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Should I turst this girl I'm seeing or is alcohol more important?


Informed101

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I am dating a girl I used to date a few years ago. Back then pretty much every time she drank she got drunk. One day I came home from working and she was gone. Packed and left. She had a history of doing that, three times in fact. Fast forward to today (she's almost 34) and we've had our ups and downs. She cheated on me before but blamed it on the alcohol and said she was taken advantage of by her ex. I told her if she had not lied about going out with a girlfriend and was instead with her ex...while living with me, none of it would have happened. She still blames him and the booze and she doesn't seem to taken any responsibility. This past Friday night she tells me she's working. Although I don't know exactly what she does because she doesn't have a regular job but does different jobs as a "consultant." When she goes off to "work" particularly at night she never answers her phone. I mean I call her and she NEVER answers her phone. I've never experienced that. I think when your BF or GF calls you, especially if you're working who knows where with who knows whom, you should answer your phone, particularly considering our past trust issues and how we're supposed to be building trust now. I think a significant other should answer their phone if they're "working" and its 11: 00 p.m. at night. This past Firday she' was "working" and never answered her phone. Then she calls me around 10:30 p.m. Says she's tired. That she's driving home and almost home and going to sleep. I say I love you and wish her a good night. AT 12:30 my phone rings. It's her. But she's not talking to me. She's laughing and I hear she's talking to some guy. I hear his voice too. I listen and say her name but she does not answer! Line goes dead. I call her a dozen times and she does not answer. I drive to her place which is about 5 minutes away. She's not home. I wait there for her. At 1:30 in the morning she comes home. She's drunk. She obviously lied to me about being almost home. Instead, now she says she had a frustrating night so she went with this guy from "work" to do a couple of shots! In her mind somehow this is okay. I am now the bad guy for being at her place. Saturday we're supposed to go to lunch. She picks me up. Her seat is reclined very far back. I'm a car guy. I tell her her seating position is dangerous. She's out of alignment with airbags, etc. She slams on her brakes and says get out of my car. She gets very angry pretty easy. I get out. Later that day I smooth things over with her on the phone. I spend the night at her place and we make love Sunday morning. I have to leave to move my car from an 8:00 a.m. parking zone. It's Superbowl Sunday, just two days after the Friday night incident. I call her around 1:00 in the afternoon. She tells me she's going to a party, sometime around 2. I say it would be nice if she mentioned this to me. I ask if I can go she says "You're not on the list." I say to her I want to go with her she says no. Now, in my mind, I'm already thinking its not cool for a GF trying to build trust, especially after what just happened on Friday, to go off to a super bowl party without me. Anyway, She's gone all day....and into the night. I call her she never answers her phone. Finally, around 9:00 p.m. she answers. She's drunk. So she's drunk Friday night and now Sunday. I ask her how she got to the party and she says "a friend." I ask who is 'he", the guy that drove you, and She hangs up on me. I go to her place, needing to see for myself. Around 10:30 a car pulls up. Two guys and two girls, one being my GF. She still is not answering my calls. She's drunk. She blows the guy a bunch of kisses, doesn't actually kiss him from where I am standing. I walk up to her and say her name. She turns and sees me. She's mad at me for being there. Says I'm insane for being at her place. Apparently she doesn't think there's anything wrong with coming home drunk, Friday and Sunday and she thinks its okay to not answer my calls, even at night when she's "working." She thinks its okay to go do shots with some guy she meets at her "job" at 1:00 a.m. and seemingly be some guys date to a party. What's going on here? Is this a sign of alcoholism or just a girl that doesn't care or is self absorbed or has no heart? Is this a girl I should trust?

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