Two Months In...Now What?

[firsttimedater]

About two months ago, I met someone on PoF and we hit it off. He lives in a city about 30 minutes from my hometown, but as I'm a college student I spend much of time about 3 hours away. When I was home on break in December we met, went out and he asked for a second date before kissing me goodbye. Now, we've been out together four times, once in my hometown, two in his and he's come to visit me for a night in at my apartment.

 

I felt very happy with how things were progressing. We text on and off throughout the day every day and he calls me more days than not, sometimes we are able to talk for a couple of hours. We've both discussed that we have feelings for one another and are interested in a relationship rather than something casual, but he's also made it clear that he's not ready - "yet, but soon".

 

In the past few days, he mentioned coming down to visit me, then picked up shifts on both his days off, which made it pretty impossible to even grab lunch or dinner with how far apart we are. I didn't feel bothered by this at first because hey, life happens, but now that we haven't made any plans and he's been kind of vague about when he's off next or if I could drive up to see him over the weekend, I'm feeling disappointed and a little frustrated with myself for maybe being "too nice". I just don't get why he would put in the effort to text, FB message and call me so regularly if he was just dragging me around.

 

He seems like a truly great guy and I could see myself in a relationship with him, but not if I can never see him or am always second to his 80+ hour work weeks. Am I expecting too much as a non-girlfriend? I just don't know what to do or say, or if this is worth saving so early on.

[mike7788]

Sounds like he may have lost some interest over the distance or perhaps work has him stressed or perhaps there is another lover.

 

Id say due to his vagueness etc. Things will likely slow down even more soon.

 

If you want to salvage, give it some time, let him come to you and make the effort instead of you.

 

 

As well, ask yourself if long distance with barely any physical time is what you want. Sure he might be a great guy, but there are plenty of great guys who meet the criteria of close distance, without working so much.

 

Dial down your KMS on POF and perhaps keep fishing for a better match.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately he may be multidating and putting you on the back burner because of distance. Messaging is a low effort way to maintain some interest.

 

This is what you need to listen to 6748127]he's also made it clear that he's not ready - "yet, but soon"