lovingthefall Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 I’ve been single for quite a long time and while I’m mostly fine with it, I’ve recently started to wonder what makes it so easy for some people to date and find a partner, while others, like me, stay single for much longer. I randomly ran into an acquaintance yesterday, who I haven’t seen for years because his addictions and self-centeredness made him quite difficult to spend time with. This guy has been a drug user for 15+ years, hasn’t worked a job since his teens, lives off welfare and handouts from family, cheated on his ex wife multiple times, and regularly uses people to get what he wants. I recently heard through mutual acquaintances that his wife had left him, and that he was borrowing money from everyone he could, to buy furniture etc for the new apartment that his family are renting for him. I also heard that he’s been dating a lot and has a couple of new girlfriends that he’s been seen with, and when I ran into him he showed me photos and told me about them and they’re all gorgeous, successful women. I know a few other guys, too, that are average-looking, shy, alcoholic, drug-using guys in their late 30s, with little to no financial stability, and yet never seem to spend more than a couple of months single. I, on the other hand, am a stable, healthy, successful guy, that’s always had loads of attention from the opposite sex and has no addictions or destructive personality traits that I'm aware of, and yet I’ve been single for years. I meet literally hundreds of smart, beautiful, successful women in my life and many of them are attracted to me, flirt, ask me out for lunch etc, but they’re always either married or otherwise involved. I've also had people leave anonymous notes on my desk saying they think I’m hot, and other colleagues emailing and IM’ing me at work to flirt, and yet I’ve only met one single woman in the past few years and she was crazy. Before Christmas, one of these woman that I work with even confided in me that she's getting cold feet about her upcoming wedding and said to me "but if a guy like you ever proposed to me, I wouldn't be worrying". I then met a relationship counselor at a party, and after chatting all evening she said that she’s never met a guy that’s more in tune with what it takes to make a relationship work and that if every guy were like me, she’d be out of a job. How is that people like the one I saw recently can have so much success, while people like me that that seem to have far less red flags on their record don’t? I even tried online dating late last year and got zero responses, and I've seen the same situation with several women, as well as men, that I've known. In the past I’ve known amazing, smart, gorgeous, successful women that just could not find a guy for years, no matter how hard they tried. This was while I wasn’t single, though…they’re all in relationships now. Have any of you seen this happen in your own lives, or the lives of people you know? And, if you have, what were your thoughts on why it happens? Link to comment
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