justshine1 Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 So I'm dating this guy.....he's very complex. And it's confusing me. Long story short.... he says he's normally used to no phone calls....seeing a girl very little and texting once in a while to see if one another is alive. Well ....he's going on vacation in a few days .... weeks ago I asked what day he leaves he said the 16th. I asked well what are you doing the 14th he said working but I'm off at night....why are you looking for a vday date? I said maybe baby. ...he said okay well maybe I can see you that evening. But then last week I asked again what his travel dates were....he said he leave the 14th.... confused I told him if our conversation and he said nope...must be mistaken. ( this is either....true....a lie....or he's made plans with someone esle) Anyways we've had a discussion about his lack of efforts...or seeing me so little....one a week or once every 11 days or so. He says he's busy....which I know his work schedule if insane and he does have family friends and activities too. I just don't feel very prioritizes. However he has been trying. .... texts me every day and such. I didn't know what his dating past habits was like until a few days ago. I just thought he was just not interested but now after talking with him I can see he's really trying. But it seems there's been a lot of mini arguments....or disagreements or differences of opinions if you can call it that. I feel I'm over thinking everything because I'm not used to this kind of dating paterns. And have never met a man who does it his way. ( mind u we've only been dating 6 weeks) he's only ever had 1 real gf who he loved which was the one similar to him in the very Lil contact way.) Every other girl he told them how he is from the getcho and they would run. but with me went about it a different way because he said he was ready and really wanted to try with me. So......... we had that discussion this week....because I had said let's try texting more and he didn't like that. Then I decided to wait and let him ask to see me. Which he did Friday. We went out for a great dinner came back cuddled and talked . It went very well and I was happy and content after with where we were. That night he said he was free the rest of the weekend so I asked if he's like to sleep over sat night and hang with me all Sunday. He said sure! He texted me when he got home and said it was nice seeing me that he'll see me tomorrow. So then yesterday (sat) he worked morning. I texted him at 11. He replied at 1. Saying Him****I'm having THE ABSOLUTE tiest day ever! I'm so ing mad. I got rear ended this friggin morning RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY WORK!!!!! Like this ing idiot was going so fast behind me, I slightly breaked to go into the parking lot and just as I was turning he friggin collided right into my right rear bumper! The whole in bumper is broke. The entire right side was on the ground and there's barely any of the left side left. I jumped out of my car and it was some older guy...he goes "I'm so sorry, I thought I breaked quick enough"...Okay first of all what in the are you doing driving so fast on a rural area that's 40km/hr? !?!?! The impact was hard enough to wreck my entire rear bumper and he goes "I was only going 40, i must have breaked on ice"....there was no ing ice....it was just alot of snow this morning...and IF he was going 40...it wouldn't have had that much of a damage!!!! Like my head almost hit the steering wheel that's how hard he hit me! I was freaking out on him....so not only did that happen, I had to be late for work RIGHT in front of my building....had to wait for cops and everything and exchange information. And I've spent ALL my morning talking to my insurance, trying to find a garage to fix my car asap because I need it fixed by Monday at the latest all while I'm at work. I have a crazy ing headache...I can't believe this happened. I really don't wanna be here right now. Thank god he rear ended me and all the $$$$ will be coming out of his pocket...but I'm ing livid about my car! I just had it towed to a garage I found that will fix it asap...at least I found one. And a co worker is gonna drive me home. The earliest they can have it fixed is by early Monday morning... I'm so stressed. How am I gonna get to work Monday? Me*****Holy hun that sucks wow I can't believe it. I'm so happy your okay and it wasn't any worst my god. I could only imagine how upset you were crazy how most accidents happen so close to home or work. Your insurance should pay for a car rental until its fixed no? You could stay with me the weekend relieve some stress and bus or Uber to work from my place it wouldn't be very expensive!!!! I'd really like to spend time with you before your trip. I'm just leaving skating now frigen frozen! I can't wait for a nice hot shower. You still gonna come see me later Like we planned? Him*****I just got home. I've been trying to get my car fixed quicker than early Monday. Thank god my cousins friend who owns a garage is doing me a huge favour and can try and get it done by tomorrow night earliest.How am I going to your place from orleans? And then from ur place back to the garage tomorrow night to pick up my car? I have no car now. Me****Usually insurance always gets ppl a rental. And also cover costs for tow also. Him****Yup already thought of that...but it's a weekend. Car rental places are closed and insurance only does it if it's takes 2 or more days in the garage. I can't have it be that long which is why I've been pushing all day to get it fixed quicker cause I need it by Monday at the latest....so they won't lend me a car. Honestly,(MY NAME), I don't wanna sound like a . And I know absolutely nothing would feel better right niw than just do de stress with you right now, but I did not expect for this to happen and it's kinda ruined my mood for the rest of the day. I'm really upset this happened. I've been up literally all day trying to fix this