I thought this guy liked me but he takes ages to text back, Is he worth pursuing

[tillyrae1]

There’s this guy that I like and seem to think and obsess about all the time. I met him in this shop that he works at and we barely talked to each other. I kept going in the shop and started to notice the fact that he would stare at me and act differently around me, the signs got bigger and bigger every time I went in and it was pretty clear he liked me/was attracted to me. So one day I went in and gave him my number and he seemed very happy about it and said he’d text me. A day later he did asking how I was. I assumed from then on we’d have conversations and get to know each other. But he takes a day or sometimes longer to reply to each text. This has been going on for a week now. However, This time I haven’t heard from him for 4 days though! He’s seems genuine and nice when he texts and they aren’t basic short texts either. But I find it frustrating as I want to get to know him but can’t as it takes too long. He is pretty good looking and cool and works full-time, so he could be quite busy or has other girls liking him. Do you think he is at all interested in me or am I wasting my time? Is he worth pursuing?

[Betterwithout]

Can you agree that texting is convenient, but not the best way to get to know him?

Has he suggested a coffee date, or other type of in person date?

You made the first move on giving him your number, maybe he is a little shy and wants you to make the next move and ask for an in person date?

[abitbroken]

I worked at a shop. When i started to see the same person again and again, I WOULD respond differently to them because they are now familiar to me. I might already know their taste, etc, so could suggest things right away. So he might be polite, not interested - who knows. But he did say he'd TEXT you. And he did. A bolder move on your part would have been to chat him up about his interests and hint about one you have in common and see if he asks you out. Maybe you need to take some initiative and text more, but more importantly, go there in person and talk to him. He might be totally dense to the fact that you like him, he could have a girlfriend, or whatever. But if he sees you again and doesn't make any moves to see you outside of his job, then you best keep your crush under control.

 

I think you are too fixated on him and i would try to meet other guys.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to say, but you are not dating. He's not asking you out. Does he have a gf?

 

Have you read the book "He's Just Not That Into You"? it may help you sort out how interested someone is : this guy that I like and seem to think and obsess about all the time. I assumed from then on we’d have conversations and get to know each other. He is pretty good looking and cool

[abitbroken]

Sorry to say, but you are not dating. He's not asking you out. Does he have a gf?

 

Have you read the book "He's Just Not That Into You"? it may help you sort out how interested someone is : ]

 

I laughed my way through that one.

 

He reminds me of my cousin. A girl asked him to text her. He sent her a text. He did what he said. he was done. If she answered back, sometimes he answered. And he didn't think more about it. Texting is lazy. Asking out, meeting, etc, is not.

[lucidious]

He's probably not a texter. Most guys aren't. Or he could be slow at texting because he's in his head trying to compose the perfect reply (lol there's a meme for that somewhere)

 

Text him for a meet up or find out his schedule, so you can call him when he gets off work and you guys can chat and set up a date. If I were you I would just call when I'm on break or something so convo will be kept short, sweet and straight to the point. If he doesn't pick up leave a voicemail saying, "just called to say hello and was wondering if you wanted to grab a drink/coffee/food sometime"

 

And I agree with the above poster that you should keep your options open and try to meet other guys as well.

[abitbroken]

If he is not responsive to you, you are in for a big fall. You have a crush and are not paying attention to reality. I would not ask him out over text. It would crush you if he took a day to answer back or rejected you. See him again in person and see if he asks you out. At least then you can maybe let this rest instead of making wild assumptions based on his texting speed.

[ShatteredMan]

I'm not a big texter. I don't really respond to anyone but family during my work hours. I don't look at the phone in the car unless the car isn't moving.

 

Why don't people call each other anymore?

[limichelle]

Wiseman2 is right he's just not that into you.

I have the movie and I remember the bartender saying guys aren't that complicated if they want something they go after it.

 

I would move on.

