What would you do?

[lucasargeseanu]

My ex-girlfriend is in a rebound relationship with a guy and still kept texting you, talks about me being "the whole package" but couldn't make it work because of her problems ( that she insists on working out by going to a therapist ) and talks about how she thinks of making love to me as the new relationship sucks on that matter.

She left the country for a month to see her brother and is currently away from that guy. I am dwelling on the thought of going NO CONTACT or Limited Contact as both sound good in some way for the present situation she is in.

Maybe if I keep talking the month is is away , I'll get her back..

Or maybe if I give No CONTACT ( as she doesn't have so many memories and things to think about with that guy) she will think a lot of me and come back.

 

Opinions?

[RainyCoast]

i think if you want to win back a person who

1. doesn't want to be with you

2. has issues that demand lots of therapy and time to improve

3. is proving they have no issue with emotional cheating

 

you would benefit from seeing a counselor yourself.

 

 

you have other choices too:

1. blocking her for good and moving on

or

2. accepting the relationship as bad or worse than it has been before, or the current limbo. and with choices come consequences so when you sign up for a choice you sign up for results. so if you choose to continue involvement with her then you are choosing her simultaneous involvement with new guy or other guys, her behavior unmodified by therapy, her treatment of you as a backburner option.

[Wiseman2]

It would be best to call him "her bf" rather than rationalize and minimize this in your mind call him "the rebound". That assumes it's short term and she'll come back to you. Does she want to get back together?

Maybe if I keep talking the month is is away , I'll get her back..Or maybe if I give No CONTACT she will think a lot of me and come back.

[DancingFool]

If you are such a whole package she wouldn't have left you and started dating someone else. Nothing stopping her from seeking therapy for her issues while continuing to be with you.

 

Anyway, what she will do with you, she will do to you. Keep that mind when she is badmouthing her current bf and his sexual prowess or lack of to you.

 

Break ups are hard, but this one might be a blessing in disguise. Your instinct to block her is correct. Just do it for the sake of moving on rather than getting her back. From the sounds of it, not a girl you really want to be with in the long term.