even while at work and I just got home now. I just want to rest and stay at home tonight and sleep this day off. I'm sorry Me****Not sure. Your friend who lives close by? Lol guess not eh. Hope u have a good weekend tho. This sucks! I always rent cars on weekends lol they are open . But yeah it's a hassle. HOW BOUT DA 😂 Him**** sends me screen shot of closed car rental places... Me****Lol your funny hunny. I think they close at 6 on Sat anyways or something like that. But anyways no biggie. Hope u get outta ur funk and have a nice weekend. Him**** (MY NAME) .They are closed today . Do you not think I looked at that option already? Why do u keep saying that? ME*****Keep saying what ? Lol yeah your probably right. I only rent from them in summers... hrs are probably different! I don't doubt u did look into it. Really sorry to that happened tho....such worst timing right before your trip but at least u have tomorrow off to sort it out! OKAY SO.....So my guy never even messaged me back yet....ugh think he was very upset about his fender bender yesterday before his trip and I must have annoyed him by asking if he was still gonna see me at all . I don't know if I should wait and see if he texts me? He hasn't responded since 7pm last night Or should I send him a text saying: Hey, I realize you were having the worst day and all upset yesterday. It wasn't my intention to add anymore stress to it hun. Sorry if I did at all. I was just trying to give helpful ideas but I don't think it came across that way. I hope your having a better day, thinking of you! Something along those lines?
ParisPaulette Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 You've already posted about this guy. I still say he's playing head games, but you're letting him do so so I don't know what else to say. What car rental place is closed on a Saturday. I live in a tiny town, population not over 2,000 and our car rental place is open until the nth degree to suck down as much business as they can. Including Saturdays and Sunday afternoon. Sorry, I'll say it again. He has other women elsewhere and is playing you, big time. But you keep letting him. Too much drama and not even out of the honeymoon stage yet? Enjoy!
justshine1 Posted February 12, 2017 Author Posted February 12, 2017 I checked....they all close at 1 on Sat around here....and he worked until 2. I don't think he was lying about it. But my main worry right now if out text conversation from yesterday and I'm I'm in the wrong? Also if I should text that message today or not....
Wiseman2 Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 It seems he doesn't think of himself as a bf. Just casual hangouts and hookups.
angrythoughts Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 His trip dates magically changed and it just so happens his car gets into trouble the day you guys are supposed to hangout? Maybe it's true, maybe it isn't... but he's not as interested as you're telling yourself he is. You want more from someone who can't offer you that. You gotta move on from this guy. Start seeing other people.
Wiseman2 Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 He warned you it's only about hangouts and hookups.he says he's normally used to no phone calls....seeing a girl very little and texting once in a while to see if one another is alive.
justshine1 Posted February 12, 2017 Author Posted February 12, 2017 He was saying. ....that kind of relationship worked for him. That he loved the girl and ppl knew it. He just didn't have to be with her or talking to her 247 for her to know it. He also said he's worried he's not enough. But he's trying his hardest. I'm the type that loves hard. Believes in romance and love stories. And knows that shot exists. I'm not needy. But I do like to feel appricate and wanted by my partner. I told him I hope he doesn't think I'm being to much.... as in reality if anything iv withdrawn myself a lot compared to how I normally would be. So that I try to be more on his level. Because i do like him. I'm very attarcted and when I'm with him everything is like so great!!!! He said he doesn't think I'm being to much that he realizes this is normal female behavior. It's just not the type of dating he's used to.
angrythoughts Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 And no you shouldn't send that message. There's nothing that you said for him to be upset about. He can man up on his own and reach out when he wants. Don't chase him.
justshine1 Posted February 12, 2017 Author Posted February 12, 2017 And no you shouldn't send that message. There's nothing that you said for him to be upset about. He can man up on his own and reach out when he wants. Don't chase him. Fml to dam late. I sent it like 30 mins ago. No one gave me advice on that. So I thought I'd just say it. Cuz by him behaving this way it's made me feel like I am in the wrong
Wiseman2 Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 It sounds like a mismatch if you wish to be treated like a gf and loved. He couldn't push you away further if he tried. Sounds like all he wants is a fwb or hookup arrangement. It's up to you, not him, to find yourself someone who treats you with respect, is onto you and wants to spend time with you.I'm the type that loves hard. Believes in romance and love stories.
SeptemberSylv Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 I'd hate to be in that relationship. And where is this going? In ten years he'll see you and the kinds once a fortnight
justshine1 Posted February 12, 2017 Author Posted February 12, 2017 Well..... he never replied to my text yet....
justshine1 Posted February 12, 2017 Author Posted February 12, 2017 I'd hate to be in that relationship. And where is this going? In ten years he'll see you and the kinds once a fortnight Never heard that saying. .... what's the kinds and for night mean?
annie24 Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 Yeah, same advice I gave before - this guy doesn't sound interested in being your bf. move on.
