I gave her up it still hurts like hell

[Cafelatte]

Has been in a relationship for 3 years with a girl. She is a year older than me. Well we clicked. However often I'm not caring enough, I seem to care about advancement in my career more, or in her words, I dun put her as first. We also have different religion. We also have different priorities in life. Due to these I was thinking ok I love her but she wont be happy with me as I'm not the best for her. I told her well it seems we might not work, but I'll be there for you still . She got into another relationship last week. And gosh it was the worst feeling ever. I just couldnt accept it. My brain said to let go move on but my heart just cant stop aching.

I started having guilts that i never had, like I din treat her well enough, I should have treated her better, more caring, sacrifice and follow whataver she wants. Maybe she is the best for me. Things like that. Is that normal

[gebaird]

sacrifice and follow whataver she wants. Maybe she is the best for me. Things like that. Is that normal

 

Yes, it's perfectly normal. Your heart is hurting, and you're in the "bargaining" stage of grief.

 

Here's the thing, though: if you have to become someone you're not in order to keep a relationship alive, it's unsustainable in the long run.

 

Find someone who loves you for you.

[Cafelatte]

Yes, it's perfectly normal. Your heart is hurting, and you're in the "bargaining" stage of grief.

 

Here's the thing, though: if you have to become someone you're not in order to keep a relationship alive, it's unsustainable in the long run.

 

Find someone who loves you for you.

 

Thanks mate. yupe. I know Im in that stage. She told me its useless that I think of anything now as she has moved on and she has no love for me anymore since I was the one who gave her up. However the pain is still unbearable, u literally feel an aching pain at the heart although its not medical

[Kat24]

I think the girl understand what you are experiencing. Yes! We don’t show any emotions but deep inside we are hurt too. But if is not working then we can’t do everything about that and accept the fact that there are better things. Maybe friendship is good than having a relationship with a lot of problems to face.

[Cafelatte]

I think the girl understand what you are experiencing. Yes! We don’t show any emotions but deep inside we are hurt too. But if is not working then we can’t do everything about that and accept the fact that there are better things. Maybe friendship is good than having a relationship with a lot of problems to face.

 

hey thanks...hmm but her last replies sounded real cold . well it didnt work, coz of differences . thats why I thought its better to let her go. when she moved on and found a new love, suddenly it all came back, suddenly her weaknesses I saw before this dissapeared. she suddenly felt like the one. In a sudden it just felt like I made a huge mistake. I had to let her go as I thought she wont be happy with me in the future.

I hope what Im feeling now is just a normal phase

[OrientalSweet]

I will do the same thing if I were her. I'm in the same shoe as her. I love my ex-boyfriend so much and treat him like a king. I did everything to make him happy but his priority is not me. Obviously he loves himself and focus on other things more than loving me. Do you know how hard is it for a woman to move on from someone we love so much? But if we decided to move on, we will never return back. As much as you are hurting right now, we hurt even more but we need to learn to love ourselves. If you know you are not so ready to give 100% for the relationship, don't jump in. It's hurt for both side. It's really not fair for the girl when she gave you 100% and she doesn't get back in return. Let's move on and find someone when you are ready and not focus too much in other things beside the relationship.

[Cafelatte]

I will do the same thing if I were her. I'm in the same shoe as her. I love my ex-boyfriend so much and treat him like a king. I did everything to make him happy but his priority is not me. Obviously he loves himself and focus on other things more than loving me. Do you know how hard is it for a woman to move on from someone we love so much? But if we decided to move on, we will never return back. As much as you are hurting right now, we hurt even more but we need to learn to love ourselves. If you know you are not so ready to give 100% for the relationship, don't jump in. It's hurt for both side. It's really not fair for the girl when she gave you 100% and she doesn't get back in return. Let's move on and find someone when you are ready and not focus too much in other things beside the relationship.

 

I agree 100% with you. I wasnt ready. I was putting maximum effort into my career. And also she was hitting 31 and she couldnt wait any longer. She had to move on. Gosh I didnt expect when she had a new love it will be so painful. So painful that I cant even concentrate on my career. Im a very rational person, I know the right thing is move on and concentrate on what Im doing, but still my brain cant overcome my heart