 

Lisa

[anonomousguy12]

Maybe he's not the type of guy that texts. Maybe wait a few days or next time you see him ask him for a drink or coffee? If he says no move on.

Whenever I'm on whatsapp I take a few days to reply because I prefer being on the phone.

[ParisPaulette]

Yeah, I wouldn't put anything by way of texts. Texting is lazy at best, a pleasant past time like watching youtube videos or playing a game on your phone for a few minutes before you get back to work. That's not what you want anyone to ever treat you like, and yes that's what this guy is treating you like. Mild interest when he feels like it. Ouch!

 

The fact however that he has your phone number, has seen you numerous times, and yet can't be bothered to ring you up and ask you out for a coffee even speaks volumes. Unless women give him their phone numbers so often that for him this has become the norm, I'm pretty sure most guys would take that as a go sign big time.

 

Give him one shot, ask him out for coffee. And if he at all has excuses for why not when or says yes then stands you up or bails on you consider this is a sign from above he is either simply trying to politely hint he's not interested or has another woman somewhere else.

 

That's really the only way you're going to know if this is going anywhere, but texting? That's not how you even get to know someone and it's lazy at best to try and create a relationship via that. He hasn't even asked you out, right now we're in the realm of "how ya doing" as you both cross the street and bump into each other.

[Hollyj]

Sorry, he's not interested .

[JaggerJim]

Have you tried asking him out on a date? You gave him your number, why have you not asked him out yet?

[Chloee1988]

Honestly, it really doesn't seem that he's interested; maybe he has a gf, or is simply not interested in you. Do NOT initiate contact with him again, and wait to see if he will possibly make a move, although I doubt he will. His actions show complete disinterest in you, sorry to be blunt, but you're really wasting your time investing in someone who can't even bother to ring you or make plans to meet!

 

When a guy is really interested in you, he'll contact MUCH MORE often and make concrete plans to get together. Anything less than that means he's either not interested or in contact w/ other girls.

 

Good luck!

[tillyrae1]

This is an update on the situation. He never texted me back. However I found him on Facebook and instagram yesterday and it turns out we are really similar and and like lots of the same stuff. We genuinely seem made for each other. But I found out that he's 24 years old, while I am 18. And the text he ignored is the one where I revealed how old I was. Do you think he ignored it because the age gap put him off? I've just followed him on instagram, in the hope that he'll look at my profile and see how much we have in common. Do you think that may work or do you think he'll find it creepy that I searched up and followed him?

[IAmFCA]

This is an update on the situation. He never texted me back. However I found him on Facebook and instagram yesterday and it turns out we are really similar and and like lots of the same stuff. We genuinely seem made for each other. But I found out that he's 24 years old, while I am 18. And the text he ignored is the one where I revealed how old I was. Do you think he ignored it because the age gap put him off? I've just followed him on instagram, in the hope that he'll look at my profile and see how much we have in common. Do you think that may work or do you think he'll find it creepy that I searched up and followed him?

 

I don't know and neither will you ever know what he thinks about you following him on Insta.

 

I do know that 18 v 24 is an enormous gap in many circles. When my friends were in our 20s we used to talk about this. How weird it was that even at 21 we wouldn't date someone 18. It mattered that we were in college, that life after high school was very different for us than for people who hadn't yet gone to college or were not going to go; it mattered further that life after college was different still.

 

This answer might be different in a community where college is irrelevant.

 

On a side note, I caution you to think differently. Let your relationship come to you while you are pursuing your path in the world. You will find you can love yourself once and best, and having done that, find and retain the love that is most fulfilling. Love is endless. This one 24 year old will not be the only one who interests you.

 

Just for fun, go to The Gottman Institute website and read the blogs etc. It is interesting to read about what makes two people stay together. It is very much about personality types, the absence of self destruction, the ability to be kind, the ability to be grateful, the ability to believe and have faith that you yourself are lovable. [url="

 

Shared interests are less relevant than we think.