Niqueez1991 Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 Im 25 and my boyfriend is 29. Weve been dating for almost 4 years and living together for 1. In the last year ive recently discovered plenty of porn on his phone and laptop to bring it up to him. The fact that we rarely have sex but he clearly has interest in it bothers me. Ive brought up our lack of sex life multiple times but it doesnt seem to understand thats its hurtful to know that he gets off to all theses women on a screen but maybe actually has sex with me 1-2 times a month.he says its no big deal and all guys watch porn. But dont they prefer their own girlfriend over an imaginary one? Is this a normal?
Aarontmarshall Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 Im 25 and my boyfriend is 29. Weve been dating for almost 4 years and living together for 1. In the last year ive recently discovered plenty of porn on his phone and laptop to bring it up to him. The fact that we rarely have sex but he clearly has interest in it bothers me. Ive brought up our lack of sex life multiple times but it doesnt seem to understand thats its hurtful to know that he gets off to all theses women on a screen but maybe actually has sex with me 1-2 times a month.he says its no big deal and all guys watch porn. But dont they prefer their own girlfriend over an imaginary one? Is this a normal? Hey there, I'm sorry that you're going through a difficult period with your boyfriend. Men are stupid when this happens, remember that it is not your issue that he is doing this. Do not feel as if you do not satisfy him sexually, this is your boyfriend preferring to watch porn than to spend more time in the bedroom with you. Communication is the key here, sit him down and tell him how much this truly bothers you and that ask him what his issues are between the two of you in the bedroom because there are issues on his part, even if he denies it. Guys watch porn because it is something that they just can't do with there girlfriends, pornstars do more explicit things than the girlfriends do. Maybe you can discuss that you could spice things up a bit more? But do not do anything that you are uncomfortable with! You are both still young and should be having regular intercourse with one another even if you have been together for four years! I'll reiterate, sit him down and communicate. Nothing is worse than leaving it to build up into something worse, I.e. (Breaking up). But if he really does not listen to you then you should give him an ultimatum. He either addresses this issue or you will simply end up leaving him. Hope this helps.
Niqueez1991 Posted February 12, 2017 Author Posted February 12, 2017 Oh believe me, we have talked abo ut it. Im no prude by any means. Ive told him i wish he were more open with me in bed. Im more than ready and willing to satisfy the needs of my partner and have asked him to let me in on his fantasies but im feeling like he just want me involved.
Aarontmarshall Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 Oh believe me, we have talked abo ut it. Im no prude by any means. Ive told him i wish he were more open with me in bed. Im more than ready and willing to satisfy the needs of my partner and have asked him to let me in on his fantasies but im feeling like he just want me involved. Then your man is just being a fool. I believe you may need to really emphasise with him on how much this is bothering you otherwise you are just going to become more angry. A woman has needs and those needs need to be met. I have seen this thing before with a friend, she became irritable and began looking at other men which then led to her having feelings for another guy which then led to her break up with that guy. Stress how important this is to you to him. If he does not listen to you then you may wish to rethink things on the relationship.
Niqueez1991 Posted February 12, 2017 Author Posted February 12, 2017 Appreciate the advice. Thank you.
Wiseman2 Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 You need to pick your battles. Is it nagging about porn or lack or sex/affection? As you know nagging is unattractive and embarrassing. How is that helping in the romance dept? Do you ever plan date nights or romance? Say 'it's hurtful to me that you watch porn and masturbate' is nonsense and controlling, you'll get nowhere with that. Stop with the 'jealous over pictures' angle and address the real issue of lack of sex, affection and romance. Did the sex drop off once you move in? Playing house and not getting along can further cause problems where he wants to check out emotionally, that in addition to your nagging and chiding him like your his mother. Just stop. living together for 1. Ive brought up our lack of sex life multiple times but it doesnt seem to understand thats its hurtful to know that he gets off to all theses women on a screen but maybe actually has sex with me 1-2 times a month.
Niqueez1991 Posted February 12, 2017 Author Posted February 12, 2017 I never said i was nagging him. And no it didnt stop once we moved in. We never sex regularly but i expected it to happen more once we moved in.I ralized his use of more was more often than we actually had sex. Its not that i have a problem with the porn, its that i feel like the porn is taking place for what we could be doing.
JumpJalapeno Posted February 21, 2017 Posted February 21, 2017 Ok I have almost the same exact problem. We have sex more than once a month but he literally masturbates every time I'm gone. He still says I'm sexy and will act like we might have sex but we don't. Also when we do many times he doesn't cum, and also like you I am willing to be fun or whatever... All I can say is I completely understand, I have been feeling so bad about this. I need to talk to him but he can be very sensitive so I have to say it right...
cherubrock Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 Has he always used porn? what kind of porn is it? If he has always used porn it can be a sign of a deeper issue..an intimacy problem...or for some reason he prefers solo-sex..so I can understand how it can be sensitive topic for him to talk about. If he makes excuses imo thats a sign that it's an issue he has.
Wiseman2 Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 That's no good and has to change, of course. Lack of sex intimacy will unravel things. Tell him that. Also be prepared to end it and move out. i feel like the porn is taking place for what we could be doing.
.thumb.jpg.a0d9418827fbc694bdfccb9515d9347a.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.