pinklamb Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 Me and my boyfriend have been dating for two and half years, but lately I feel like he's getting bored of me. We constantly tell each other I love you, always. But I feel like I can't trust him anymore. It breaks my heart to even say that, but he just lies to me all the time. Very recently, we were sitting together at the dinner table eating dinner and text from a phone number with not our area code popped up. He said it was a friend that he made at school. I asked if it was his male friend and he said yes. I later found out after prying some information and knowing his lying face, that it was a girl. She did not go to his school and they did not meet at school like he said. They met on the dating app Tinder; my boyfriend says he goes on there looking for friends (this is not the first time he's done this). I feel very uncomfortable with that and I told him. He obviously didn't seem to care and continues to talk to this girl. I said that multiple times and since then I feel like her presence and the fact that he lied to me about her is ruining our relationship. I have no idea what to do; I still love him and I don't at all want to leave him after everything we've been through. I also have depression and I had a panic attack when I found out all this information that he was lying to me about. He didn't do anything but stare at me. I know this is wrong, but I can understand his embarassment when I yelled in his house. He says hes just trying to make friends and I offered to help him find friends because Tinder is not the way to find them. He says he shouldn't have to stop being friends with this girl just because I say so. Am I wrong for telling him to get rid of his friend because of the way they started talking? (and let me be pretty clear by saying, he only started talking to this girl not so long ago.) Is he jeopardizing our relationship? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gebaird Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 Using Tinder to make friends is about as believable as using an online dating site to find a taxi. Nope, it's not okay for him to be talking to this girl and if you want a monogamous relationship, I'd give the guy an ultimatum. You may lose him, but at least you'll keep your self-respect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 Girl, come on. You know he didn't join Tinder to look for "friends". You are deep in denial, though I believe you are coming to your senses now. His behavior is unacceptable. He's looking for a side piece and he got caught. First he lied, and now he's trying to make you feel bad about it. That makes it even worse. Your relationship is over in all but name. He doesn't respect you and isn't committed. Don't waste any more time with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leseine7 Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 I mean, I'm all for making new friends, but can't he join meetup.com or some local volunteer groups or something? Look, I get the whole "I love him and we've been through so much" thing. I went through the same thing with my ex, who lied, was also hunting around on dating sites and pretty much broke every deal breaker I had. This relationship you're in is most likely going to end, because your boyfriend for sure is not using Tinder for innocent reasons, can't be real with you and is leading a double life. I mean, I'm obviously making that assessment from your post. But it's not good and having a panic attack over someone you're with is pretty much an indicator to you that something is tragically wrong between you both. You decide what your wake up call is going to be - the information you already have (which is plenty), or finding out more. But if I were in your shoes I wouldn't wait around to become more paranoid, or find my boyfriend in bed with someone new. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 He is looking for friends on Tinder.....lol.....I'm sorry but that is just hilarious. As far as lies go like he isn't even trying. He is pretty much telling you to your face he is out dating and hunting for someone else and has an active profile on a hook up site. I am really sorry, but your relationship is over and it would be best that you dump him today. Spare yourself some dignity and self respect and walk away from this brewing mess. You don't want to wait to the point where people come up to you and go "hey didn't I see your bf out on a date with some other girl the other day? Are you aware?" Your bf is too much of a coward to actually end things with you cleanly before he runs off chasing someone new. He isn't worth your company and time anymore. I think you can do so much better than him and will find a better man, once you are good and ready. Just don't waste any more of your time on this guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 He says he shouldn't have to stop being friends with this girl just because I say so. Am I wrong for telling him to get rid of his friend because of the way they started talking? Yes, you're wrong for telling him to "get rid of his friend" simply because if he had any respect for you, he wouldn't have done this in the first place. You're not only beating a dead horse, you're attempting to take on the role of raising him, which is not what you signed up for. With that being said, I'd tell him to enjoy his friends from Tinder followed by, Good Riddance! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 FB is for friends, Tinder is for dating or hookups. He's cheating and lying and doesn't care. "All you've been through"? Cut your losses, don't think of being cheated on repeatedly, lied to and disrespected as "building a relationship".They met on the dating app Tinder; my boyfriend says he goes on there looking for friends this is not the first time he's done this. He obviously didn't seem to care and continues to talk to this girl. I don't at all want to leave him after everything we've been through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Blaze Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 let him have his friends. Go find someone who will treat you better. This guy is no good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abesherman Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 There is a app called patalk he should be using that instead of tinder. Patalk has a very big restrict no flirting policy. It's ment to make friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spinderella Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Nobody uses Tinder to make friends. Also nobody would expect their gf to stay with them after finding out they were on Tinder. Nobody. Not anybody. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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