relationship advice

[Pixie101]

Where to start.. well I've been dating a male for over a year. He is 26 years of age I am 24. We have had so many issues but here is just an overview I am looking for advice. My boyfriend earns a lot more than i do a considerable amount, however I find him financially relying on me. Last year I paid for a £400 weekend away in England for valentines he did not contribute a thing not even food. It's got worse, I either pay for all our trips out or he takes every penny off me for stuff I need even if it's £1 for a magazine. We never go out for meals where he treats me it's always i pay or we go half on the bill one in which he always orders a lot more than me. Last weekend I got invited out for a meal for my dads birthday when it came to pay my boyfriend did not offer to even open his wallet he sat there and watched as i put both our meals on my card, however he made sure he ordered the most expensive thing. There has been times where my boyfriend cancels me

All the time for his mates, if we arrange to do something and then his mate asks.. I will get cancelled so he can go out for that. I feel like I play the male in the relationship I buy him clothes, I feed him, I lend him money, I surprise him with gifts and I get nothing in return. At the beginning of our relationship I found him sending naked selfies to another girl with his top off.. when o question this his answer is " you don't get it, she was my work mate and all the males send her these pictures". I find he argues with me for the slightest thing he can never be wrong. Recently I have been quite ill I work at a stressful job and found myself being admitted to the ER with high blood pressure. I have recently lost my brother and I think it's all come on top of me. I found the best option for me whilst I recover is to quit my job and find something a little less stressful. My boyfriend however begs to differ he advised me I can't be out of employment il be " fine" with my health and I can't go for a les stressful job as a receptionist or something as it's not a good high end well paying job. Bearing in mind I have been quite poorly and he has not once mentioned my illness, other than pushing me to find anew job. I also found he bad mouths me to his friends, and I feel I get no affection he never tells me I look nice and to be honest I used to be one of these girls who liked dressing up and making an effort. Now I walk around the house in my trackies.. as I never receive any compliments from him. I find I have lost interest in our sex life as it's boring and he only has time for me when his mates are not available. I'm not looking for someone to cherish me in gifts etc, i just feel one day it would be nice to be appreciated back. I'm guessing not everyone has the same heart as you. I find when we argue and I explain that I've been grieving and how I feel he just treats me as a friend all I get back is " I don't have anything to say" nothing else just that. I feel our relationship is going no where I asked him about the future, what was his goals he said he never wants to get married nor does he never want to have kids. Obviously this is something I want? Please can someone advise me?

[RainyCoast]

so the description of this relationship being less attractive than a toxic waste dump, what is keeping you there?

[j.man]

There are plenty of warm bodies in the world if that's simply all it takes to qualify.

 

Are you living under his roof or something? Because for the life of me I can't see a single benefit to you here. If you're seriously asking whether or not to stay, I think you owe it to yourself to leave and spend a looooooong time being single. Maybe even consider therapy.

[CSM101]

so the description of this relationship being less attractive than a toxic waste dump, what is keeping you there?

 

I concur. Unless you like the toxicity. I dunno.

[Wiseman2]

You are doing this voluntarily to hang on to him, no? It seems the payoff for you is playing the martyr and victim. It's been a year. You can leave if you want to, right? Are you hoping to fix him or change him or buy his affection?

I buy him clothes, I feed him, I lend him money, I surprise him with gifts and I get nothing in return. At the beginning of our relationship I found him sending naked selfies to another girl with his top off.

[Pixie101]

Where to start.. well I've been dating a male for over a year. He is 26 years of age I am 24. We have had so many issues but here is just an overview I am looking for advice. My boyfriend earns a lot more than i do a considerable amount, however I find him financially relying on me. Last year I paid for a £400 weekend away in England for valentines he did not contribute a thing not even food. It's got worse, I either pay for all our trips out or he takes every penny off me for stuff I need even if it's £1 for a magazine. We never go out for meals where he treats me it's always i pay or we go half on the bill one in which he always orders a lot more than me. Last weekend I got invited out for a meal for my dads birthday when it came to pay my boyfriend did not offer to even open his wallet he sat there and watched as i put both our meals on my card, however he made sure he ordered the most expensive thing. There has been times where my boyfriend cancels me

All the time for his mates, if we arrange to do something and then his mate asks.. I will get cancelled so he can go out for that. I feel like I play the male in the relationship I buy him clothes, I feed him, I lend him money, I surprise him with gifts and I get nothing in return. At the beginning of our relationship I found him sending naked selfies to another girl with his top off.. when o question this his answer is " you don't get it, she was my work mate and all the males send her these pictures". I find he argues with me for the slightest thing he can never be wrong. Recently I have been quite ill I work at a stressful job and found myself being admitted to the ER with high blood pressure. I have recently lost my brother and I think it's all come on top of me. I found the best option for me whilst I recover is to quit my job and find something a little less stressful. My boyfriend however begs to differ he advised me I can't be out of employment il be " fine" with my health and I can't go for a les stressful job as a receptionist or something as it's not a good high end well paying job. Bearing in mind I have been quite poorly and he has not once mentioned my illness, other than pushing me to find anew job. I also found he bad mouths me to his friends, and I feel I get no affection he never tells me I look nice and to be honest I used to be one of these girls who liked dressing up and making an effort. Now I walk around the house in my trackies.. as I never receive any compliments from him. I find I have lost interest in our sex life as it's boring and he only has time for me when his mates are not available. I'm not looking for someone to cherish me in gifts etc, i just feel one day it would be nice to be appreciated back. I'm guessing not everyone has the same heart as you. I find when we argue and I explain that I've been grieving and how I feel he just treats me as a friend all I get back is " I don't have anything to say" nothing else just that. I feel our relationship is going no where I asked him about the future, what was his goals he said he never wants to get married nor does he never want to have kids. Obviously this is something I want? Please can someone advise me? I am

Hoping to fix his behaviour but not sure how?

[RainyCoast]

if you want to quote a post to reply to it, click the "reply with quote" option below that post, bottom right corner. then just type away after the closing brackets of the quote. hope that helps.

[Wiseman2]

Stop mommying him and being a victim.

Hoping to fix his behaviour but not sure how?

[melodysparks]

You have to know the answer here. DTMFA (dump the motherf**ker already