distantearth Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Hi, everyone. My situation is slightly different from the usual. I was romantically involved with my girlfriend for about 15 months. It was always a bit rocky, but still a very good experience. And she really became one of my two or three closest friends. She decided to break up with me last June, four days before we were to leave for a three-week trip to Japan! As a result, we moved from romance to non-romantic friends very quickly. There were bumps in the road, but all in all we made the transition pretty successfully. And we remained very close for the next few months, texting every day and sharing pretty much everything with one another. Until a new boyfriend appeared on the scene! She has been with him for around a month now, and is very serious, already contemplating marriage. She actually held off telling me about the arrival of this new man for about three weeks. We still texted every day, but her texts became remote and perfunctory. I finally asked her about the change in tone, thinking she was perhaps simply becoming tired of me. It was then that she told me of her new romance. Since hearing about this, my emotions have been in an uproar. I tried going "no contact," but lapsed after less than two weeks. Now the two of us are in contact, but I'm still feeling extremely conflicted. I would like to be the ideal friend she is hoping for -- and I think she is honest in wanting to remain close friends with me -- but I'm finding it very difficult. Do you think I should go back on "no contact" until my feelings have calmed a bit? Or should I fight through the feelings and try to remain her close friend? I will certainly miss her if it's "no contact," but I fear that may be my only choice. Any opinions or advice you can provide me would be welcome. Thanks! Link to comment
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