Should I Stay or Should I Go?

[Pisces2020]

Hey guys! This is a long story!! But bear with me. I've been with my mate for almost 5 years. We've been married for almost one year. Our anniversary is in a few days. But I'm really considering just separating and moving back in with my parents. That's my dilemma here. Back story: I met my mate at the ripe age of 19, young, ambitious and looking for love. We connected but obviously I fell harder than him. I was there for him through every up and down. I stayed and offered support and a place to stay when he lost his job for stealing and his parents threw him off to me to take care of. We got kicked out when he ed up stuff in the rental property we stayed at. I was 2 months pregnant. And I found out then that the whole time we were together he was responding to those gross sex Craigslist ads. Which broke my heart because I could only see through rose colored glasses. He continued to do this even though I asked and demanded many times for him to stop. I experienced so much stress from him and my family ( due to their hatred of him and his deeds) that I'm surprised our daughter didn't suffer in the womb. He continued to do this when I was going through other stressors like working full time, attending school full time, paying most of the bills, and caring for a newborn. I fell into such a deep depression. Most of this relationship has marked by bouts of extreme depression and loneliness with lack of emotional support. I finally had enough and decided to move back home with my parents. He decided to step up and promised to stop his foolishness and moved with me to my parents. He couldn't get along with my family and got his own place thanks to his parents financial assistance. Things were relatively fine in that state. The problems resumed when we decided to marry and move back to PA to live with his parents. I found out a month or so later he was on dating websites communicating with other women with a profile pic from our WEDDING CEREMONY!! To put the icing on the cake, his family has alienated me, talked down to me and about me when they think I can't hear. (It's a big house with thin walls). Even going as far as making fun of my depression. They think they are better than me and my family and they know everything about everything. Yet their kids are hot ass messes. I've asked him several times for support with this or at least a solid plan to move out ASAP. But there's nothing. He still very much acts in the way of his money is his money only and won't meet me halfway. And I don't make enough at my job to pay all of my bills, food, necessities for our daughter, my part of the rent we have to pay his parents, and stuff for him when he runs out of money to save to move out. So you can imagine that I feel trapped in a neverending circle of bull. I feel like the Hebrews wandering in the forest for generations, wondering why I can't find the Promised Land. I've been deeply depressed all of 2016. I'm feeling better these last few months. I feel stronger and more aware of the negative people in my life that need to go. I feel as though I need to leave and start my life anew. I have the support of my family if I decide to move back. My dad loves my daughter dearly. I have big dreams for the future that I'm not sure he's a part of. But I don't want to hurt him or our family. He seems to be doing a bit better. However I still catch him on those Craigslist ads. But it's happened so much I'm desensitized and I no longer care. What should I do?

[03222019]

You are right you need a new life, this man is horrible and toxic for you. Get rid and put you and your daughter first. People like this never change, all empty promises and no lasting actions or changes. You can only be 24/25? You can and will find so much better. But right now focus on what's best for you. Create the life you deserve. X

[Matt3939]

You can't find the promised land cause you are wondering in the same desert. Try the woods a lot more cute creatures there. Good luck

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this, but your insight and intuition seem very good. It's never too late to admit things went wrong and cut your losses. Perhaps the love of your child is the needed wake up call here?

 

Move back to your folks and file for an annulment (gross deception) or a divorce. He's not only dead weight, he's an anchor that will drag you and your daughter down as he continues to sink as a bottom dweller.

 

He seems to be a shady irresponsible character. Does he drink/do drugs or is he a sociopath?

 

Prowling sleazy ads is the least of your problems or his character defects. been married for almost one year. He continued to do this when I was going through other stressors like working full time, attending school full time, paying most of the bills, and caring for a newborn. and move back to PA to live with his parents. My dad loves my daughter dearly. I have big dreams for the future that I'm not sure he's a part of.

[kamurj]

Multiple accounts are not allowed. Thread closed.