Wiseman2 Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 Stop chasing him and look for a guy who wants the same things as you do.Well..... he never replied to my text yet....
JaggerJim Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 He warned you it's only about hangouts and hookups. I think he just wants casual hangouts and hookups too. It's not working tho, because you keep texting him to hang out!
Iggy5129 Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 His reaction to a minor life inconvenience was insane! Why all the cursing and screaming over a simple fender bender? You can drive a car without a fender. It's not necessary for the car to run. He yelled at an old man who accidentally hit him too? He sounds like a real prize 🙄 It's pretty suspicious that his travel dates magically changed and now his car conveniently gets in an accident when he is supposed to spend the weekend with you. Oh and the classic "I'm so insecure and not good enough for you" line. Lol you are being so obviously played by this guy. By the sound of your responses you are naive and will probably keep seeing this guy. We'll be here for you when you come back to post about how you found out about all his other girls. Good luck with this one.
justshine1 Posted February 13, 2017 Author Posted February 13, 2017 Hes finally replied..... 26 hrs later ..... Him*****Yeah, I'm not gonna lie it kinda irritated me when you kept telling me it was open...when all morning I was stressing about it getting fixed and obviously looked into getting a rental first. U tried telling me...twice even. I didn't get that. I didn't do anything all day cause of this snow storm. Packed, organized things for my trip. I don't even have my car yet
catfeeder Posted February 13, 2017 Posted February 13, 2017 What, exactly, does this guy bring to the table that's so fabulous? With millions of people in the world to date, I'd reconsider this investment in one guy who is not invested in you. Head high, and I hope you'll move forward. This guy is wasting your time.
justshine1 Posted February 13, 2017 Author Posted February 13, 2017 What, exactly, does this guy bring to the table that's so fabulous? With millions of people in the world to date, I'd reconsider this investment in one guy who is not invested in you. Head high, and I hope you'll move forward. This guy is wasting your time. Well there is a strong attration. I find it rare to have perfect kisses with someone and I have that with him. It's all very ensync. We have amazing conversation in person. And great times when we are together in person . Hes my ex neighbour. So we already had a curiousity of each other from the start so I think that's added an emphasis on all this.
justshine1 Posted February 13, 2017 Author Posted February 13, 2017 I'm thinking of replying with this message to his **** I felt like Friday date night we took a really good positive step forward in communication after our talk and I was pretty happy about that! It's unfortunate you got upset with me yesterday and wasn't able to voice it with me then. I've never been in a fender bender so I don't know the protocol and I also didn't know that rental places are closed during winter on weekends so, sorry about that but you told me and I believed you. I tried to be understanding and supportive for you during your tough time. I didn't do much today either, it's to crazy out there. I'm glad you got time to prepare for your trip and hopefully you get your car back soon.***
evad1 Posted February 13, 2017 Posted February 13, 2017 You have only been dating for 6 weeks and you're already trying to change him? I don't know if he's into you like that. I don't feel like you gave us enough information to say he's just in it for the fun. It was super awkward reading your messages. He just seemed really irritated and you were stressing about seeing him. I don't know, that conversation should have been much shorter. If you're going to stay with this guy I would stay away from texting him. You could have just said I'm sorry to hear that call me if you can to let me know how things go. The back and fourth was just uncalled for. If he's lying to you, You need to figure out if he's even serious about you.
catfeeder Posted February 13, 2017 Posted February 13, 2017 I'm thinking of replying with this message to his **** I felt like Friday date night we took a really good positive step forward in communication after our talk and I was pretty happy about that! It's unfortunate you got upset with me yesterday and wasn't able to voice it with me then. I've never been in a fender bender so I don't know the protocol and I also didn't know that rental places are closed during winter on weekends so, sorry about that but you told me and I believed you. I tried to be understanding and supportive for you during your tough time. I didn't do much today either, it's to crazy out there. I'm glad you got time to prepare for your trip and hopefully you get your car back soon.*** Way too invested for 6 weeks. You sound like you're walking on eggshells to please.
justshine1 Posted February 13, 2017 Author Posted February 13, 2017 Way too invested for 6 weeks. You sound like you're walking on eggshells to please. How do I sound like I'm walking on egg shells???? Cux I do almost feel that way but I'm just curious why you say that? I think he's totally done with me and trying to push me away to be honest. He's apparently leaving Tuesday morning. He's gone till the end of feb. Pretty much Leaving on a bad note. And has yet to respond to that reply. I'm not used to having issues when I date someone especially so soon. I'm so easy going usually. And he says the same about himself. So what's our dam problem. I don't know why I feel like it's a losing battle no matter what I do 😓😣
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