Annie64 Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 My husband and I have been separated for over 3 years, not divorced but weeks after we separated (his choice) he was with someone else, they split and he has been with his current partner 2 yrs and got engaged last June. Now he has started messaging me over the last couple of weeks and basically he is saying he can't let go of the intimacy we shared because he believes this was so deep it can't be replicated. It's bugging me because I don't really know what to think or what he's thinking. Why is he telling me this stuff. I wouldn't just sleep with him but do still have feelings for him, yes I know unbelievable after 3 years but that's how it is. We have 2 children together that he sees regularly. If anyone could make any sense out of this for me I would appreciate it very my much. Thank you for reading. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 He sounds like someone who just wants what he can't have and will spend his life bouncing between "oh I had it so much better when..." and "I'll have it so much better when..." It's headgames. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 My husband and I have been separated for over 3 years, not divorced but weeks after we separated (his choice) he was with someone else, they split and he has been with his current partner 2 yrs and got engaged last June. Now he has started messaging me over the last couple of weeks and basically he is saying he can't let go of the intimacy we shared because he believes this was so deep it can't be replicated. It's bugging me because I don't really know what to think or what he's thinking. Why is he telling me this stuff. He's still married to you (NOT divorced) but he's engaged to another? I hope he realises that in order to marry his "fiancee" he'll need to be legitimately divorced? As for telling you he "can't let go of the intimacy we shared because he believes this was so deep it can't be replicated." - he's hoping to have sex with you, and hopes you'll fall for it - that way, he can have his cake and eat it too. Basically, he'll be cheating on his "fiancee". Ugh. Whatever you do, do NOT get involved. He's playing you. Also, why separated for 3 years and never divorcing? What's the point? Link to comment
Hollyj Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 Why haven't you divorced? Link to comment
catfeeder Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 Sounds like a load of bunk from someone who gets his jollies from being disloyal to whoever he's with at the moment. I'd respond through my lawyer by initiating the long overdue divorce. Link to comment
Annie64 Posted February 12, 2017 Author Share Posted February 12, 2017 Thank you for the replies. I haven't divorced him because I've never had the need to and don't see the point in paying to do so until I want to remarry if I ever do. I'm sure he does realise he needs to be divorced before he marries his fiancé if it ever gets that far. Tbh I feel sorry for the girl given what he's been texting me, quite explicit messages and yes most definitely, he would take up the offer if I offered sex and has offered sex to me. It's made me question if he was faithful to me during our marriage and I would rather that if he had cheated, someone had told me. It would have saved me a lot of years and heartache. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 I haven't divorced him because I've never had the need to and don't see the point in paying to do so until I want to remarry if I ever do. This can seriously harm your dating life. Most self respecting people consider separated-but-not-divorced to be radioactive and won't go there. But if you withhold your marital status in order to date, then you're positioned in the creepy role of confessing to a pretty serious omission. I'd skip that and pay for legal advice to gain the ex's fair share of the expense along with my liberation from such a swell guy. I'd consider the cost to be my tuition along with my ticket to a free and open future that won't entertain smut texts from the ex. Tbh I feel sorry for the girl given what he's been texting me, quite explicit messages and yes most definitely, he would take up the offer if I offered sex and has offered sex to me. It's made me question if he was faithful to me during our marriage and I would rather that if he had cheated, someone had told me. It would have saved me a lot of years and heartache. Why are you engaging? I'd delete, block and give his number to my lawer. Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Sounds like a load of bunk from someone who gets his jollies from being disloyal to whoever he's with at the moment. I'd respond through my lawyer by initiating the long overdue divorce. This ^^^. My ex-husband is like this. He remarried four years after we'd separated, but goes through phases of trying to rekindle some kind of relationship with me. One time I told him that his wife is the best thing that's ever happened to him (she is a wonderful woman and I like her enormously) and he told me he really regretted that he hadn't appreciated me. I responded that he was merely repeating his old pattern of not appreciating what he'd got, and that I wasn't going to be a part of it. Plonker. Link to comment
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