strive to interact people who are positive, forward moving and healthy. Having a relationship with inmates is not something to do right now.

[bria96]

I suggest that if in your personal life you have trauma and drama and toxicity, that you not write to inmates. It may be tempting for you because you feel people in your direct life don't really care, that you will latch on to someone who may also be very manipulative. For now, you want to seek counseling and only strive to interact people who are positive, forward moving and healthy. Having a relationship with inmates is not something to do right now.

 

I hear you I really do... but I work with a justice program dismantling the prison system and sending resources, information, possibly visiting inmates all over the country. I don't even sign the letters, they send questions about the program, surgeries, places they can go when they get out. I speak to them once each, they don't know anything except that Im a volunteer.

[Capricorn3]

I also have a lot of unaddressed trauma....

I think the only thing that can help you is professional counseling/therapy. If you don't get help to sort out these issues, you'll carry it with you wherever you go for the rest of your life and nothing good will come out of it. You need to address these issues. Get professional help.