Crazy thing called love and confusion

[jarsofclay]

Hello friends,

 

I met this girl five years ago while mentoring on a subject in the university and immediately fell for her. I was 24 at the moment and she was 19. Being single, I really wanted try my luck and see if she was intrested. Actually, I was suppose to give a small lecture to the new students but i decided to conduct an extra tutoring session so that I could get to know her better. As she wasn't from the country I am from and came there to study for next three years, I searched some intresting brands of chocolates from her country so that I could start a chat. Although, I never cared about that particular chocolate, I told her I really like that particular brand from her country. She told me " oh that is so cool, if someone is coming from there, I am going to order it for you" with a kind gesture. Couple of days later, I saw that exact brand of chocolate on my table. I thanked her and asked her to the dinner. She told me that she would love to but her boyfriend since 6 months is there and he was the one to bring me that brand of chocolate. I was extremely sad but I said "Oh well that's how life is" and moved on.

Days went by. We became great friends. She came to my place. We drank together, ate dinner together, watched movies as regular friends, no romantic relation was involved. Then came a day, in a bar, I saw her kissing her boyfriend and on the same evening I met another girl and began dating her and in few weeks, I was romantically involved with this new girl. However, with the first girl, we still chatted, talked normally like before, she remembered all important dates for me , asked me regularly how my relationship is going etc.

But my luck is strange. The next girl was an exchange student as well and after two years together, she went back and we still had long distance relationship for another two years and then we mutually broke because of the time and distance, love faded away and I was single again. The first girl meanwhile until this time was my best friend. I could talk to her about anything and she would give me great advice and loved me as a friend and she was back to her country after completing her studies. One day she told me she wasn't happy with her boyfriend and they were separating. I was quite sad because by this time, that romantic feeling about her had already vanished away. Then came a time, when she asked me if it was right for her to break with her boyfriend, and under the circumstances and the reason that she told me, I suggested her to do it because I thought it was best for her and she did it.

We were both single and chatted further as regular friends. One day she told me she hooked up with a guy after a party having a freedom from her old relationship and suddenly on that very day, a strange jealousy struck upon me. I was extremely sad. One day, I collected my energy, and decided to tell everything because I was very confused at this point. I told her that, I really found her beautiful and if she were single five years ago, I would have asked her for a date with me because it was almost like a love at the first sight . She immediately replied , she always found me attractive but never had courage to tell me either because she was in dilemma between her boyfriend and me in her life and also told me she was coming to my country from her country in a week because she made few plans with her girl friends and wanted to meet me when she was there.

I invited her to my place for a dinner on the first evening of her visit and we drank few drinks like good old days. There was no strange feelings, nothing. She brought me that particular brand of chocolate again. However, after all these years, I told her honestly that I faked that chocolate story to start the conversation and told her that I was sad when I found she had a boyfriend. I also told her the whole story clearly. Something glew on her face, and she hugged me and we kissed for the first time. We slept together with no awkward feelings. She told me however honestly, if I had tried on her few years back, she would have rejected even she were single because she didn't know me well but she does now and she is happy. On the next day, she just left because she had to spent time with her girl friends too as planned before and was sad to leave me, although she couldn't change her plans suddenly now. When she left on the next day, on that particular moment , I had no feelings at all but during that day I felt very lonely and missed her. I told her that. She told me she is going to come visit me soon. She told me she loves me and feels safe with me. She then again left back and she wanted to meet with me in the airport but I told her I am very bad at saying good byes and kindly asked her to save our memories of the lovely night we spent together for the day in which we will again meet for a longer time or forever. Since she is from the neighbouring country, I am quite hopeful that I am going to meet her again. But I am very confused about all that has happend. What is really going on? .. Am I a bad person to create this mixed feelings in her heart? I don't want to loose her as a friend but I am confused about what is yet to come.

[gebaird]

I think this sounds like the beginning of a great romance. Making the transition from friendship to love shouldn't be too hard. The biggest obstacle in your way is the distance. Although it's early in the relationship, long distance is best if it's only temporary. If there's a chance you can someday move to her country or she can move to yours, it certainly seems like something worth pursuing.

[jarsofclay]

Hello gebaird,

I think you are absolutely right. The only problem in between us is the distance. But the things has gone strangely back to old friendship days. We hardly chat anymore or chat romantically. Basically, it is because we are quite busy in our lives. Anyways, I suppose i should just let the time decide what comes to my life. I am still confused about what really happend. I hope everythings turns out fine.